On the eleventh day of Christmas, her Tartness gave to us...
Eleven days vacation
Ten Books that changed me
Nine Crisco Twisters
Eight Solstice Wishes
Seven Success Secrets...
Six Writing Tasks
Five Sii---illy Songs
Three Christmas Lists
Two Tartlet Minis
And a Boy Toy on a Hay Bale
I debated eleven innuendo, but felt I'd been so naughty on the ninth day that perhaps I would overload you... I may leave you with a few Christmassy innuendo at the end anyway though... It is just too tempting, and you KNOW how I am about temptation...
BUT, awarding you eleven days vacation just seemed so much more GENEROUS... I mean, if you've been reading for any length of time, you are probably getting good at innuendo all on your own, but those pesky job... *tuts *
Seriously... I work for a FABULOUS woman. She is generous and fun—on Tuesday she took all of us (n=6) for full massages and facials... but she is a physician, faculty, and has research interests... I'm willing to bet she works 100 hours a week, and then on top of it, volunteers at a safe house (in her physician capacity, but unpaid) and has a very involved family life. There is a single thing that she seems unable to grasp. Time off.
I try to calmly explain that in fact our job description INCLUDES time off... we get both vacation and sick time and so just would have to be absent a significant amount of time to USE that—the time off we have a RIGHT to.
My own nature is to hoard time off... I like to have a pool of it available so if I needed six weeks suddenly, I could say “hey, I have it in my vacation bank”--she seems to grasp the idea that I am saving it for my book tour. But I accumulate two days a month—it adds up.
So I LOVE this week... the University gives what they call 'Season days'--four days between Christmas and New Year (plus the holidays of Christmas and New Years) so I just have this wonderful week I can count on every year and I LOVE it.
This morning I woke up at almost eleven this morning... then did my power walk and made French toast for my son and I... One last minute Christmas gift (hole noticed when I packed yesterday) and mostly I am RELAXING.
I hope all of you have some such break in your years.
And Now... Eleven Innuendos!
“That's the most impressive set of balls I've ever seen!”
“Hey baby, there's a fire needs poking...”
“Now THAT is what I call HUNG.”
“There's something else that needs unwrapping...”
“Just look how straight and tall that stands!”
“Just call me your little reindeer queen... now On Dasher, On Dancer...”
“So is that my present in there, or are you just happy to see me?”
“Oh, I don't know... I can see some advantages to the height differential of elves...”
“So Santa... I've been very naughty... maybe you should just give me a spanking...”
“Hey, baby... I've got your present on me, but you're going to have to unwrap me first.”
“Hey Santa, you ready to come down my chimney?”