Though I managed to lose a little this week (the same amount I lost last week, oddly enough) I have taken an inventory and realized I've gotten lazy on a few points and need to get back to it. I think that is the danger of any long term endeavor, this short cut here, that cheat there... followed by a noteworthy lack of negative consequences, and suddenly our vigilance is down. THEN when we have been going along like that for a bit, we suddenly realize it's all fallen apart, but so subtly that we didn't even notice.
Oh, I haven't stopped counting points, and therein lies the slippery slope. My failing is only to write down what I eat... I haven't done it all week. And I know from past experience that I can HONESTLY count points for a very long time—years even—without journaling... but I can also NOT count points without journaling, where it is IMPOSSIBLE to journal and then fail to count points... do you see how this goes?
Food journaling is where we spot the failings... a miscounting, or patterns we need to break. Counting points without the journaling is a one-day-at-a-time business and while I know that is effective for a lot of people, eating right isn't an all or nothing behavior. Journaling allows for a longer perspective—and an accounting. I think the biggest pitfall at FIRST for failing to journal is I can tell myself I banked points I haven't really banked... “Oh, I'm sure I have 10 points banked for this weekend fiesta.” When in fact I may have only banked 4. And 6 points over the course of a week isn't going to kill me, but it also isn't helping matters.
So I am determined to get back to the journaling. It will keep me honest.
I walk to and from work, which is a great base for moderate activity—about 4 ½ miles a day—but it is not a strenuous, sweaty affair. I walk at a pace that lets me read while I walk—it's probably a 20 minute mile—respectable, but not 'exercise' as I think of it. So I try, four days a week, to get up and do something a little more intense. At this time in my life, that happens to be either Power Walking or the Elliptical Machine in my basement, depending on the weather and my mood (translation: this time of year the weather would always dictate inside, but it isn't nearly as enjoyable, so I try to go out if I think I can bear it). There've been times this was a 'running' time—but now isn't it. Running is something I love when I'm sort of into that zone, but right now I am heavy enough that it is miserable on the knees, so I am not going to try to get back into it until I've lost... maybe 20 more pounds... that should about correspond with the weather being pleasant enough, too—April or so.
But back to my slippery slope... in the winter, when we turn the heat off at night, and especially if I've been staying up later than I should (which I have, because my recuperating husband hasn't been going to bed as early because he had to withdraw from classes, so I am not getting my own reminder that it is time)... Man, when you are really tired and the house is really cold, it is REALLY hard to get out of bed. Thursday I failed. I had a day LAST week I failed, but it was the morning after the ER episode, so THAT was forgivable... this was just me being a weeny.
What I've sort of failed on at this stage in my life is a reasonable 'recovery' from missing something. When I was in college the rule was 'exercise two of every three days' so if I missed, I just had to go the next two... if I knew a day would be hard, I planned for it, exercising the two days leading up to it... then again, I NEVER exercised at 5AM in college. That is strictly a function of having children (and therefore committed evenings)--plus the day job... man, I'd love to be in a position to give up the day job...
So I just plain can't let myself miss. I hate rigid rules, but there it is... no missing it. I think the BEST way to ensure that is to be a little more rigid with myself about getting to bed... a watch on the writing stack while I am in the bath ought to do the trick. I can force myself against cold OR tired, but apparently not both...