Xenophobia: The Real Enemy

Sorry for not blogging last week. I was mostly Wri-Moing, but also this...

It was a very draining news week. The sort that put me into a couple totally unexpected arguments with people. I try not to get too political here, though I have very strong views and sometimes can't help myself. Easier to not do it if I am just not here...

But I do have some stuff to say. The world feels truly scary right now. Terrorist attacks, sure. They are horrible. But also this mood of people wanting to close themselves off. The waning trust. The intend for isolation.

Trump wants a Muslim registry (hello, Hitler)
Cruz says we can take in refugees if they are Christian (does he know the US religious history?)
37 governors (in spite of no legal right) say “no refugees here”...

And then I saw this.

Scary-ass white supremacists-home grown

These guys were found by the FBI, intent on blowing up black churches and synagogues. And it got me to thinking a couple things.

1)  The terrorists we grow in the US are significantly more numerous than any risk of someone from outside coming in to hurt us.
2)  These terrorists are the EXTREME of Xenophobia. They are trying to kill people who aren't LIKE them.
3)  This means by US getting all paranoid about Muslims and refugees we are behaving more like these people who are a far bigger threat to us than the Muslims or Refugees in this country will ever be.

ALSO:

The terrorists in France? ALL European nationals. That dropped passport was done intentionally because ISIS wants us to do exactly what we are doing. Panic and refuse the refugees a safe place. Because see... those refugees are running from ISIS. Nice trick, and we are falling for it.

ALSO ALSO:

I ran across a conversation on Facebook (a couple actually) about when it was reasonable to “go in and blow them up” and this is what I have to say about that.

Go in WHERE? ISIS is not a place. It is an ideology of people who are scattered throughout the world. Malala says it best:

The cost of “going in and blowing them up” is this—too many innocents and not enough of the actual bad guys, which means we activate a whole bunch of NEW extremists... we GROW them.

The only way to do this is embrace, befriend, support and love the NON-extreme people of the world, regardless of religion or race. Be inclusive. Allow them to be self determining and help them when extreme groups try to force something on them. Nothing has promoted these extreme views as much as our own fear of socialism and interference we have conducted in defense of our capitalist agenda.

So there.

See. I'm not very good at not being political sometimes. That said, try to keep in mind people come by their views sincerely. People are afraid and saying things and wanting things out of a place of fear, not because they are evil. Give your friends a break if they disagree. Talk about it, but do so calmly and with a goal of greater understanding.


IN OTHER NEWS

I passed 45 K for NaNoWriMo, so that is cool... about ready for the final big action sequence.


IN OTHER OTHER NEWS

I wish all my US friends a very happy Thanksgiving! May the universe grant you much to be thankful for.

12 Steps for Writers

This is an Insecure Post

[This post is ALSO meant to be lighthearted and fun and in no way diminish the important role the AA 12 Steps play in the lives of many. I have loved ones alive because of them, so no disrespect intended]

1.  We admit we are powerless over the publishing industry. That it was making our lives unmanageable. 

2.  We came to believe a calling greater than publishing could restore us to sanity. 

3.  We made a decision to be true to our inner writer and turn our lives over to the writer we could be. 

4.  We made a fearless searching inventory of the mistakes we were making in both writing and publishing. 

5.   We admitted to our inner writer and our blog rolls the exact nature of our wrongs. 

6.  We were entirely ready to turn our inner writer over to a writing improvement process. 

7.  We humbly asked peers and beta readers to give us honest feedback and where we fell deficient committed to workshops and exercises to improve. 

8.  We made a list of all the idiot things we'd done in futile attempts at publishing and became willing to learn from them. 

9.  We erased evidence from the internet wherever possible and outed ourselves where it wasn't so we could at least claim to know better now. 

10.  We continued to take personal inventory and when we made mistakes, admitted and fixed them. 

11.  We sought through writing words and sentences and stories to improve our inner writer, making a conscious effort to be our best writer self, each day better than the day before. 

12.Having a writerly awakening because of these steps we carried them forth to other writers.

Don't worry about the publishing. Worry about the writing. The rest will come.


So there... a little goofy, but it occurred to me last night that what has been very hardest on my love of writing and has dampened my drive and my work ethic about it is my pursuit of publishing. I mean I want to publish. But I want to love writing more, and I think I write better when I let go a bit of what I think will sell, because apparently I know nothing.

