Big Newses and Small Newses!

Best of 2012

Not sure why saving this on the Mac made it green...

First, because I can hardly contain myself… (and my apologies to those already inundated with this via Facebook)  last week a friend of mine, Mark Sadler, who is one of the staff writers for Suspense Magazine  informed me that The Azalea Assault was chosen one of the best cozy mysteries of 2012!!! I’m so excited! If you go to the magazine and click on it, it will download and I am on page 40!


Medium Wrong Edits DONE

For now, anyway… I’ve sent it off to two of my FABULOUS, reliable beta readers for the ‘big feedback’ and will get back to editing it over Christmas break. In the meantime, I need to find my latest version of What Ales Me and work on THAT. The ANNOYING piece of this is I have to do version magic to get it from my old hard drive where it is in Open Office into Word when none of the computers I have at the moment likes to talk to each other that way. The one that will read the old hard drive has too OLD a version of word to convert… So I need to send it all over, convert from work… all that irritating stuff…

Best Book of the Year

I downloaded this a few months back, but only managed to get to it recently and OHMYGAWD… I will do a full review when I finish, but I am humbled and amazed to know someone who wrote such a fabulous book. So if you are looking for a read… or have someone on your Christmas list who loved The DiVinci Code (but are maybe more of a stickler for real facts to back up the story)… Helena Soister’s The Compass Master is your book.


And Lastly… Tree is up… first set of cookies baked (have an exchange at work today, so I had to do that—will tell you what and share pics FRIDAY as part of Angela Felsted’s Book release cookie exchange!)… I even got a significant dent made in my shopping…

And now I need another weekend.

Wins!

[erm... posted prematurely... always early to the party, I guess... this is THURSDAY'S blog]

Hallo, fine friends! It's Thursday and you know what that means!!! Everybody get Naked! NOW!

I thought additionally, we could throw a little Thursday party with lots of good news going around! (and there is oodles of it (or at least a few significant pieces...)

Cruella's Going Japanese!!!

Long time friend and fellow Burrower, Cruella, is finishing her Master's thesis within the month, but that's not done, so it isn't my news. BUT, she has had a couple job interviews of late... and she got a DREAM internship for someone wanting a life in international politics. She has been offered (and accepted) an Internship with the Norwegian Embassy in Tokyo, Japan!!! I am SO thrilled for her, and only a little sad that this venture to Japan will not include the teachings of Professor Wedgie.

[Digression in Cruella's honor: When she was in Japan as an exchange student she had an economics professor who talked OFTEN about wages... with his accent, it was wedgies... you can imagine about how equity of wedgies, and unhappiness with wedgies and wedgies satisfaction caused untold giggles for the semester she was in Japan the first time.]



Book Contract for Clarissa!

This one includes a groovy shout out to Karen, too. Karen Gowen hosted her series of 'lettuce' contests, remember? One of them, the Lettuce Write, asked for submissions [I think queries] for a publishing house-- 6 full manuscripts were requested and one, our very own Clarissa Draper [Clarissa Draper] has been offered a contract!

Congratulations, Clarissa!

Holliblogiversary!

You heard me. Holly Ruggiero had a Blogiversary and designed this FABULOUS little 'you were there' award for her readers, AND I LOVE IT!!!!

Tart X 2

Pucker up! My sister Tart, Jan, at Tartitude has passed on a specially designed award to MOI! YAY! I get presents at my own party! (love it when that happens!)


And FINALLY....



I WIN I WIN I WIN!!!!

Cate Gardner at Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits had a book release contest a while back and I WON package B (seems to me I got to designate which I wanted). They arrived today!

Look at this! House of Fallen Trees is a novel that looks FABULOUS by Gina Ranalli, Glass Coffin Girls is a collection of spooky short stories by Paul Jessup, The Long Way is a standalone short story by Ramsey Campbell, the flowery book is blank, and perfectly sized to carry so I never have to lose ideas to be unprepared... and then finally, a very Halloweenish book of illustrations with 51 Fiendish Ways to Leave Your Lover that include ideas ranging from rude: “Ask her mother out when you are there visiting together,” to morbid: “shoot yourself at his wedding as they say, “I do,” screaming, “I did.” Some are pretty funny: “buying wax lips and lipstick and making kiss marks on your underwear.” Pretty darned amuzing, and as Mr. Tart is still being Underpants, I probably get more chuckle than I should...

