I'm Not WORTHY!

Halo, fine peoples! And welcome to first Wednesday, which is the monthly meeting of the Insecure Writers Support Group.

So I've blogged a lot recently about trying to get my writing mojo back in line. And I am making progress. But there is an elephant in the room... one that knocked me off that pony to begin with. I really suck at promoting myself. Part of it is I hate it, so I have not had the discipline to make myself learn to do it.

But see a couple of my beloved writer friends have invited me into their ranks for some cross-promoting, collective projecting, building platformy, learning, doing quality stuff. But I totally feel out of my league. They a OODLES of books each. I have six and three of them are really part of one big one. I haven't published ANYTHING in 2015 because I got knocked off that pony in January and proceeded to spend the next six months with my arms over my head trying not to get kicked.

These ladies have NETWORKS and SYSTEMS and they talk about stuff that blows me away. I'm like “Wait, whut?” I've never put together a real promotion package. I don't have graphics skills so I don't all the brilliant stuff to go with promoting. I mean I have a couple buddies who've helped but I only feel like I can ask so much for free and since I've made all of about $40 with A Shot in the Light (Actually I've lost money as I paid for editing)

So where to I find the gumption to learn to do this stuff I don't really even want to know how to do but know I need to do? I really really don't want to let these ladies down but right now there is such a large pile to learn that I feel overwhelmed and can't even make myself start...

If it were you, what would you learn first? What is the single best thing you learned how to do in the pool of bizillions of things we are meant to learn?

Thanks in advance if you can help!!!

And don't forget to go visit some other insecure writers today!!!

erm... if you don't mind... AGAIN

Hallo! Happy First Wednesday annallat, and Welcome to the Insecure Writer's Support Group.

My name is Hart.
[Hi, Hart]
And I've been a writer for going on 8 years...

*cough*

But what I'm feeling insecure about TODAY isn't the Writing, so much as the MARKETING...

You see, two months from tomorrow I have my SECOND book coming out. And when I had my FIRST coming out, I was all, like... well sure... I've been helping people out, so now I can ask them...

But see... THIS TIME, I already ASKED, and I'm feeling guilty about doing it again.

Especially as LAST TIME my track record had been really good being all networky myself, but I've had a helluva year...

And now my day job is being all time-sucky, so even though life is better, my time availability is not...

so I'm not feeling like I've quite pulled my weight helping everybody ELSE out this time around. PLUS... y'all already HELPED ME! ACK!


All this combo guilt, insecurity waffling means I haven't done a lot... I've set up my first signing/reading at Aunt Agatha's because Robin is so AMAZING and on top of things (she really is a superstar and if you live anywhere near Ann Arbor, you should buy your mysteries from her).

I'm not even sure what it is I want to do... Though MAYBE I could get some volunteers to share cover and blurb on April 2nd, as that is the B day for A to Z??? Begonia Bribe? See? Fits, right?


Don't forget to get around to our other insecure friends today, too!!!

Nakedness Disrobed

My friend Marian shared a horoscope (of mine) with me this week and it struck me it was awfully darned accurate. The link is gone, as a new one goes up each day, but the gist of it is I am a shameless attention whore and insecurity is the reason. I DID copy the punchline:

On the other hand, if you're attracting attention, even negative attention, maybe you're already winning. It depends on what you're trying to achieve. There's no bad publicity, in some worlds.

So I thought maybe it was time for one of those confessions I'm supposed to be doing around here.

It's true. I'm a shameless attention whore and insecurity is the reason. Lemme e'splain...

My Pre-Online Life

See... I'm shy and awkward, right? I mean I was in my mid-20s before I learned boys were people, so it is worse in mixed company, but I am PAINFULLY bad at small talk. Now with my close friends I was always pretty good at just being silly—silly broke the tension--helped me contribute, even if I had no clue what to say. And I think in late high school I realized that silly went over well with people I wasn't quite as close to, too.

Man, in college I WORKED IT. Because I had LEARNED SOMETHING. The risk of being laughed at is not NEARLY AS SCARY if you are doing something FUNNY. In fact... if you are doing something funny, they are SUPPOSED to laugh at you.

I mean sure, I still had yearnings to be dark and mysterious... sexy... desirable. But it really wasn't happening.

I grew to accept this as ME in my late 20s. I worked with a friend who was just as goofy and he and I used to bounce off each other until we were laughing so hard we were crying.... it was about the time I became a mom, too, so silliness and kids are a good pairing. Why NOT embrace it?

Yes, this is the kind of thing we observed...

Enter the Online Stuff

My first forays online were related to Harry Potter. In fact for a couple YEARS I was really only online in that capacity. The variety of people was big, and I made friends of all sorts, but the tightest friendships were those where a couple people could bounce off each other in sublime silliness—have it build, get the delightful surprises. By the time I was ready for Facebook in 2007, I had honed my ability with the quip. It just felt natural.

I am NOT the first naked writer

Enter my Writing Career

Such as it is... so I was being a goofball online with friends. No harm, no foul. Right? But what the heck was I supposed to do with a BLOG to promote a BOOK and the idea of me as a WRITER? (A public figure? Me? Eeek GADS—do you KNOW the skeletons I have in my closet?) Oh, sure, I'll be all professional, I thought... for about five minutes.

Because it came back to shy awkward me and how well I talk to people if I try to limit the range of the conversation... it stresses me out and shuts me down. Why NOT fall back on all that goofiness stuff?

I mean... who DOESN'T want to be naked all the time?

Because that way if I'm laughed at... at least that's what I was going for.

Erm... and when I looked for the image up there, I googled 'naked writer'... guess who ELSE is there... Me.  So it's working... I guess.


Speaking of... recent nudity success: I am doing NaNoWriMo and my buddy Tonja, in Friday comments, said, “Hey, I listed you as a NaNo buddy. I figured that was you if naked world domination was listed as a hobby. :)”

See—no risk of your friends not finding you if you are always completely yourself and different from pretty much everybody else... But if anybody ELSE doing NaNoWriMo wants to find me, I am hartjohnson. Three more days!