Now go visit some OTHER insecure writers!!!

Subject to Experimentation

So I think our son is experimenting on us.

Let me give you some background.

In 1992 my husband and I adopted a kitty named Lucy because Bernie, our other cat, had lost a sibling and was sad. (I mean who doesn't get their cat a kitten when they are sad?). Lucy was very quirky. A guard cat. A beer thief. And ice cream thief. (really any dairy product) And like ALL the cats I've had as an adult, she was a bathroom cat. And then some. She trained us very thoroughly, that one.

You see, if we left the lid up, we would come in and there she was, poised on the rim, scooping all the toilet water all over the bathroom. (so we became people who put the lid down. Always. And if we looped the toilet paper from over the top she would sit on the toilet and unravel the WHOLE ROLL into a heap on the floor. So we became “from under” people with our toilet paper.


So About This Experiment...

We no longer have Lucy, sadly. But we have maintained those habits. Yet SOMEBODY has begun putting the toilet paper on wrong. Now I ALWAYS still go from under. And I think hubs does too. But I believe my son (nearly 17) has learned to change the toilet paper, yet... HE DOES IT WRONG! But see, I'm proud he's learned to do it. So I usually just enjoy that it wasn't just stacked on the side of the tub or the back of the toilet. But SOMETIMES I can't help myself... and I turn it around.

But YESTERDAY, I KNOW for a fact I ignored that a new roll had been put on backward... yet when I got home someone had switched it... and it occurred to me the son may be testing his dad and I to see how long it takes to flip it... to see WHO flips it.

So today? New roll. And I turned it around.


Does your family have any striking quirks?

Whatever Happened to Delusional Thursday?

You know... I used to be a good time. I was funny, zany, wacky even... Somehow the last couple years have sapped me. Two full time jobs (pretty much—with the writing, I mean), kids challenges, money trouble, family deaths, my husband almost dying... Really heavy CRAP. So I've come to the conclusion it has made for a dull Tart...

The big stuff is dealt with, so I think I need to recommit to some silly shenanigans.

It would fit well here...

Tart-Worthy Book of Digressions

One of the things I've toyed with is writing a non-fiction book. I'm not an expert on much, but I think I could manage a guide for people to add a little silliness back in their lives—one of those silly bathroom books people keep by their toilet so they can read a bit when they only have 90 seconds... Just random ideas on things they should do or think about. I'm not sure if I will ever publish it, but it is time to start working on it, as it would get me back focused on stuff that makes me laugh.


Speaking of laughing...

My buddy Gae posted an article on Facebook yesterday that I didn't read because I was at work and didn't want to get busted, but the part that she noted—it was for reducing worry in kids—was our body doesn't actually know the difference between real laughing and fake laughing, so I hereby command you (and me) to laugh for a while every day, whether you feel like it or not. You'll feel better for it and it will help me feel like I'm in charge of you, which is good for morale.

Nobody can watch this without laughing. Armadillo at play
Or this: Teddy and his pumpkins
Or this: Cute Little Duck, Quack quack quack

Mercury is out of Retrograde

This officially means stuff is going to get better. So there. All the crap of January? Poof. All gone. Bye-bye. But if you'd like to give me credit for your year taking a turn for the better, I am okay with that. It should last until May, though the May one will be a doozy because Mercury will be in Gemini and Mercury RULES Gemini, and then it will go all backward and wonky... so don't count on anything going right at the end of May or the first half of June.


So go out and get a little silly today, and I will try to insert a little back into the blog, ne?

A Worry of Bloggers (and other Assorted Madness)

So you know about Misattributing, right?

No?

See, it's my superpower. I can hear what YOU say and give it a new context so it means something different (usually dirty and I wouldn't bother if the new thing wasn't funny)

So last weekend I was reading a link to a blog post and it began, “A worry of bloggers is...”

And I just stopped reading. I would SO MUCH rather think that bloggers, collectively, can be called a worry and that this worry is doing something COOL than to have yet another thing to worry about... So I have dibbed it so. We, COLLECTIVELY, are now a Worry.

My buddy Joris did these

There is precedence, you know...

A flamboyance of flamingos?


A murder of crows?


These names are OBVIOUSLY the result of somebody having way too much fun.


What about An Anxiety of Authors?
A Rascal of Writers?
A Significance of Statisticians?

Go ahead. You try it!

See--aren't these great? He's a talented guy.

In Other News...