Say... somebody else is curious...

This cracked me up. I had no idea the cat preferred certain genres... Apparently she likes horror. Who know!

Alphabetical Assembly

So this is a wild hair and a little nutso and all but I thought... since I am blogging every day in October, that maybe I'd do the alphabetic thing that I first saw from arleebird last April. I figure with yesterday's tribute and my guest post, the leftover days are about right for the alphabet, so hey, why not...

Ass Acquisition

While I'd PREFER not to do this, it seems to be the state of things... I can't resist eating... the size of my back side grows... I think we should all hold a moment of silence for the ass ascension that we'd like to occur....

*cough *


Appetite

Not in control, or the ass problem would recede.


And finally AWARDS

Now FINALLY, I have something to say!


I've received two awards this week from fabulous friends, and it is time I pass them along.

So first... from Jan, at Crazy Jane I received the Literacy Builder Award, for which I feel inadequate, but thought I'd go through my blog roll and decide who most promoted READING, so I am awarding the Literacy Builder Award to:

HA!  And I totally forgot the five favorite words part!

NAKED
BENDY
INNUENDO
CACOPHONY
MISATTRIBUTING


Kimberly Loomis at the Perpetual Writer for her dedicated focus on what we READ as well as what we write.

Jane Kennedy, at Jane's Ride for being on top of the reading world and making sure we don't forget what is important

and to...

Jenny at Suspense Your Disbelief for her dedication to the publication process.

And then the Second Award, an original, created by Leigh at That's Right [http://leightmoore.blogspot.com/] for the Strangely Irresistable Award... though I have no idea what she's talking about... but I want to pass it on to the blogs I find strangely irresistable...

Simon, at Constant Revisions because Simon, as the only Man-tart I know, and my clear TWIN in this lifetime seems to have this magnetic draw... like a mirror... with special effects...

Boonsong at Boonie's Thailand Photos for his always interesting windows to Thailand, and his always chuckle-worthy translation of what's in those windows.

And Barb and Deb at The Middle Ages for r their unflinching look at the things in life, good and bad, that make it LIFE...

So there we have Saturday...


Have a great weekend, my friends!

Walk With Me

So, I will just confess right off that the eating this week was the big giant SUCK. Between HEALTH stress, MONEY stress, JOB stress... EDITING HELL... The eating right just didn't happen. But I thought maybe I'd share with you a piece of what I did RIGHT.


Take my Saturday walk with me...

First, we step out the door and see that in Michigan, Fall has begun... pretty, yes? I like the stuff that goes so extremely—where the green and red cohabitate...

THIS is the largest Bur Oak in North America, or that is the rumor. It really is GIANT. And sort of magical.

Also in Wurster Park is a wall of yellow flowers taller than me. I like them. They make me happy. (any flowers taller than me make me happy.) After that, I walk down Cat Street (where there are lots of cats *shifty* and then I turn past Jefferson Market (of the Cupcake Fairy Fame) and turn up NUT street.

This I just liked...

And then there is EVIDENCE that it is still CONSTRUCTION (the season that falls opposite winter in Michigan... those are the ONLY two seasons...

And turn the corner to a VERY STRANGE phenomenon, which I left large so you could sort of grasp it. There is this... I'm not sure if it is a store, exactly... gallery? There is a building with WIRE art... there is a whole wire PERSON on a bench... wire HEADS atop a... I'm not sure what it is, but it might be an electrical access something or other—a big metal box next to the sidewalk... with WIRE HEADS ON IT... but since I was partially photographing bugs, I took one of the wall of wire insects... Freaky, eh? Freakier even than a WHOLE CITY willing to install fairy doors? Well... only in that the bugs are less attractive...

