I have a lot of female friends, but not long ago I realized in PERSON, I had lost my touch somewhere along the line. In high school and college I had a bunch... but I think somewhere around the time I had my first serious boyfriend, that GROUP of girls thing fell apart a little.
|My buddies Mike and Brian McMenamin (erm... okay, so I met them)|
I hear stories about my friends and THEIR batches of friends and I wonder if I missed some lesson on how these relationships are formed. I yearn for it sometimes, but I know I am not particularly great at some of the aspects of it, living in my bubble as I do. I'm not the thoughtful one who brings treats, or the helpful one who knows how to do stuff... and heck, I've had obligations up the gazoo for almost 20 years, so I have limited TIME... (excuses excuses)
When we moved to Michigan, I made some friends... largely moms of my kids' friends... For a while I had a batch of neighbors who all had similar ages of kids, but all three women moved, eventually, and you know... NONE of these circles really held me... I was sort of peripherally allowed to participate (That sounds like I'm pouting, but I'm seriously not trying to... I'm trying to be a little analytical); I was never integral.
A HUGE part of that was being the 'working' mom in groups of moms who didn't have to—that speaks to temperament as much as situation. It wasn't that I wasn't home (well, except that that contributed)... it's that I never would have WANTED to be at home (so there was also a lack of understanding). I mean I'd love to write from home for a job, but I could never be a full-time mom. I adore my kids, but remember, sometimes I forget I have them (far better their DAD was the one who spent some years at home). I am an only child—self-centered at times, and in my own head MOST of the time.
|Oliver in the leaves: Oliver's person is one of our posse.|
What is NEEDED is the regular time spent together—invested in getting to know each other better, and if you are working on something together, there is a reason to do that. Our posse of three becomes a posse of 4 tonight... I am second oldest... two of us are moms but the other has LITTLE kids. The other two are single. We have disparate eating habits and politics (though all enjoy a cocktail now and again) but MAN, do we laugh a lot.
And you know what? It's really fun to have a group of women I hang out with in real time. I'm sure it's the first time since my mom's group when Tartlet the First was little (a group I was pretty peripheral on, now that I mention it—owing to being employed... erm... and awkward.)
|The Burrowers Beering in Wales (some of my FAVORITE people)|
What it's done for my commitment to getting back in shape is huge. I know I would have quit by now, had I tried this alone. But what it's done for beginning to rebalance me is bigger. So thank you ladies! You're the best!