Thursday, December 17, 2009

Four Cross-Dressed

On the fourth day of Christmas her Tartness gave to us…


Four Cross-Dressed
Three Christmas Lists
Two Tartlet Minis
And a Boy Toy on a Hay Bale


I should probably e’splain…

I’ve always gotten a good giggle out of a drag show. I like the trick of a man who is exquisitely beautiful and can nail a Bette Midler impression. But my real obsession with cross dressed men has a more complicated story…

It all started with the intersection of Monty Python and Harry Potter… (yes, really)

You SEE… when the load of Potter-crazed fans was waiting for the publication of Deathly Hallows… before it even had a name… probably as early as the BARELY OUT phase of Half Blood Prince, there was at HPANA a thread to discuss the evidence that JK Rowling was a Monty Python fan. There’s quite a lot of proof, actually.

“Bang ‘im on the counter.” HP: at Magical Menagerie about Ron’s rat. MP: Dead Parrot sketch

Cockroach Cluster.

And doesn’t Sir Codogan remind you of the Black Knight?

Anyway… in all this discussion I ran across a song… for your amusement, to the tune of the Lumberjack Song..

Hey a search turned up several options!

http://www.fictionalley.org/authors/palladias/ANFSCDTDES01a.html

http://home.att.net/~coriolan/faculty/dada.htm (go 2/3 down)

But here is the clip I saw:

I'm a Death Eater, and I'm okay.
I plot all night and I teach all day.


He's a Death Eater, and he's okay.
He plots all night and he teaches all day.


I take house points. I yell at kids.
I go to my dungeon.
On Wednesdays I'm at Hogsmeade.
Have butterbeer alone.


Since that time, I’ve taken all deatheaters for cross dressers (at least wearing pretties under their robes), but the idea has expanded as an appropriate ‘training’ for bad boys in desperate need of getting in touch with their feminine side. So HERE, I present to you four men who desperately need to spend some time in a corset and garter belt:


Gerard Butler

Oh, I know… he looks pretty darned good like this, and his impish grin is quite disarming, but the man is always so darned MACHO… I just think he could benefit from some time in a teddy at the far side of a whip, if you know what I mean…



Tom Cruise

This is a case of a man who just takes himself entirely too seriously and ought to lighten up. He’s a guy I really want in a tutu and bows, to be honest. I think he just needs to learn a little humility, and that is the kind of thing that might teach him.



Vin Diesel

Like Gerard, this is a man with some serious potential. I bet with pecks like that he could spin tassles… I’m just sayin’…


Josh Holloway

And my FAVORITE for the cross dressing treatment, but in this case because I’m ENTIRELY convinced he would know how to work it (you see… I have a friend who reminds me a little of Sawyer—hear that Phil? Naughty naughty naughty in all the right ways and a couple of wrong ones, but smarter than he lets on and his heart in the right place)


So those are the four I think desperately need to be cross dressed (unlike all those death eaters who already ARE, and I will leave you with this thought…


Because you see.... my whole theory on the matter is that stepping outside of the comfort zone a little helps us learn to PLAY, have a little FUN... maybe role play.  It also can give some creative vent to those inner demons... sort of like writing...


4 comments:

M.J. Nicholls said...

Useless trivia: "Flying Saucer Attack" by the Rezillos was also based on the Lumberjack Song.

Thing: You should add our current Prime Minister Mr. Brown to your cross-dress list. Tweak his male broodingness down a notch.

Me: I used to wear my sister's clothes when I was a pre-teen. It was pretty damn liberating. Then hair started growing and ruined the fun. Gah.

Watery Tart said...

Excellent point, Mark! I think nearly ALL politicians could use some time cross-dressed... allow them to perspective take a bit, and therefore advance cooperation! Might even be better than nudity, at least in the short run, though real world peace will only arrive when we're all naked...

*high fives sister clothes experience* Very good... surely helped in your advancement toward being a groovy human being!

Liz said...

ok, so you NEARLY crossed my line with the Gerard Butler thing---but you stayed on the Clive Owen side of the good. . . but you know my tastes run more towards the lovely dudes who would NOT look so good dressed in drag. . .and Mr. Cruise is as gay as the day is long--Hello! As for Sawyer, well, let's just say he's is the Super Bad Boy to Jack Shepard's Dr. Cool and you also know how I feel about the Bad Boys. . .
cheers Tart

Watery Tart said...

teehee--ET, my premise is they SHOULD try it! They ALL should! ESPECIALLY those testosterone pumped pea-brains! (the smart ones already KNOW!) And believe me... Sawyer knows how to play. I can tell by the look in his eyes (remember--I KNOW Sawyer)

*snickersnort* (I do get that it may require putting men that annoy you in drag for a while before you start to see the potential, and all of these but Josh DO annoy me--Josh though, can pull it off for real)