And there are people with the wherewithal and means to put mosaic tiles into the sidewalk so there is a permanent hopscotch... There is ALSO a sidewalk with beautiful inlaid blue glass... I think this comes about because when the city requires you to replace sidewalk, they let YOU shop around for the contractor, so if cost doesn't matter, then why NOT do something whimsical...



AND THEN WE REACH THE INNUENDO FEST... FOR REALS...

I arrive at Hiscock... follow it a ways...

Pass the pretty, new little townhouses that play host to a woodchuck family (wish they'd been out—they're very cute)

And what do you know... Hiscock reaches SUMMIT...

But when it crosses Summit, it becomes Wildt.

Did you CATCH THAT... I follow Hiscock to Summit, but after that it becomes Wildt... yeah, somebody is innuendo happy... I think Hiscock is a name. I think SUMMIT was probably honestly named... but Wildt, I am pretty darned sure was somebody's idea of a good joke...

I think I will save the rest of the walk for next week, as that is a lot of pictures already, and it is hard to surpass the innuendo climax I just covered, ne?

A STONING, A STONING!

Everybody get your fake beards! It's a Stoning!!!! SQUEEEEEE! I mean *lowers voice* squeeeee.

Who is being stoned?! Why ME of course!!!

RaShelle Workman has passed on the Award created by Alex Cavanaugh to support his book release! ALEX will be my guest, in just about a months time, but in the MEANTIME, here is his CassaStar BOOK TRAILER! (because I'm groovy that way)

Now this AWARD is what it is because Alex loves music as much as he loves movies, which is to say A LOT, and he passed it to RaShelle because she is FABULOUS. And RaShelle passed it to ME, because I am NAKED!

So now that I HAVE all this POWER! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*cough*

Erm... Now that I've been passed this award, I want to do the Tart thing and SPREAD THE LOVE!!!!

So I am passing the YOU ROCK Award (I'd love to pass it to all of you, but Alex was excited about a more organic sprawl, so like he and RaShelle, I am limiting the pass on...) to:

*drum roll*

Jenny at Old Kitty for being a SUPERSTAR commenter, and fabulous blogger (and Charlie really needs a diamond collar)

Lisa at That's Why for telling it like it is.

And for similar reasons, Deb and Barbara at The Middle Ages

Charmaine at Wagging Tales because everytime she posts a 'how to' on writing, I want to book mark it. Somehow the way she puts it speaks to me and gets across things I hadn't previously grasped.

Leigh at That's Write for being my newest blogging BFF and sharing many great convos ranging from writing to philosophy.


***

FYI, it is Mr. Tart's Birthday... he doesn't LIKE birthdays , but there it is...

And some less fun news...

Work is swamped. Home is swamped. Children are home, husband is crabby. I have been behind on commenting since Monday, and it will AT LEAST continue today, as I have a deadline. I apologize for my absence, but If you want to think of me, it is as easy as GETTING NAKED! I promise to be better as soon as I get this deadline behind me!

People Are Strange

And by people, I mean... well me. Though technically I am usually only one person. I am only PEOPLE on Thursdays. But yesterday, I got a FABULOUS Award from Simon Larter (who is quite strange, as HE clearly earned the award himself). Simon is obviously quite mad... the good kind of mad. He is sometimes hysterically funny, sometimes the epitome of snark. So what IS this strangeness award?

Text plagiarized from Simon: See, this is part of a contest being run by Cate Gardner, whose book of short stories, Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits[http://www.strangemeninpinstripesuits.com/], is forthcoming from Strange Publications[http://strangepublications.blogspot.com/]. To enter, all one does is pass along the award to other strange types and let Cate know about it to be entered for one of two prize packages (rules here).

Obviously, instead of being a man in a pinstriped suit, I will be a woman with a pinstriped tattoo, but I will accessorize so as to be a woman dressed as a man dressed as a woman... 