Still WriMoing. My sad news of last week gave me some slow days in there when the muse really just wanted to be mopey, but I still wrote at least a little every day, and my super start padded the down time. I have confidence that at some point this week I will pass the mark where I only need to do less than a thousand words a day to make it.

I am experimenting with this one. It is the first true mystery I've done where I am including multiple PoV including the person(s) who dunnit... I'm not sure whether I like it or not, or whether it takes the whole MYSTERY out of the mystery... U is for Undertow (Sue Grafton) did it and I liked the effect, but it may be I need to do something different on the rewrite. Even if I do though, I feel like I understand my killer better this time than I have. I think it will prove a useful exercise even if it DOES get dropped.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 (she is 5'8")

And TOMORROW, my baby boy turns 16. Poor kid has finals Wednesday and Thursday, so it is lousy timing (his high school is on trimesters). Measured him Friday—he is 6'6” tall. He has a driver's permit and has to fold himself into our car—it's not like my husband and I are tiny people, but 5 inches is a pretty big deal.

I have a swamped week at work with deadlines Thursday and Friday, so this will be the only blog, but hopefully once I am past that, I can get back to a little more.

The Virtue of the Three-Day Work Week

So I'm starting this campaign. I'd appreciate your endorsement, and would not say no if you would donate to the Naked World Domination Quest, because honestly, you'll all be happier when I'm in charge... but baby steps...

How have I blogged 5 years and this is my first paradise?

So I've been taking Fridays off this month—I had so much vacation accumulated I was losing it and said NO WAY. This is NOT the way to go, so there you have it... and THIS week, I also had MONDAY off because of the holiday (Memorial day, to any of you not in the states)

Well for STARTERS on my 4-day weekend, I got almost 16,000 words written, so THAT was a bonus, and I felt good—enough sleep, enough down time.

And then on Tuesday, low and behold... I got WORK done at work! Wednesday, too. See, I think Americans are expected to work so many hours that you just can't POSSIBLY be productive all of them. But if we had less time we had to be there, we could be productive for all of them. So employers should like this TOO.

Rested productive employees, reduced stress-related diseases, well-rounded people because they have time for a life (or second career, whatever)...

Who's with me!?


In Other News.

I spent much of yesterday twitterpated. I can't tell you why or I'd have to kill you, but I am really hoping it is good news. It's NEARLY good news in ANY case.


In Other OTHER News

BuNoWriMo: 3 days away!!!!

Anybody want to volunteer to clean my desk? After my MONTHS AND MONTHS on one project, it looks a bit like a typhoon.

if you look at the word 'sale' too long, it looks wrong, dunnit? 

And FINALLY: Best Idea EVER!!!

You know, I am really BAD at this whole wonky timing of sales and promo thing. When I do it right, it is totally a FLUKE, but timing that Good PW Review to lead into FREE and SALE? Seriously... I've not only given away more than 500 of the first book (as of last night—more than 250 a day for the free days), I have also SOLD about a third of my TOTAL sales ever in 2 days. Is it going to make me rich? Not even a little bit. For what I've made this month I can buy a seriously less cheap than normal but not good bottle of wine... But people are READING MY BOOK!!!

If you get a good prestigious review and have the authority to have a sale about it, I strongly recommend it—sharing the celebration by giving people a change to share what you are celebrating? Seriously.

Naked Thursday!!!

It has been WAY too long since we've had a Naked Thursday around here, but you know what? It is the LAST day I have to work before we ease on into the post-memorial day SUMMER feeling, so I think we just ought to be NAKED!

What do I MEAN by Naked?

You just thought I was taking my clothes off, didn't you? Well I AM, but that's just the START. See, NAKED is an ATTITUDE. It is shedding all those false fronts and just being YOU, no layers of deception, no purchased false fronts, no status symbols. Just YOU, out there loving the world and life. (or not—Naked can be vulnerable, too—scary and revealing the BAD)--Wherever you are, that's okay. Just embrace it. Own it. And put it out there.

Be NAKED.

The Benefits?

Well there is no itchy, course false front... No BINDING discomfort.
You know the people who love you, love YOU and not some false you they think you are.
No need for matching or sorting. No WORRY about accessorizing.

NAKED goes with EVERYTHING!


The RISKS?

Well when there is more of you exposed, there are more scrapes and bug bites.
Sometimes it can be awkward...


All in All I think you can SEE the way to go, but if you NEED to test it out... start with Thursdays...

