Luscious Llama Lip Lunacy

You know what really irks me? Botox. Some of us got MOCKED for big pouty lips as children and now the whole world wants them. Well suck it up. You weren't born with them! Well maybe YOU were, but many of these nuts weren't. And for my own part, I actually only got the nice full lower one. My upper one is normal. Boring, even.  These aren't them, by the way--I tried to take a picture of mine, but my paint software wouldn't let me crop the rest of my face.

Now I can TELL you the point of luscious lips... nice full lips are ultimately kissable. There is just a lot more there to work with. HWMNBMOTI has rather fullish lips... Oh, I know... it isn't suppose to be all the rage with men, but let me tell you, they totally work for me.

I mean sure—there are some exaggerated versions of men with full lips—Mick Jagger or Steven Tyler (both of whom really work for me, too, by the way, though I GET that most people think that is too much—but just LOOK at that dexterity!). But even if that's not your thing, look at THIS fine, full-lipped specimen. Don't you think that could add to the enjoyment there?

yeah... not so much...

But see, for WOMEN, we are so often sucked into what society wants and for women's mouths, somehow the norm has become this pouty, sultry, honed with apparent sucking skills thing. (And I gotta tell you—on that last part, lips make no difference—my friend with the highest skills on this matter has very thin lips—she just also happens to be vacuum powered and extremely open-minded... oh.... and she's been known to tie bows with her tongue...) But never mind...


But you know who REALLY has lovely lips? Llamas... They really sort of get three lips, don't they? That's a bonus.

She's lovely, isn't she?

And then this one wants a smooch!

So there is a little Friday lunacy. It is just how I roll. I wish you all a fabulous weekend of llama kissing!

Kryptonite

So Superman is probably my least favorite superhero... I am not really a superhero fan anyway, and he's pretty much the Mary Sue of the bunch. A little sad, really—I think he is the only writer character I can think of who makes me think, “meh.”

But several years back when my daughter was maybe in kindergarten we ended up with a Disney Rocks or Rockin' Disney, or some such silliness—a CD with mostly current (at the time) songs that just happened to be used for the various Disney programming and there was the song from Three Doors Down, Kryptonite.

You can listen to Kryptonite here (the video is odd and sad at the same time).

But what I loved about the song was that whole love and insanity crossover I got into so much for the Sad Songs Blogfest.

Here are the lyrics:

It might help that he's adorable.

I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere in sense of time
I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there's nothing I can do

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You call me strong, you call me weak
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I never let you down

You stumbled in and bumped your head
If not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I'm alive and well, will you be there holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my superhuman might
Kryptonite

{repeat x 2}

You may not believe this, but I'm Barbara Hershey

You see... this song, at its core, is about being the sane one and loving and caring for somebody... holding up somebody... as they fall apart... wondering if they'd do the same for you.

And I've been here. More than once, actually. In fact maybe that is MY Kryptonite—the draw to save hopeless cases. The undying belief that I can. I think I have an underlying need to be not just needed as a loved one, but NEEDED. Maybe underneath it is a need to be important... more than important... vital.

There has been more than once that I've really resented that I never get to be the one who falls apart.

At the same time, there is nothing more amazing than realizing you were strong enough and you did it. That a person is a full contributing happy human being because you did what had to be done.

I will leave the rest of that a little cryptic for privacy reasons (not mine), but now you have my confession.


Literary Kryptonite

You know... heroes in stories need their kryptonite, too. They need something that will force them to act outside of their self-interest—force them to do something they normally don't think they could or would, morally, ethically or spiritually.

Look at Katniss Everdeen. Prim is her Kryptonite. To save Prim she volunteers to participate in something she believes is evil, that she is sure she cannot survive. Katniss KNOWS this, too... she's already HAD to be the sane one.

I think for Harry Potter, Draco is perhaps Harry's original kryptonite. I mean he hates Snape more, and Voldemort is his deadly enemy, but it is Draco that drives Harry to be truly irrational in books 1 and 6, anyway. He's a little that way about Snape, but he rarely acts on it—only re-acts. Oh... and then there's Sirius... but that was a lesson Harry had to learn...(It's a little beautiful that Harry is Voldemort's Kryptonite)


So what about you? Do you have a personal Kryptonite? Have you thought about the true Achilles heel for your MC? What is THEIR Kryptonite?

Jackie, Jean & Joel

So instead of writing a blog post last night, I had a cocktail and shortcake with Jackie and Jean. But those are J names... and today is a J day... and our little trio is special. And yes, you may take that multiple ways. But the way I'm going to TELL you about is, THIS is my Couch to Keg team.

Regulars know the story, but I hope you'll forgive me in telling it again.