And so I went delving through my favorite blogs to determine which could be determined truly STRANGE... and so with much prancing about naked, I pass on the Strange Blog Award to:


Blog O' Cheese: Abe is a first grade teacher, which would make pretty much ANYBODY strange, but as evidenced by such blogs as the Pooping Bandit, he truly has embraced the ideology.

Boonsong Somboon's Thailand Photos: Boonsong has a delightful tone to his description that lets you know he means something completely different... talking about how lucky his wife is by describing the things she has to put up with. I am learning a TON about Thailand, but the STRANGE is something you may have to aesthetically absorb... maybe it is the house gecko, or the yard cows... I just love his perspective. It's STRANGE!


Falen Formulates Fiction: Sarah is pretty amusing and clearly a little zany, but the strangeness comes in when Yvie takes over. Yvie is a NUT! (and a dog) and I love her excitement and Friday words. Also love the critter strangeness.

The Giraffability Of Digressions: Mari has truly beautiful observation skills that can make even the most mundane observations into hysterical stories. I particularly love her word-smithery—very creative. To her credits are Hing, Ne, Giraffability, and the religion of Digressionism.


Procrastion Princess: Tara is wacky and bizarre. She would have us believe it is because she is Welsh, and having Welsh blood myself, I am willing to buy that, but the idea that a whole (near) country (former country?)... how do you classify Wales, when it is part of Britain? Anyway, all you need to do is check out Tara's Taff stuff to know how strange SHE is.

Quiddity Of Delusion: Mark writes speculative fiction, which probably is an adequate synonym for strangeness without further explanation. I love Mark's humor, and I particularly love his strange take on nearly everything.

Random Thoughts From a Beer Wench:  ET is strange in a little different way than most of these... it's like taking a hit of speed and diving into beer... literally... her energy jumps off the page at you (she actually has TWO blogs, and the erotica one is also fabulous, but a little more serious on the writing front)... The beer stuff is nearly always a little trippy.



You know I DID observe that I seem to have known the MAJORITY of these strange people for quite some time... I think we are drawn to each other.




On a few other notes:

I saw some FABULOUS blogs this week... they don't really fit with the STRANGE theme, but they still need to be recommended:

Elizabeth shared a link this week on how to write better and it is GREAT: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2010/07/janet-fitchs-10-rules-for-writers.html

Not Hannah had a truly moving post this week on facing one of life's truly difficult moments: http://www.imnothannah.com/2010/08/tom-delay-can-kiss-it.html



And just to let you know... I am SORELY behind on typing, so this weekend I am going to take a break... I will be back Monday. Have a FABULOUS weekend!

Dog (Cat) Blog (Awards)

First I need to remind you IT'S THURSDAY!!! WAHOO!

And so what we really need on a Thursday is ALWAYS a little nakedness and a little delusion, but I also have gotten a couple blog awards recently and want to be sure to pass them off before they get completely lost in the abyss of my mind.


Things I Say to My Pets that I would be MORTIFIED if anybody knew...


Meow? Who says that?


Puddy tat need a drinky winky?

Do you have to go puppy potty?  Are you Mr. Puppy Potty?

Who's a good boy?  He's so NICE!

Hey da pooder doodikins!
(or the variation) Hoo da doo pooder doody

Look adatummy!

The Joel Song (we sing this on walks)
Joel Bowl, Billy Billy Bowl, Billy Billy Bowl Joel Joel
Joel Bowl, Billy Billy Bowl, Billy Billy Bowl Joel Joel
Once there was a silly willy dog, and his name was Joel B Bowl
He was such a silly nilly dog, and we called him Joel B Bowl
Joel Bowl, Billy Billy Bowl, Billy Billy Bowl Joel Joel

Everybody need their tummy rubbed!

Everybody likes their butt scratched!

Oooooh!  Mister itchy bottom!  Does that feel good?


So there you have it.  If you tell anybody, I might have to kill you.



And On to BLOG AWARDS! WAHOO!

Before I dive in, I want to give a disclaimer... while every award I GIVE is deserve, there are surely dozens I SHOULD give, that because I do things last minute, I have neglected... so I apologize for flying by the seat of my pantslessness, because worthy blogs will surely be forgotten.

