Insecure Much?

Hallo fine people, and welcome to first Wednesday and the Insecure Writer's Support Group. This blog is officially a re-first... what do I mean by that? The first second blog within a week in many many moons.

But enough about that. Welcome to the support group and welcome to writing life 2018, which will hopefully be a significant improvement on writing life 2017 or writing life 2016. Because here is the thing. I haven't finished a new book since 2015.

Yeah. If that isn't something to feel insecure about, I'm not sure what is. I have some 20 finished books under my belt, but somehow things unraveled for me in 2015 and I haven't been able to find it again.

Somehow. I actually know how. My worklife threw me a giant turd and I spent the next 18 months trying to find my place again so I wouldn't end up fire. This left me a big pile of emotional goo when I got home and my several attempts to get going again went amiss.

The good news: I have found that spot so my nerves are no longer shot and my creativity has peeked in on me now and then. In November, while I didn't “win” or finish a book, I DID write 43,000 words. Better than an ordinary month, if not WriMo speed.

I also made a deal with a neighbor, though I need to check in with her again, to hold each other accountable in the new year.

But BEST... as I slept in yesterday (my last day off of 12 days) a good plot unfolded. When I got up I wrote a timeline and thought through some characters and actually started writing.

My intention is to put in at least an hour five days a week. I may have some more intense periods, but that feels sustainable to me. I'm not worrying at this point about publishing and how it fits with my other stuff, as I haven't had much luck selling my other stuff. It is just time to remind myself I love to write and that if I stick to it, I can finish.

What about the rest of you? How are you feeling on writing in the new year?

And please, go check in on some other insecure writers!

One Day at a Time (With Planning!)

Resolutions are easier to keep with specificity. I know that. But I am trying something different this year because my last couple years the plan has petered out relatively quickly.

I did do a couple things right last year. I adopted an eating plan that is totally sustainable, NOT a diet, and only gained 4 pounds over the course of a full year. Normally I have either been losing or gaining, and with this plan my entire range this year was +/- 7 pounds from my starting place. But always returned to that center. It involved mixed methods (which the statistician in me loves) so I have 3 days of no carbs in a week, 2 days of “light” (one super light, one 25% less than normal) and two days of flexibility (one “normal” and one 25% EXTRA). The idea is that it keeps the body from panicking and hoarding calories.

This year I am just adding some objectivity. I am going to track calories and “define normal” calorie wise... just a reality check that I hope may be enough to push me into loss range.

But there are several things that I've not been attending to that I need to get going on. I feel like I've been in crisis management for a few years now, just doing the next thing that needs doing because it has reached critical and failing to do the self care I know I need.

Physically I need: more sleep, regular stretching, regular strengthening, a more coherent exercise plan.

I need to write.

I need to organize.

I need to be there for my kids and husband.

It's a lot.

So I am actually only making ONE resolution. I take a bath every night as part of back pain management. This allows me to EASILY spend five minutes planning the next day's specific goals. That way I get the specificity, but also the flexibility to adjust for what is and is not working. So my resolution is to make a mini plan every night.

Anybody else?