In September, two of my neighbors and I got to talking about needing some exercise and decided to take it on together. We chose the Couch to 5K program because it seemed manageable (still seems like it ought to be, but never mind), and so we started. (we really need a pic of the 3 of us)

Kevin is ALSO a farm duck. *cough*

And then, on one of our cool down walks, we saw our other neighbor Kevin. Not a single member of Kevin's family has a J in their name. But Kevin is nevertheless, a very friendly guy. He and I often talk microbrews, as we are deep appreciators of good beer.

So when we told Kevin we were the Couch to 5K team, what HE HEARD was Couch to Keg. And heck. Who were we to argue with such impeccable logic. We exercise so that we have room in our diet for a couple cocktails. That is just the honest fact of it.

We never GOT to 5K running, but we are STILL, 8 months later, walking pretty regularly. So this is a good thing. And it is a GREAT thing to have gotten closer to these two fabulous women. I adore them.


And now Joel

Joel is our dog. He got a haircut last Saturday and HOLY COW, since the last time he was low on fluff, I swear he's lost about 8 pounds (which means probably 20% of his weight). He looks so good!

Before:  18 months ago. And the fur is not ALL the extra

After--isn't he svelte?

The really big deal, though, is how much better he feels. We changed his diet last summer after a bout of Pancreatitis to home made:  brown rice, chicken and green beans. He LOVES it. But he's also lost a ton of weight. He now runs more, walks farther, dances around more, and you can really just tell. (We also give him carrots for treats--switched those years ago).  He is, we think, 9 or 10, and he seems MUCH healthier than he has since he was only 3 or 4.

Ingenuity versus Insanity

The fuzzy continuum. There aren't enough words with two 'U's in a row, are there? But never mind.

I think the world is filled with a great many stuffy people who don't understand the distinction between these two concepts (they think it is ALL insane and cling to their never-changing (WRONG) world view). And a great many MORE so afraid of being labeled with the latter that they never try to access the former in their inner self.

But you see, I think we ALL have domains of ingenuity. We all can tap something nobody else can get at that is BRILLIANT.

And if you are REALLY determined, you can try to pass off your INSANITY as INGENUITY. In fact some might even call that a business plan *cough*


You see, I figure by CALLING myself insane all the time, you will all see I have moments of lucidity and assume I'm just saying that, right? You'll assume some underlying ingenuity. You see what I'm doing there?

“Oh, no! Hart made a lot of sense last Thursday” (which I didn't, by the way—I was a full on lunatic, but Saturday I actually made some sense)--then you will argue that I fall on the ingenius side of the spectrum! I've tricked YOU into doing the work for me! Erm... or not.

But seriously, all geniuses are accused of insanity by the people holding onto the status quo.

“It's a particle.”
“It's a wave.”
“It's BOTH, depending on how you measure it.”


“Are you INSANE? It can't be BOTH?”

Ah, but fine friends... it IS. It had just not yet had the benefit of the test of time. So if you all buy into everything I say NOW, you will eventually either be seen as profits or nuts. But at least nuts have fun.

Are you willing to risk being accused of insanity in order to pursue your inner ingenuity?

Humbled

I passed a milestone on my blog yesterday that I can't ignore.

This makes me SO GLAD I only had two children

One third of a million blog hits since my counter went up in October 2009 (so it's missing about 5 months of data). Now when I search my stats, I realize a lot of people come looking for strange things. The top search term at the moment is possum. (erm... must be the possum in our garage incident... Not THIS possum, thankfully, or we'd STILL be getting them out of there.). I'm a little disappointed my top term is no longer cabana boy, but whatever. I still am humbled by the number of people who have come through. I'm honored to be considered, and sometimes even read. In fact it makes me feel a little small to think how many people are out there. Still VERY excited.

*pops champagne *

My flag counter (due left) is another huge favorite. I've had visitors from 194 countries. My most recent new FLAG is Papua New Guinea, but I LOVE that I have more than a thousand visitors each from 16 countries. It says 58% of my visitors are from the US, which means 42% aren't. I love the international feel of that.

While the plain old hit counter climbs steadily and gives me a feel for traffic, this has always been my favorite one. I knew when I started that I had friends from all over, but I didn't know if I'd GROW from all over. And in fact I've done better than that—I really get a thrill to see a flag from a place I've never even heard of--that I have to search for on a map--and realize somehow somebody from THERE made it to my blog.


And finally, I've gotten a few new followers since starting the A to Z and it is WONDERFUL! Thank you so much to those of you who've joined. I try to follow back. I try to comment back. And if an exchange goes well for not that long, I try to make someone a part of my regular routine. I've had some trouble with my blog roll of late—when I try to add people, it freaks out and won't save. I think I may have too many blogs and it needs some cleaning... or maybe I need to add a second—If I classify them—writing blogs and others, maybe—then I can cheat and get all those I want up there. But if you've been HERE and I haven't been to see YOU, PLEASE poke me. I want to return the favor. I just sometimes get tangled in the wiring and people get lost in the intentions of it. I'm not nearly as organized as some of my friends around here, so I might need a shove.