The Breaks of Breaks, and Helping Host IWSG!!!

I know, can you imagine Our Fearless leader ALEX entrusting such a thing to a nut like me? But he DID!!!

So WELCOME Insecure Sweetie Pies!!! The Insecure Writer’s Support Group WELCOMES you and The Watery Tart, oh silliest of Digressionists welcomes you, too!

Please, if you have time, visit fellow monthly hosts, Chemist Ken, Candilynn Fite, Terri Rochenski , Eva Solar, and Clare Dugmore, and of course Alex The Super Ninja.

April is a wonky month because MOST of us are blogging A to Z. In fact this is the first year I have missed it since it began, but between CRAZY day job deadlines and being behind of a writing project I really want to get done, I just decided it wasn’t fair to sign up, as I wouldn’t have time to get around…. And you KNOW how I like to get around *shifty*


My Current Insecurity though, is NOT unrelated. I have had a day job promotion this year and have had to take a fair number of breaks. Not huge breaks… more baby breaks… like cutting back to blogging twice a week. But I notice when I’m not around as much, people don’t show up as much. I try not to take it personally. I KNOW people can’t be expected to show up when I might not even BE HERE (though I really do blog a few times a week still)… but when I take REAL BREAKS, my blog traffic takes a hit and then doesn’t bounce back…

Anybody have any advice on how to bounce back? How to get the excitement going again? Because I could sure use it!

Best of luck to any of you doing A to Z this month!  Here are some of my favorite B things for Encouragement:

I could use a Bahama vacation about now...

Or at least a beer (only microbrews need apply)

No Tart list is complete without a man-butt

And if you want to keep up around here, my plan is just once a week through April, but part of it is tied to an author process and promotion thing... stop in next Monday and get the scoop...

And NOW, go visit some insecure friends!!!

My Writing Life By Genre (An Insecure Post)

Halo, fine Insecure Friends (and guests of the Insecurity movement). As you may have guessed, it is first Wednesday, and therefore Insecure Writer's Support Group. Since I am feeling a it overwhelmed and out of sorts, I thought I would try on my writing life in different genres today and see how it goes...

Tragedy

Girl yearns to write but is forced to toil in advertising. Loses belief in self, so works endlessly at second career. Ironically learns she has writing talent and adds that to what she is working on. And then the second career takes over her life completely, leaving her with no time at all and a broken heart.


Action

Girl kidnapped by evil corporate forces! Rescued, but forced into army of do-gooders. While she believes in the cause and fights real battles, she yearns for home. She is given ONE LAST very large mission, and then she will be free! But can she do it!?


Drama

Girl tortured by being misunderstood as a child turns to writing. It begins to blossom, but she is convinced by powerful others that it is irrational and she must pursue something practical. She briefly likes the fast-paced, wild life of advertising, but refuses to give up her soul and so is banished. She Works for YEARS, slaving over a hot stove to pay for a higher education to seek another practical degree, but learns she still loves writing, so for years she lives a double life, always fighting the inner turmoil of what is practical and where her passions lie.

Comedy

Goofy girl finds herself in advertising office of mean people, so she begins to write funny stories about them and is discovered and courted by a big magazine, but it is so stressful she has to start making things up and it causes great stress with the people she used to work for who start sending her obscene gifts and embarrassing her in public, but she has the last laugh as the most outrageous story of all is entirely true and makes her a fortune.


Noir

It was a dark and stormy evening when the body was dumped on my doorstep...


I tried a couple more, but I am not nearly as profound or ironic as I think I am... Pretty sure it is the action genre for me...

But you know... no matter what version of my writing life I follow, probably nobody is going to say anything quite as nice as they have about Alex Cavanaugh's CassaFire (which for a limited time is only 99 cents, so you should really go get it)

“…delivers on the promise of its predecessor, combining military action sequences and political intrigue with strong, memorable characters. Reminiscent of the action-driven stories of Robert A. Heinlein's early fiction…” - Library Journal

Alex J. Cavanaugh’s CassaFire just .99 for a limited time!
Amazon - http://tinyurl.com/qaz7kxr

Naked World Dominatrix Issues Orders

I hereby order the following:

SUN: Show up EVERY DAY for the next 3 weeks. You've made a very poor showing and you really need to make up for it.