The first one I got was from Mari. The Sugar Doll Award is for blogs (bloggers) who just cheer us up. Mari also broke the all-girl tradition and I LOVE that (always like a man in drag) So I would like to award it to:

Sugar
Erica
Alex
Jessica
Ezmirelda
B. Miller who would surely find this too girly, except that I am also awarding it to Alex.

Still... all these people cheer me up, between regular commenting and just being fabulous!

The next award, called the Awesomous Maximus, was given by Will.

And I would like to award it to:

 Karen Gowan. Karen is doing it all—sometimes funny and personal, sometimes helpful, sometimes promoting OTHER bloggers—and she is totally successful at it!

Natasha/Rayna It always feels just a little like nepotism to give Natasha an award (being my fellow Burrower and all), but she also has the varied content, is extremely interesting, and offers a perspective a lot of us don't get elsewhere.

Jan O'Hara who manages the UNIQUE trick of being useful and funny at the same time! Most of us have to pick our poison on any given day. Not Jan. She does it all.

Simon Larter I just discovered Simon recently, but I think maybe he is another of my twins, though of course I maintain my stake as the EVIL twin. But between digressions, bizarre behavior and good beer, I'm pretty darned sure he would be a fine asset to the Naked World Domination movement.

The third blog award is called The Versatile Blogger, and has a few rules that come with it:

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award. Thank you Ezmirelda!

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

*  I speak slowly
*  Contradictions please me. I like any evidence that life is complicated.
*  I first became a nudist at age 2 (I didn't like wet pants, so I just removed them)
*  I was once a gymnast (it's why I'm so bendy)
*  I've been known to cry at commercials
*  I secretly watch soap operas (the ABC ones via YouTube)
*  I got the best toys award in my Freshman Dormitory (I think the Crisco Twister pushed me into top spot, though frozen hotwheels definitely get an honorable mention)

3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic for whatever reason! (though I think I'd feel funny choosing a full 15 and not choosing everyone...)


Falen (especially Friday when we hear first from the dogs and then get FABULOUS made up words!)
Cheese Boy
Talli Roland
Creepy Query Girl
Killer Characters
Elizabeth Mueller
Will-Fatherhood and Other Common Terrors
Ted Cross
Charmaine-Wagging Tales


4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

And then one (probably of many) that I was negligent on last time I did this. Journey Support is from Erica: The support award—and I would LOVE to give this to ALL of you, but I am going to award it to the early batch—people who I found early who helped me get my bearings and are STILL around and supportive.

Elizabeth
Jan Morrison
Natasha
Mari
Helen


So there we have it... Thank you to all the awarders, thank you to everyone who has been FABULOUS, and I'm sorry to people I KNOW I have forgotten!

Naked Award Ceremony

So I'm way lame.  I've gotten a bunch of awards, and sometimes I've passed them on, but far more often I put them on a mental list to pass on later... to add to my blog layout later... but y'all KNOW how reliable my mental lists are (pfffftttt)... so I am TRYING to do some catching up today... acknowledging and passing on some awards...

I have FINALLY put my awards in a handy little photo album (at the bottom of the page) and I am passing them on! To make it Tart-like, not just another awards ceremony, I've brought in naked singers (above) to create a little ambiance and have a Naked MC, because... you know how I am...

Awesomesauce was awarded by Mel at Writings, Musings and Other Such Nonsense though in my head is the idea that maybe B. Miller also passed on such a thing... (remember... nothin' in my noggin)

I would like to award it in turn to:  Jan at Tartitude  Fellow Tart, Jan never fails to entertain, and oddly enough, usually informs, or at least makes me think.

The Most Excellent Blogger Award is from Jessica at The Alliterative Allomorph

To Roland at Writing in the Crosshairs Roland has a great mix of writing, networking and informative, and I always get sucked in over there.

And Elizabeth at Mystery Writing is Murder because she is doing ALL this stuff right...