Graphics Guru

The three covers for my trilogy, posterized

Anybody who has been around here for a while has heard of my friend Joris, who does AMAZING graphic work for me. 

He and I met in 2005 on Harry Potter discussion boards (HPANA) and he was, at the time, in the Dutch equivalent of high school, so I have watched him grow from a cheeky know-it-all to a fabulous young man. He's currently working on a master's degree in history, but on the side, for the University, has worked formally with a design department making posters for various university events, and he's done... I believe 5 book covers for me, along with a few blogfest posters and buttons.

Additionally, he did the GORGEOUS cover for Marian Youngblood's book, Shasta: Critical Mass.  I mean look at that!

So anyway, Joris is now OPEN FOR BUSINESS.  He created a homepage/blog this weekend that has links to his work, so I strongly recommend, if you have a need for a poster, book cover, etc. that you give him a look and see if he might be able to meet your needs.

Joris Ammerlaan

And Joris, best of luck to you with this venture!

*Fail*

So today I have one explainer and two words of wisdom... well more than two words... but two main points of wisdom... or maybe it is two warnings. Anyway... Here goes.

Failure to Follow Instructions

So you know how I know everything? Seriously. I do. Just ask me.

And you know how this is my third year doing Blogging A to Z? So I already know HOW, right? I mean, duh. I've done this two other times.

But see... This is the first year there have been FIVE Sundays in the month. Now don't get mad at five. It's my favorite number. But it just didn't occur to me until MONDAY that there was going to have to be a SUNDAY, and it REALLY never occurred to me to go look and see that the consensus was that would be the FIRST Sunday... So I'm a day behind.

This wasn't my ONLY A to Z Fail... I, in spite of promoting it, failed to sign up until Monday, too. Ah, well... By this coming Monday, I will be caught up.

Facebook Fail

I am not talking about anybody specifically right now, so much as pinpointing a really BAD impulse. Relationships are hard. What you DO NOT want to do when something goes wrong in a relationship is put a bunch of nastiness in your Facebook status. I see people do this all the time, and it is 1) CHILDISH, 2) unproductive, 3) a serious additional obstacle to things getting better, 4) fuel for the rumor mill, 5) Makes the POSTER look worse than any slight they might have received.

Have you ever heard the saying, “When you throw a little mud, you lose a little ground.”? This is a true statement.

You know what ELSE you should never do? Argue with someone who posts something mean. If they start it, block them for a while and let it die. They are the one who looks like an idiot. If YOU started it, however unintentionally, apologize, THEN drop it.

These things can take on lives of their own and it is never good.

Fast Forward to the Book Review Example

A person ALSO should never argue with a review. I think if there is a serious question to the author in a review, it would be okay to answer, but ANY REVIEW, positive or negative... just gracefully watch it go by. I watched a poor young author friend get lambasted by a Mr. Nastiness man this week: she gave a suggested book to read to show that she had indeed researched what he was saying she was being an idiot about and now this guy is stalking her everywhere saying rotten things.

I understand her impulse to argue she was in fact accurate in her presentation, but this situation will never get anyone anywhere positive. It's impossible.

Even positive reviews... if it is on the thread, then thanking the reviewer makes OTHER reviewers think they are being monitored. It will bring out more positive and negative, but will likely squash those honest reviews that are on middle ground. If it is a friend and you'd like to thank them in private--by all means. But not publicly--those reviews are for readers, and most readers are smart enough to weed legitimate from hater stuff.


It feels funny to be advising moderation. It isn't something I normally condone. But this internet life never really disappears, so it is probably best not to air our dirty laundry here.

So there.

E-ppreciation (Elizabeth, Ellen and Emily)

So I finished my first book in October 2008. It was almost a three year effort—finally mastering that demon of 'how do you finish one of these bloody things?' (for me, the trick is knowing the ending from the beginning—if I have a destination, it is much easier to keep going—no pants for me).

I started editing, but really approached it much more like proofreading—I had no clue. The following spring/summer I started blogging and met some AMAZING people and found some wonderful resources. One of the earliest of these new friends (one FULL of resources) was Elizabeth Spann Craig.

Elizabeth

Most of you know her. I was a bit of a crazed fangirl in those early days. It seemed she was doing everything right, so I followed her around and tried to emulate what she did. (I still recommend this as a strategy to master the blogosphere—find someone like this, who is SUBLIME in how they do it, and to the degree you can, do what they do). Now I'm not as organized as Elizabeth, but because one of her strongest features is how GRACIOUS she is, we became friends.