POLAR VORTEX: You are henceforth BANISHED! Nobody likes you. And while that may not be adequate for banishment, the pain and suffering you caused in January are. There IS a young man in the Netherlands willing to host you from time to time, but other than that, you would do well to stay above the 60th parallel.

SNOW: Give it a rest already, will you, you attention hog? We get it. You are pretty and can keep us at home in our jammies all day long. But you know what? Some of us have LIVES to get to, and frankly, it's getting a little old. Especially this collusion with your buddy vortex that has kept us from just throwing you out when we got tired of you. I don't want to see you fall from the sky again for 3 weeks, at which time you may fall on a Friday and Saturday and then say your good-byes for the year. Got it?

FEBRUARY: You are ordered to move along at a normal pace. None of this wibbly wobbly taking three months in spite of having twenty-eight days stuff you normally get up to. And while we're at it, you've posed a very poor role model for March, so by the end you need to clean up your act.


So, erm... Guess you've noticed by now I'm back... I'd like to say I'm all rejuvenated, but that isn't true. Work just keeps getting larger and larger. It is AMAZING, FABULOUS work we have ahead of us. A real difference we can make. But MAN, my brain is frequently fried at the end of the day.

29 Days to Keeping Mum!!! (Seeking Blogs for a Tour)

Since I have a book promotion coming up, I need to get back to it, whatever it takes. Speaking of... I only have a couple blogs on my blog tour scheduled (Alex and Dru Ann at Dru's Book Musings) but if anyone is willing to host me, here is what I propose... CHALLENGE ME! Give me an oddball topic of your choosing and I will do my best to tie it back to my series, characters, mysteries in general... Ought to lead to at least some bendy laughter, eh? You can either leave it in the comments and I will come find you to schedule, or you can email me (so we can surprise people) (hartjohnson23@gmail.com)

I ALSO am releasing Book 7 from my serial this week (Thursday or Friday, I think) and ideally book 8 before the end of the month so I can concentrate on the Cozies in March.

Friends Don't Let Friends... Anti-blog Blogfest

Halo fine people! Today I'm participating in Gary at Klahanie's Anti-blog Blogfest... what blogfest would YOU never join? This idea tickled me. I bet we see some funny stuff today. And certainly we should get to know a little more about our bloggy friends.

You guys know me (or not)--I'm totally easy. There's not much I wouldn't do, but there ARE a couple, so here we go...

Well, maybe THIS kind of Bad Book Blogfest...

5: Bad Books Blogfest. Now I have books I don't like now and then... but those of us hoping to be a part of this business just do NOT serve ourselves well by making a big deal about that. If we are mean, it makes it more likely people will be mean back.

Ask who cut the cheese?

4: Miss Manners Blogfest: I am so lacking in propriety. I also hate being told what to do enough that participating in something where people are telling people what to do? Yeahno.

Now THIS is stylin!

3: In Style Blogfest: My husband sometimes tells me I dress like a clown. True story. My daughter has been trying to redress me since she was 9. The fact of the matter is 1: I'd really rather be naked. 2: I am EXTREMELY cheap. 3: I DON'T CARE about clothes... no. Worse than that. I resent them. 4: I don't really approve of the idea of anybody caring what people think about how they dress. I can get along with someone loving to play with fashion in their own way—some people have a sense of style and that's all fine. But KEEPING UP? No. Brand names? NEVER. Spending a lot of money at it? Not me.

Erm... yeahno.

2: Domestic Diva Blogfest. I hate cleaning. In fact I really just figure stuff just gets dirty again. I'm not much into cooking and don't garden. Laundry is the bane of my existence. This is just NOT my area of expertise. Or interest.

Say it with me: Get them OFF!

1: The Joy of Pants Blogfest: Y'all KNOW how I feel about pants, yes? Say it with me: Pants are evil! Down with Pants! So this is the very last blogfest I would ever join...


So have I offended everyone? Hopefully not. Now go check what everybody ELSE would not do for a blogfest!

[did anyone notice I counted to three like King Arthur? It is my way.]

Pondering Helicopters

So I was awakened yesterday morning to helicopters... Helicopters do something to my imagination that I can only attribute to my writing obsession...

Once upon a time I lived in Portland, and every news station in town had a helicopter. I mean... I still noticed the helicopters, but they were up there every day checking out the traffic, so it just wasn't that big a deal.

Here in Michigan it is a different story.