TheSunshine Award was given by my Thursday twin Natasha/Rayna at Coffee Rings Everywhere

I'd like to pass it on to:

I'm Not Hannah  not because she is always perky, but because she always sheds some light--lays it out there to look at honestly, sometimes on hard topics, and I always come out of it feeling like there is hope.

And to Kierah Jane Reilly because she always makes me smile.

Cherry on Top Awarded by Raquel Byrnes at Edge of Your Seat Romance

I'd like to pass it on to:Natasha at Coffee Rings Everywhere.  My Thursday Twin she may be, but she offers insight into a part of the world few of us know, and there is always a lot of heart in what she presents.






And then the next several, I've been given more than once, so I am just going to pass them forward...

I'd like to pass the Kreativ Blogger Award to:

Helena at Becoming Layla

I'd like to pass Circle of Friends to:

Now this one, I'd like to pass on to ALL of you--it is hard to narrow a list... but I decided I must, so I limited it to people I've MET through blogging, that then the friendship has gone another step.

Elizabeth at Mystery Writing is Murder
B. at B. Miller Fiction
Jessica at The Alliterative Allomorph
and Jan at Crazy Jane




And then from Mel, I was tagged in one of these blog games...

If I were a: MONTH
I would be June.  Yes, my birthday is then, but it is more about thunderstorms and the weather being a comfortable temperature, but behaving so dramatically.  That's me... drama in a comfort zone...

If I were a: DAY
I would be Thursday. A little of this (okay, maybe more than a little) is delusional Thursday, but most of it is because I LOVE anticipation.  I actually prefer anticipation to the actual event much of the time… the JOURNEY, not the BEING there… Oh, yeah.  I’m all over Thursday.

If I were a: TIME OF DAY
Dusk.  The time of day when I can put away my obligations and write alone or relax with friends.

If I were a: SEASON
Totally SUMMER.  Hot and a little too much, if you know what I mean *snort*.  Seriously though, this is when you can be immersed in the water, or lounge lazily in the sun.  Bright daytimes and sultry nights.  That’s me.

If I were a: PLANET
Jupiter.  Jupiter rules LUCK which I like, but it is the biggest, and on the extravagant side, and I like that Io is covered in mice.

If I were a: DIRECTION
I would be West.   This is an identity thing that I can’t quite explain, possibly related to rebellion.

If I were a: TREE
I would be a weeping willow, long armed and flashy, in that lazy sort of way they have, but with cozy crooks to keep people safe when they need to get away and enough strength for plenty of play.

If I were an: ANIMAL
I would be a dolphin—smart and playful, with near human intelligence *cough*.

If I were a: MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
I would be bagpipes… a little loud and off key for some… people love ‘em or find them obnoxious, but at least they won’t forget the experience.

If I were a: FRUIT
Huckleberries… playful and tart! (excellent covered in icecream *wink*)

If I were a: FOOD
Lime chicken enchiladas… spicy, cheesy, but full of sustenance.

If I were a: COLOR
Silver.  Cheaper than that other flashy stuff, but definitely more versatile.

If I were a: BOOK
I would be Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins—a quirky heroine bent on achieving her dreams despite detractors and obstacles, a mad journey full of horny satyrs and nymphs and a lot of time bendy strangeness, all tied up with a lovely odor…

If I were a: SONG
I would be Bohemian Rhapsody:  A really GREAT tale, told melodramatically enough to be both funny and classically beautiful at the same time.

If I were a: MOVIE
I'd be the Life of Brian:  Cross-dressing, naked silliness, chock full of Innuendo, but some classical references and philosophy in there just to keep you thinking.  And it's true that I'm not the Messiah, just a naughty girl...

If I were a: FLOWER
I would be a California Poppy. A bright, cheery surprise that, before you know it, has taken over everything.

If I were a: FACIAL EXPRESSION
I would be the raised eyebrow reminding you what you said can be taken as innuendo, whether you meant it that way or not.


And finally I just want to tell you how FABULOUS you all are.  I love this big old Blogofamily--such a friendly, inclusive group.  Makes this painful slog toward publication MUCH less painful than it might otherwise be.