And more than once I heard from her: 'you know, your voice would really be perfect for Cozy Mysteries'. (I'd never HEARD of cozy mysteries--I was writing suspense).  My interpretation of this, since that time, is I am usually funny, but still manage to hold a logical train of thought—to make my point.

But mysteries scared the heck out of me. They were so... TOGETHER! All the stuff had to come in the right order. All the clues had to be there. They had to be paced right. But the seed was planted.

And then the opportunity arose...

I almost clutched, but Elizabeth sent me a ton of links and a few samples of cozies and encouraged me like crazy.

You see...

Ellen Pepus, at Signature Literary Agency...

Had an opportunity for an audition for a cozy mystery series... (two, actually—she let me read both—I bypassed books and chocolate, if you can believe that, but the details of the other one spoke to me more.) Specifically, they wanted a series where the sleuth did public relations for a garden society, and was dating a reporter.

You see... my first degree was journalism. I KNEW these people from the moment I read their (very brief) set of details. I knew the differences in personalities... the drive of each—one for spin, the other for truth... And from the very beginning, the relationship between my sleuth and her BFF was crystal clear. Yin and yang. Calculated versus impulsive, but desperately needing each other to pull toward the middle. Serious versus funny. Rule follower versus rebel. But they FIT. This pairing really drove that first book.

And because you might be lost... These audition gigs come about this way:

Emily Rapoport, a FABULOUS editor at Penguin

had done her research on the market and discovered a THEME, and LOCATION likely to sell, and had suggested some characters—the MC, the sidekick (by name and occupation--baker--only), in this case, the boyfriend, a few members of the Roanoke Garden Society, and a few family members. And she asked for the first three chapters (or 50 pages)


The BIG deal here is that Ellen and Emily were both so WONDERFUL as to look at my novice audition. Emily liked what I'd done, requested a few changes, and THAT is how I got my cozy mystery contract.

And they have ALL THREE been wonderful since—Elizabeth has answered hundreds of questions, pointed me at still more resources, read drafts... and Ellen and Emily have been patient and kind, even when I REALLY goof (which I have—that is probably a good theme for G)

And that is why, in the book coming out in June, the three Es are the primary people I thank. (though I DO try to thank several more) But without these specific three, this dream would not have come true...

The Azalea Assault... coming in June...

Anyone else have a team who got you somewhere important?

Delusional Dominatrix or Dastardly Decoy?

I'm devastating, eh?

So people who've been around here before know I'm a devastatingly sexy hotness of a woman, set on naked world domination, yeah? I'm like Jessica Rabbit, only I really AM bad. I'm all mystery and intrigue, knocking men flat with just a steamy look. You should see what happens when I blow them a kiss... or even just blow. *shifty*

It's why I write these dark, traumatic books and people make sizzling noises when I walk by. Sometimes they even offer me fruit... you know... as a show of how FRESH I am. (okay, so that last might have happened almost 30 years ago and I was in Mexico--and with ojos azules en Mexico, at diez y seis anos... anything is possible)

Still DRESSED like a dominatrix

But the rest of it is true...


Other than the part where instead of LOOKING like Jessica Rabbit, I've got more in common with Miss Piggy...

You know... confident and bossy... and decidedly plumpish... Trying to dress (or undress) to the state of a much sexier woman. Pushing people around as necessary because they never seem to read my mind like I like... And even when they do, they sometimes just need a little extra incentive to do the right thing (which would be the thing I WANT done)


*sigh*

Did you know my home town was formerly Hogs Heaven?

But at least I have the Naked World Domination movement headed in the right direction. Most people are on board when they hear all that is required is getting naked and being nice to people.

And maybe, just maybe, I make more progress with all this world domination stuff because people don't even SEE ME COMING. They look and think 'meh, she HAS to be harmless' (heh.  Right.)  and I get there, crack the whip and make them dance like I like! Erm... in a nice way, of course. They like it. I promise.

I pull it off, don't I? (at least in a literal way?)

So what delusions do you cherish?


Do your looks go with your winning disposition?


Are you naked yet?  It IS Naked Thursday, after all. or Naked Thrustday, as my friend Gae says...


And on the D theme. My buddy Laura at the Daily Dodo has released a book:  100 Blogging Prompts!  You should go check that out, too.  Her C blog has all the details.

And a final DOH!  I totally forgot to be insecure yesterday... though maybe I am insecure that only a couple people signed up for our book release blogfest:  Crazy Cozy Blogfest. if you might be interested, I'd love you to give a peek at yesterday. Because I was SO EXCITED about the idea, but so few people stopped by... I think my title led them to believe it was the DAY OF the blogfest and not an invitation to join it... but it was only the invite... the actually thing of it is in June... on book release day.