The local helicopters are the UM Life Flight helicopters... they are navy with the maize M on the side and always meaning they are trying to save someone's life... these cause me awe... I am moved when I see them.

Any OTHER helicopter (other than game days—game day we get the news ones from Detroit) but any OTHER day and any OTHER helicopter puts me in an apocalypse frame of mind. Oh, I know... you're all saying, that chick sees apocalypses (apocalypsi?) everywhere... and you'd be right. I also see apocalypses with power outages and when I meet those nutty super-planners with basements full of survival supplies. Or when I hear about epidemics. Or chemical warfare... pretty much that is just where my brain goes.


Of course it isn't the ONLY place my brain goes... I see murder set-ups everywhere, too. I saw a father's day ad last week in my Groupon mailing that included a Father's Day DNA kit... um... yeahno... THAT is going to result in MURDER. How can it not? The options as I see it for that gift are:

“See you bastard, you ARE my father. Pay up.”

and

“See you bastard, you're not my father. Get out of my life.”

Maybe I'm a cynic, but I just don't see that gift going well...


So I was wondering how the things all of YOU write about influence where YOUR brain goes? Do you see strange things you didn't used to see? Jump to conclusions no sane person would?

Xanthidae and X-ing it Off

This crab's name is Neville [source]

Xanthidae is a branch of the crab family...

And I'm a crab. Or rather a cancer, but I identify. They are strange and a little scary, crabs... what with the sideways motion and pinchy bits, but I think they are just misunderstood.

The zodiac gives two crabby metaphors that seem very fitting:  1)  they are crusty on the outside, but very soft inside... true. and 2) a crab will lose its arm clinging to a rock--it is that determined. But if it in fact DOES lose the arm, it is the rare creature that can grow a new one.  Those things are fitting for cancers...

Like this... only writing stuff... camping and painting? pshhhhh

X-ing it Off

What? I did X-files and Xenophile in past years, I gotta go somewhere...

But I DO love lists... and what I love about lists is they make me feel productive... you know how I feel productive?  By X-ing things off the damn list!?

Vicuña, Verbage and Verybusy

Vicuña

I know, right? They are smaller, elegant WILD llamas! They have amazing soft wool, but because they are wild and it grows slow, it is much harder to come by than llama or alpaca wool. These lovelies live in Argentina, Peru and Bolivia.


Verbage

And by verbage, I don't just mean verbs... erm... I mean WORDS. I love words. Wordplay, wordliness (though not so much wordiness), I just LOVE words. I especially love really creative uses of words... making words up or altering form creatively--verbizing nouns and adjectiving verbs...

It's just how I roll...


And for the second time this month, I must beg off the author piece... I apologize, but we had some sad family news YESTERDAY:  My father-in-law passed, not unexpectedly, but still sadly. And TODAY is my daughter's 18th birthday (I can't believe I have a child who's an adult), so I have some heavy balancing going on off screen... (tomorrow might be a little off, too)

Umbrellabird, Underwear, and Uaro

Umbrellabird

I have a confession. I had to cheat to find my animal today. I feel pretty good that it took me until U and when I looked up U animals, I decided it really was not that shocking I'd had such troubles. The options were Uakari (a South American monkey), Uguisu (a small Asian bird), and the Umbrellabird (South American). I liked the others, but the Umbrella bird looked most interesting to me, so he won.


Underwear

You DO understand that Underwear are really just small pants and I can't really condone them, yes? Say it with me: PANTS ARE EVIL! DOWN WITH PANTS!

*cough *

But there are two acceptable usages in my opinion...

These:

shexy dahlink

Oh yeah...

Or, in the MANSE, which is my home thread at ABNA, we've determined that underwear may be used THIS way:

And that's enough silliness for TODAY.

Now for my U-Author... who is a bit too shy to wear panties on her head, but she is one of my ABNA buddies:


Ia Uaro and Sydney's Song

Blurb:
Olympic fever runs high in the Australian summer of 1999 and 17-year-old Sydney has caught it. Little does she know taking a holiday job in the beehive that is the Olympics' public-transport call centre will be life altering. Shaken by her parents’ divorce, the sheltered Aussie is further plagued by abusive callers, obnoxious government agencies, constrictive office rules, and liberated friends. She is trying to negotiate these challenges as her own personal Olympics when Pete finds her. Pete, Boston's former child prodigy whose soothing voice floats across her workstation, sees through Sydney's tough outer shell. Pete knows what it takes to present a dignified front when all you want to do is howl at the moon. Treating their friendship like an art, he invests time and creative effort to pull Sydney out of her despair.