Crazy Cozy Blogfest!!!

Hurry! Tell all your friends!

Special thanks to my buddy Joris Ammerlaan for our buttons

Wait. It's possible I should tell YOU first.

See... I have my first ever book release June 5th of this year. And on the SAME day, my friend and mentor, Elizabeth Spann Craig is releasing the first in a new series of hers... Both Cozy Mysteries... both tons of fun! So we thought we'd share the fun with you.


First: What the Heck IS a Cozy Mystery?

Cozy Mysteries are like Mystery-Lite—there is still a dead body (or two), still a mystery to solve, and still lots of twists and turns. But they are low on gore (murder happens off the page), low on violence (happens off the page), low on sex (though not necessarily anti-innuendo or ogling—again, just not on the page) -- the whole thing is kept very PG-- and because the sleuth is an amateur, they are also low on technical forensic or police procedural language, making them very approachable. (and far easier for a non-cop to write)

But in ADDITION, they also tend to have a lot of humor, some quirky characters, a recurring cast, and frequently there is a THEME (Elizabeth's is quilting, mine is gardening).

Now of COURSE we want to promote our new books, but because cozies are so fun, we thought we'd SHARE the fun!


Crazy Cozy Blogfest

The idea is to think of the craziest, zaniest set-up for a cozy mystery you can—this is strictly for entertainment value—we don't plan to take these ideas and actually write series (though if you think YOU want to, go for it!). But we are asking you to come up with a wacky theme, a zany sleuth, a crazy setting for your OWN Crazy Cozy Mystery idea.

Include:
1)  Sleuth (age, occupation, maybe a little family info)
2)  Sidekick (either friend or foil, but someone who always seems to be around)
3)  Setting (town, city, or other sort of place)
4)  Theme (go nuts)
5)  Twist (be as creative as you like)

Write it up in 150-250 words (so short)--for the blogfest portion anyway—we want people to be able to read a bunch of these without too much burden. Keep the traditions in mind, but we are judging on entertainment value--which we enjoy most, not how realistic it is to make a best seller. We want people to laugh.  WE want to laugh. (so consider those rules more like guidelines, really)


And then please include either our book brief descriptions, a brief word of promo, or a link for people to FIND more if they want to (all related info below).

Prizes: (yes, I said prizes! erm...not extravagant, but we wanted to give you something) Each Elizabeth and I will choose our favorite and BOTH winners will get BOTH books (signed).

We'd love help promoting the blogfest, as well. Feel free to take the button and banner and/or share the Linky Tool below. And I'm sure you will be hearing more about this over the next two months.

Quilt or Innocence
Beatrice has a lot of gossip to catch up on—especially with the Patchwork Cottage quilt shop about to close. It seems that Judith, the landlord everyone loves to hate, wants to raise the rent, despite being a quilter herself… But when Judith is found dead, the harmless gossip becomes an intricate patchwork of mischievous motives. And it’s up to Beatrice’s expert eye to decipher the pattern and catch the killer, before her life gets sewn up for good.

Elizabeth Spann Craig: Elizabeth writes the Memphis Barbeque series for Penguin/Berkley (as Riley Adams), the Southern Quilting mysteries (2012) for Penguin/NAL, and the Myrtle Clover series for Midnight Ink. She blogs daily at Mystery Writing is Murder, which was named by Writer's Digest as one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers for 2010 and 2011.

As the mother of two, Elizabeth writes on the run as she juggles duties as Girl Scout leader, referees play dates, drives carpools, and is dragged along as a hostage/chaperone on field trips.

Links:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indie Bound
Mystery Writing is Murder

The Azalea Assault
Cam Harris loves her job as public relations manager for the Roanoke Garden Society. It allows her to combine her three loves, spinning the press, showing off her favorite town, and promoting her favorite activity. She's just achieved a huge coup by enlisting Garden Delights, the country's premiere gardening magazine, to feature the exquisite garden of RGS founder, Neil Patrick. She's even managed to enlist world-famous photographer Jean-Jacques Georges. Unfortunately, Jean-Jacques is a first-rate cad—insulting the RGS members and gardening, goosing every woman in the room, and drinking like a lush. It is hardly a surprise when he turns up dead. But when Cam's brother-in-law is accused and her sister begs her to solve the crime, that is when things really get prickly.

Alyse Carlson: Alyse Carlson is the pen name for Hart Johnson who writes books from her bathtub. By day she is an academic researcher at a large midwestern university. She lives with her husband, two teenage children and two fur balls. The dust bunnies don't count. This will be her first published book.


Links:
Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indie Bound
Confessions of a Watery Tart

Blogging 'bout Butts

To anyone new around here, you may not know this, but I should let you know before I frighten you. I'm sort of a nut. My first year with the A to Z event, I began the month with the intention of blogging about lovely man-butts every day (Admirable arses, beautiful buns, etc...). It's just sort of the way I roll. I try to keep things PG, but I decided early on that the only way I had a hope in heck of sticking out in this ginormous blogosphere was to be as ME as I could be. And what DEFINES me... what I am BETTER at than most, is I'm not afraid to play. In fact I love it. And I love to encourage others to do the same. Find what you love and who you are and RUN with that.

So blogging bout butts may not be YOUR thing, but I am paying brief homage to this history today with some LOVELY shots of beautiful buns.

I've often said I could watch Nathan Fillion fold socks and be entertained, but how awesome is it when you can watch him in FIREFLY and he gets naked on top of that!?  (WIN!)

 This might be a girl butt, actually, but it is an AWESOME tattoo.

This tattoo is a little more suspect in taste, but he wears it well...

This is a promo for Naked Sunday, something I'd like to encourage everyone to take up...

Some might call him a poser, but he can pose for me any day...

And finally, last but not least...

Oh, yeah...

Hope I didn't scare anyone too badly!

Awesome Alchemy

First, I want to welcome anyone making their way here from the A to Z challenge! Thanks so much to all the great bloggers hosting, and especially originator, Lee, at Tossing it Out. Today is the first day, so if you don't know about this, there is still time to check it out.

Alchemy and Me

I first really thought about the process of Alchemy when a group of avid Harry Potter fans was discussing what we thought would happen in the 6th and 7th books of the series. Alchemy, is of course the process by which the Sorcerer's Stone is made in the first book: a stone said to be able to turn any metal to gold, and produce the elixir of life which can make the drinker immortal.


Alchemy, in brief

Disclaimer: If you want the LONG version, Wikipedia has quite the page. My version is FAR simpler and stems out of how we talked about it in those Harry Potter discussions... My memory stinks, so surely I will get some of this wrong and skip giant chunks--in fact most of it, really, but it still fits what I'm trying to say.

The ideal man through the process of alchemy

The Harry Potter version is of course a little different than the alchemical process discussed in history (legend?)--alchemy, being the PROCESS of turning base metal to gold. This process has three tiers, black, white and red and involves all four elements, each representing a season. It happens in seven tiers—and you might see in just that line how the other Harry Potter themes come up—4 elements also go with the four houses, and in fact, until we learned Ravenclaw's artifact, many of us were sure it was a WAND, because the artifacts for the other houses fit the tarot symbols for the elements: Cups, swords, and pentacle (stone of the ring).

Alchemy as a 'science' really petered out in the 16th century (probably as real science gained a little ground) but as a spiritual journey, the idea lasted longer, and it makes sense—it is about being fully rounded and in balance.

Alchemy in writing

So if the stone that starts black, has to go through white and red to reach gold, the STORY may very well have a similar process to achieve gold.

The black first draft: This has the basic ingredients—you know where it goes and and have hammered out the main thing of it.

The first step is to go through and CLARIFY—turn it white by streamlining the plot, removing the big extras, fill in plot holes, remove any confusion. Do you have the STORY JUST RIGHT?

The next step is to light it on fire (red) (not literally) by pushing at the pacing, rewording for power and sparkle... have you SAID IT ALL in the RIGHT WORDS?

And finally POLISH it to shiny gold—typos, spelling, grammar, punctuation... all those pesky details.


Now I wish I could tell you this makes a tale ACTUALLY done, but honestly, what this makes a tale is ready for feedback—you are probably going to have to do all these steps again... and again... but I love looking at each round of editing this way.

Sad Songs Blogfest

You know... I've always preferred a sort of sad song. My earliest memories of favorite songs are Sound of Silence from Simon and Garfunkle and Seasons in the Sun by Terry Jacks, which amazingly has a cover by Nirvana (win).

So when Diane at Spunk on a Stick offered up the Sad Songs Blogfest, I thought , HEY, that sounds good!

Now my idea of sad songs is probably a little irregular (which should surprise NOBODY who knows me). I am not much for whiny love lost stuff. Romance Schmomance. Poo! I am far more into LIFE gone wrong. So without further ado, and in no particular order:

Hate Me by Blue October

This song is about someone telling someone they love to hate them so that they don't have their life screwed up any further. It is the DEPTHS of self-loathing, but also the purest of love. I dare anyone who's ever loved an addict to listen to this and not cry. Killer line: “Hate me in ways, Yeah ways hard to swallow. Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you .”


Creep by Radiohead

Self Loathing at its deepest. I am too unworthy to have anything to do with you. Killer line: “I want you to notice, when I'm not around. You're so very special. I wish I was special. But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.”