Tragedy strikes when an accident leaves Pete with a major brain injury in a Boston hospital. Their families think Sydney is too young to cope with all the complications, but she doesn't agree. After all that he has done for her, Sydney refuses to leave Pete with people who view him only as an endless chore. Deferring her university studies, alone in a foreign land facing new trials, Sydney stays at his side—even when he doesn't recognise her.

Set in Sydney and Boston where heartbreaks are juxtaposed humour and based on true story and real events, this novel with an Australian accent also shows the world that living with disabilities does not prevent a person from attaining happiness.

Tortoise, Toast Man and Talli

Look at this teeny tiny tortoise!!!

Tortoises

You know... I really identify with tortoises. Some astrology substitutes a tortoise for the crab in cancer, so maybe this is why. Tortoises go SLOW, but if you'll remember the tortoise and the hare... it is the tortoise who keeps going without getting distracted. This is a good thing. Tortoises ARE inclined to hide in their shells if they don't like what's going on, but that is sort of the way with writers, too, eh?

And then looking for images, I kept running across all these pics of this tortoise and this hippo that are best buds! Aren't they fabulous!?

Talk Talks to Toast Man (POWDERED Toast Man that is)

This is a bit of a coup on my part. Powdered Toastman is difficult to pin down (at least if you don't catch him by surprise, but I managed to get him to talk to me recently.

Tart: At what point did you learn you were a superhero? When you were a wee babe? Somewhere in the awkwardness of adolescence?

Toast: When I was about 5 and I farted cinnamon sugar.

Tart: Does being a superhero help you get chicks? By which I mean girls, because chicks in a literal sense, I'd imagine, you could just buy, and I can't help but think a superhero has no real advantage there...

Toast: I don't get any girls. Most girls aren't attracted to a guy with bread for a head unless they have a weird fetish.

Tart: And the name... Powdered Toast Man... were the other superhero names taken? Or is there something about your superpowers that makes this fitting?

Toast: You haven't seen my youtube video? If you need some powdered sugar on your toast, I will be there.

Tart: And is there a romantic counterpart to Powdered Toast Man? A Lois Lane to your Superman? Do your superhero abilities help you do anything kinky?

Toast: Why do you ask? Do you want to be Mrs. Powdered Toast Man? I can get very kinky but I've been told that this is a family show so I can't share. Stop by my house if you want to know the details.

Tart: As a representative of toast, tell me... which do you prefer to be covered in: butter, jam or peanutbutter?

Toast: Jam is too sticky. Peanut butter actually gives my skin a nice shine. Strangley enough I am allergic to butter.

Tart: I notice you made some guest appearances on Ren and Stimpy back in the day. Do they still pay you royalties when those come on the air? If so, what have you done with that income over the years?

Toast: I was actually quite drunk when I signed that contract so I screwed myself out of any royalties. Ren does give me 10% of his drug dealings though so that's good.

Tart: Do they ever talk about casting you for a movie with real people? Who would play you?

Toast: There was talk about 10 years ago about possibly doing a movie but I haven't heard any since then. I would want Dustin Diamond to play me, I'm sure he needs the work.

Tart: Do you have any embarrassing habits you'd be willing to share?

Toast: I still suck my thumb occasionally but only when I'm nervous or horny.

Well there you have it!  You saw it HERE! 


And finally... I MISS TALLI ROLAND!

*cough*

She's had a busy year, being a new mom and all, and I've had a busy year being overwhelmed, but I was glad for this chance to look in on what she's up to.

I decided to feature The Pollyanna Plan, as it came out last June, about the time I got overwhelmed, so I hadn't given it a proper perusal...

Blurb: Thirty-something Emma Beckett has always looked down on 'the glass is half full' optimists, believing it's better to be realistic than delusional. But when she loses her high-powered job and fiancé in the same week, even Emma has difficulty keeping calm and carrying on. 

With her world spinning out of control and bolstered by a challenge from her best friend, Emma makes a radical decision. From here on in, she'll behave like Pollyanna: attempting to always see the upside, no matter how dire the situation.

Can adopting a positive attitude give Emma the courage to build a new life, or is finding the good in everything a very bad idea?


(Love the sound of this! I tend to be a bit of a starry-eyed optimist, so I am all for everybody giving it a whirl)

Penguins, Play, and Pology...

I'm a little burnt out. It isn't all A to Z, though I'd be lying if I didn't confess that was part of it, so I pologize for not rounding up a P author, but all the ones I ran across had already been covered on their OTHER name day...

Precious Penguins

My buddy Stacy is an ice skating coach, so when I hear about penguins, I ALWAYS think of her. But penguins are ALSO one of the most fun exhibits at the zoo (and the polor bears! And the otters!... yes, I know that doesn't start with P) Pretty much though, the animals that play in the water are coolest because they really DO PLAY...

I mean seriously... they've set up a sledding hill...

And I LIKE PLAY!

You may have notice in my intro that that is what usually goes on around here. I mean sure... I am supposed to be a professional, but isn't the profession of WRITING to make people curious enough about us to check out our stuff? And don't I qualify as a curiosity? Anyway, I figure there are LOTS of talented, helpful people out there, and they are probably far more equipped to offer you sage advice on most topic. But I figure I am silly better than a good 90% of them, so why not work it. Lets just have fun!

So go forth and PLAY my friends!  (and again, pology for no book or author... I just didn't have it in me--need more PLAY and less work)

Owls, Out of the Ordinary, and Offutt's Oculus

Oi! OWLS!

I love owls. I don't actually SEE them very often... in fact hardly ever. But for about 7 months of the year, they accompany my walk to work in the morning as they hoot to each other. It's just such a friendly sound. It probably helps that I associate the sound with warm weather...

And when you DO see them, they're SO CUTE!

I admit it. I like this look.

Out of the Ordinary

I spent my formative years trying to pretend I fit in. I was too tall. I was somewhat shy (not one on one, so much, but in a group), my TASTES would fit better in... say Chinatown than anyplace considered 'classy'--which was all well and good in the 70s, but not so much other than that. I like bright colors, shiny things, big jewelry... my husband sometimes tells me I dress like a clown right before the book hits him in the head.

See... I just don't BUY other people's definition of 'nice'. I by FAR prefer FUN.

In college I finally embraced my inner freak. I went to a place it was 'cool to be a rebel'... in fact it was SO 'cool to be a rebel' that I rebelled from THAT by joining a sorority... rebelling against rebellion... erm... it makes sense on some level.

The fact of the matter is, I've tried on the mold, and I just don't fit. So I've embraced not even approving of the mold. It's moldy. Ick. If I had money, I'd be eccentric. As it is, I'm just a little odd.

Michael Offutt and Oculus!

Michael is one of my blogger buddies, and of all the strange things, has actually lived in my hometown (he went to college there). This is Michael's second book in the Crisis of Two Worlds series (Slipstream is first). Here is what it's all about:

Autumn has arrived in New York, and Jordan Pendragon attends his first classes as a freshman at Cornell. Born with a brilliant mathematical mind, he balances life as a research assistant with that of a student athlete.

But Jordan also has a quest. He must find the Black Tower, a monolithic edifice housing a thing that defines the very structure of the universe. Jordan believes it is buried somewhere in Antarctica under miles of prehistoric ice.


And see, I just wonder if Michael was ever tempted to yell 'Oculus Reparo' when he was editing... Probably just me...

Jaguar, Jabberwocky & Johanna

mama and baby

Jaguar

These beauties are my favorite of the big cats (though I love all of them). They seem the perfect mix of sleek and powerful. And I especially love how on the black ones, you can still see the spot pattern—that's just cool... it's like they're super secret jaguars disguised as black panthers, though of course black panther is really just a generic term for black big cats, so they really ARE black panthers... but still...



The Jabberwocky

And when I say Jabberwocky, I DO appreciate the actual poem by Lewis Carroll, but I am throwing out some appreciation for sounds in general... how you can generate emotion with nonsense, just because certain sounds carry certain connotations with them. The Jabberwocky is totally creepy and frightening, even though the actual words don't say a thing.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
  The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
  Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
  And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
  The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
  And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
  The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
  He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
  He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

Read this one first

Johanna Garth and Losing...

Johanna is one of my buddies I met on ABNA, but has become great blogger buddy, too. And if you haven't read her books... they are women's fiction, but the two that are out are Greek mythology retellings based on the Persephone/Hades story. She does a great job. I've read both and thoroughly enjoyed them!

Losing Beauty

Losing Hope

You should follow Johanna's blog, too, though she has taken April off.