Murder of One by Counting Crows

This one is about falling for someone who has already cast in their lots with someone who doesn't allow them to really live... controlling or horrible, in whatever way. I find it sad because there is someone there who wants to love her, but she can't take the leap to leave. I'm not sure this one has the killer line so much as a build—he is alternating observations with temptations for a girl he sees as completely trapped.

Joey by Concrete Blonde

Her very voice has a cry to it. This whole CD is really dark—perfect for when I'm in a dark mood. Caroline would work, too. But Joey, I find sad because it is sort of the aftermath... the couple had a lot of trouble because of his addiction stuff, she's gotten angry and left, but here she is letting him know she's not mad anymore... it's just DONE. It is like a break-up is a lot of screaming and fighting, but this is filled with both compassion and a finality. The killer line, “I know you've heard it all before, so I don't say it anymore. I just sit by and let you fight your secret war. And though I used to wonder why. I used to cry til I was dry. And sometimes I get a strange pain inside. Joey, if you're hurtin' so am I.”


Strawberry by Everclear

We're back to my addict theme. I had a few years where this was on my mind nearly all the time and this song came into my life in the midst of it. Art Alexakis is himself a recovering addict (and I've said on this blog before, I think he's the best storyteller-songwriter out there), so he sings it SO TRUE. The killer line, “Ten long years in a straight life. They fall like water. Yes, I guess I fu*^ed up again. Don't fall down now. You will never get up.”


I Believe by Chris Isaak

The only one that doesn't fall solidly into the heavy side of rock, though Chris Isaak sings with a ton of passion.  This song is beautiful irony. The narrator truly believes happiness is possible—sublime love—that it can happen. And then delivers, “But not for me, and not for you. I know you tried. I tried too. But sometimes all our dreams just don't come true.”


So that's probably enough. I know there are more. I could probably go through my CDs and find dozens, but these are the ones that come to mind.

Be sure to check out the other blogfest participants!

And I will see you all Monday for the beginning of the Crazy A to Z marathon! (see upper right corner if you need to learn more)


ANNNNND... Bloody Blogger seems to be having commenting problems--what a hassle. Just FYI--I am making my way down the middle column for the blog fest... Wish i could leave comments. Hmph.

I’m a Right Little Ray of Sunshine!

Another meme… or rather award… I know… it looks like I might lack creativity, but it is actually just that I am submerged in editing and so decided a few days of easy was better than a few days of nothin’.

This one is fun—I love answering random questions… I was given the award from Nessa at Life Love and the Pursuit of a Crawling Baby. Thank you, Nessa! And like I said, very fun questions, so here goes…

Favourite colour: Periwinkle, if we are being specific, but pretty much any shade of purple.

Favourite animal: really depends if we are talking admiration or pet. I’m a HUGE llama fan, and also love the variety of creatures that seem almost human-like in their ability to play—otters, meerkats, lemurs. And super cute ones: hedgehogs and sugar babies… Always thought my patronus would be a dolphin (I think because water seems like a safe place to me). For a pet though, I will always have cats.

Favourite number: 5. Has been since I WAS 5. Also a big fan of 23 (having a birthday on the 23rd and all. Note 2+3=5.

Favorite non-alcoholic drink: Really cold water. Is that weird? I drink a ton of it.

Facebook or Twitter: Facebook. I have a theory about Twitter that involves crack. I mean… I’m THERE, but I really don’t quite get it. Whereas I LUUUUUUURVE Facebook.

My passion: The writing. Definitely the writing. And PLAY. And that rocking place where they overlap.

Getting or giving presents: I know the politically correct answer here, but that isn’t me. I like getting them. Giving is something I really enjoy when I absolutely get it right, but I have a really hard time nailing that. I’m not sure if I don’t pay enough attention or what, but I have a lot of anxiety about giving. Whereas I appreciate pretty much anything.

Favourite pattern: Paisley? Polka dot? Something with whimsy, anyway. But not clowns. Something decorated in clown would scare me..

Favourite day of the week: Thursday. It’s all about anticipation. I love weekends, but I love to anticipate them more than the actual experience of it. Besides, Thursday was the first day to truly commit to being naked.

Favourite flower: Probably lilac because when the lilacs bloom they are PRETTY, they SMELL fabulous, and they never lie that spring is truly here (unlike those dastardly hyacinths).


So there you have it... Don't forget it is naked Thursday, so behave appropriately!

Lucky 7 Meme

I wasn’t specifically tagged on this, but I have been generally tagged—blogs I’ve read inviting all to participate… that is how I’m going to go about it, too—any of you who read are invited… but here is the idea.

So, for Lucky Sevens you have to :

1 -Go to page 77 of your current MS
2 - Go to line 7
3 -Copy down the next seven lines –sentences or paragraphs – and post them as they’re written . No cheating.
4 -Tag 7 authors
5 -Let them know

Here's the 777 excerpt from CHRYSANTHEMUM CAMPAIGN

“No. I doubt that, too.”

“Okay, can you stop being so cryptic? Is it the whole Roanoke Garden Society or something?” Cam asked.

“Not all of it.”

“Drat!” Cam sat back and took a larger sip of margarita, then regretted it as brain freeze set in. “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” She held her forehead and tried to massage the roof of her mouth with her tongue, but it took a minute.

Rob set a printed copy of the list on the table and Cam could see a couple highlighted names. Neil Patrick was one. Alden Schulz was another.

“Damn!” Annie said.

“He could hardly murder someone if he was kidnapped!” Cam said.


So there you have it… my little teaser… Anyone who wants to is invited to play… Because I'm a rebel that way...

Youthful Rebellion.

It's TMI Tuesday...

So the latest CD in the car that all three drivers agree on is Airborne Toxic Event, and it has got me thinking... Well to start, maybe I should give you the lyrics

Airborn Toxic Event

from: The Kids Are Ready to Die

...
but punks like us we were always receiving instruction
and you could burn our cloths you could wash out the ink and the dye
but you can't look me in the eye and say you don't feel like a little destruction
and the kids are lining up on the wall and they're ready to die
...

and from: It Doesn't Mean a Thing

…
Now my dad says fuck the details
Just keep your head down hard
Ya got to find yourself alone before you'll find the eyes of God
You make broke and scared and out of jail
Out the flesh of your own heartstrings
But you were born to be a peasant not a king
So just stop acting like your running from something
Ya gonna leave the way you came without a thing
With your heart tattooed and your mind tied to a string
…


This all reminded me a little of The Living End, an Australian band I got very into because of one of my Aussie friends. Songs like Prisoner of Society...

And THAT got me thinking about punk... Punk was a rebel movement—labor class kids in England when labor JOBS had all but died... when hope was hard to come by. And so the music rebelled.


Which in the roundabout way things go in my head, got me thinking of rebellion in general. And rebellion of youth, specifically... and the eras in which youth rebelling have been so enormously prominent.

You see them across the world. And sometimes they are squashed (China, in Tiananmen Square), but sometimes they triumph. What I am most familiar with though, is US history.

I'm not sure we had rebellious youth en masse until the 50s. And I believe, though I have only really studied via pop culture, that part of what led to that was the relative comfort of the middle class... there was CRAVING for that among poorer kids, and TIME on their hands never seen before among the privileged... time to take up a cause maybe they didn't NEED. There were the greasers because that was the option... and the greasers because that was the culture... because THAT seemed to be the road to the future (independence, forward momentum).

This happened again in the late 60s with the peace, love, drugs stuff. This particular movement was actually not unrelated to the availability of birth control (free love being freed of permanent consequences and all), but was also related to the civil rights movement (a belief all people deserved representation) and protest against a war the young were fighting on behalf of the decision makers.

And then somewhere in there, young people lost the purpose of their rebellion. Rebellion became an individual or small group activity. Substance use (which admittedly always was a part) or clothes, but nothing meaningful or ideological. I mean the bigger movements weren't gone—I remember marching against Apartheid in college. But it didn't ever take on the entire young population again. WHY?

I have some theories:

1) The consumer age. During the Reagan Administration credit got cheaper and was given freely, even to college students (I was offered my first charge card in high school—just a Bon Marche card, but I have a suspicion I was the first generation who got it. Then in college, as a junior with no income, I was offered a Visa. Sure, it was only a $500 limit, but ALSO... debt with no income!? GADS!

What this really meant though, was an ease of the pang of want. People are less dissatisfied if they can buy their toys.

2) End of the draft. If the armed services are all voluntary, then the MASSES of young people no longer have to yell and scream when people are sent to war. I mean HECK, they signed on for it.

3) War funded on credit, starting with Reagan, instead of the entire population having to tighten their belts to pay for war we just charge it. This means that the population broadly barely notices. Now while there wasn't a major war between the Vietnam war and the first Iraq one, believe me, there was a heavy stream of military activity: Nicaragua, El Salvador... plus that bloody cold war that cost so much.


So with 30 years of nothing to do because we've been sedated with stuff and asked to give up nothing, we are out of practice. And worse, our kids have never SEEN protest. So at this time when they really should be fired up and fighting for their future, they are largely MIA. I find this sad.

I also hold the opinion that anybody who has never rebelled against something lacks critical thinking skills. If life falls into line, it means either lack of exposure to varied opinions, or lack of engagement in mental activity. Because everybody encounters something they disagree with at their core that comes from someone in authority--a parent, an education system, a religious institution, a government.  Both lack of exposure and lack of evaluation are dangerous, so I hope any children you have rebel at some point against SOMETHING. (that is a blessing, not a curse)