Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Beautiful Bitch

For my first foray into TMI Tuesday, I thought I'd confess something to you, and then give you a little background...

This is my definition of a fabulous figure
Had I been drop-dead gorgeous—slimmer of form, better boobage, maybe a little less 'cute' and more elegant (or better yet, exotic)—I think I might have been a raging bitch.

Where do I come by this thought? Well it is a little philosophy and a little self awareness. Let me e'plain... I will start with the self-awareness bit...


My Own Personal Hedonism

I really LIKE things I like. I like good food, to be wined and dined, to have someone play music for me or write me poems. I like presents. And I particularly like to be the center of attention to as many people as possible. [um... that's not something I am supposed to admit, is it?] But, there. I said it. (I mean what OTHER sort of person would be leading a quest for World Domination? It's not like I've been leading you on as some shrinking violet—though I do LIKE violet... or any shade of purple, but never mind.)


See... aren't I grand? *shifty*
My Imbalanced Sense of Worth

You know how some people can't take a compliment? That's not me. Whenever I've had times people told me wonderful things about myself, I inevitably believe I'm deserving. Oh, sure. I might blush a little. But I don't doubt it. I think this is the only child in me. Only children have more socialization from adults than other children, and adults are often generous in telling children how clever they are. Is it my fault I believed them? And if that will to believe has followed me forward?


Now I was always a sensitive child. I don't think I would have ever been outwardly mean. When I saw people experience that, I felt bad for them. I don't like mean people and I just don't think I'd be MEAN. But as a kid I did, a couple times, stand by while my friends picked on someone else—usually we'd all participated in deciding the person deserved it—it was usually the 'take down a peg' of someone we thought was behaving stuck-up. (None of us picked on anyone 'socially downward'--which sounds bitchy in itself, but every middle school kid understands the hierarchy to some degree. We weren't the MOST popular, but a few among us (who were not me) were actually pretty close up there)



Nobody every talks about the GOOD side of peer pressure.
But the Biggie is my philosophy on NURTURE... Or more specifically, Peer Socialization

Or what I sometimes call the strange case of Sirius Black. See, for most of us, we want to be WITH people, and if we act like asses, people DON'T want to be near US. This trains us to be a little less ass-like. But BEAUTIFUL people draw us ANYWAY. We believe ourselves to be more beautiful just by rubbing up. We tolerate from them things we would not tolerate in others. And so unless they have EXTRAORDINARY parents or the very very rare case of very sweet temperament... and I shouldn't say it is so rare. I've known a few beauties who were wonderfully kind. They tended to be shy or very gregarious.

But the point is, I don't happen to believe I had one of those natures. And while my mom nurtured that 'be kind' thing, I don't think I got the 'care about others' quite as strongly just because we were such a small little cluster at home. So my peers were necessary... they never ostracized me, but the FEAR that if I behaved badly... you see what I mean...

17 comments:

Old Kitty said...

I know ugly people who are complete bitches! LOL!!!

Awww you stay as NAKEDly unique as you are, lovely Tart! Take care
x

Nicole Ducleroir said...

Great post!! Funny, as I was reading this the story of Gisele's criticism of the Patriots came on GMA. ("my husband cannot (expletive) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time." *read with a sexy, Brazilian accent*) Perfect example of a beautiful person with an obvious deficit in social filters. Ha!

Dawn Ius said...

Both of the comments I would have added to this have been taken care of by Nicole and Old Kitty :-D Thanks for the morning laugh, beautiful Hart.

Sarah Ahiers said...

Hah! I loved this post. The hook alone was awesome and hilarious

Tracy Jo said...

Lol! Great title, great picture of the cat and lion...that is me, I so think I am that lion. :-) Perfect comments by Kitty and Nicole. Have a great day!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

A mean spirit comes in all physical forms. You certainly aren't mean. You're just mischievous with a dash of snark.

Jo Schaffer said...

Hahaha! (= I loooove your candid self exposure!

vic caswell (aspiring-x) said...

heeheehee!
teen kitties tri pot!!!! :)

where was i?
oh yes!
very interesting thoughts... i'm not sure about beauty vs. perceived beauty vs. socially perceived beauty... all these things get all twisty in my head.

but with much power (as socially perceived beauty acquires) comes much responsibility (should you choose to accept it). sometimes it's easier to just not have the power. i'm glad i never had to make that decision! :)

Hart Johnson said...

Jenny-too funny. I think people can get bitter...

Nicole-*snicker*

Daw, thank you!

Sarah-yeah... on a roll, eh?

Tracy Jo- Welcome! I don't think I've seen you here before. And HA! A fellow lion!

Alex-very true!

Jo-Well TMI is a life style choice... teehee

Hart Johnson said...

Vic, you snuck in there! Yeah, there is an opportunity for some power there, eh? Defitely best not to put that in the hands of one who would rule the world.

Gina Blechman said...

But by saying you could be more beautiful, you are being humble, which means maybe you wouldn't me as much of a raging bitch as you think.

<3 Gina Blechman

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Beauty is indeed a curse often. Men and women whose appearance cause people's face to light up just by them walking into a room sometimes get a sense of entitlement. And when a day turns out not to be spectacular, they feel cheated of their due.

She warned me that there had to be more to me than a Jeff Chandler face (he was an actor from the older movies she fell in lust with as a young girl! LOL.) or when age took it from me, I would have nothing left. Or when tragedy struck, I would not have the inner strength to deal with it.

Insightful, amusing post. Thanks for visiting mine, Roland

Journaling Woman said...

I say, don't hate me because I'm beautiful. I can't help it. Ha!

Actually for me, the best way to be a friend is:
1. Don't make them
2. If I have friends only spend a little time with them. They like me better that way.

People bring out the worst in me. Is that wrong?

But, you're awesome, girlfriend!

T

Helena said...

I once did a temp job at an office where the gorgeous blonde (engaged to hockey sports star, no less), was the sweetest woman in the office while a couple of the big old plain ones were nasty hell on wheels. So sometimes at first glance ya never know what's inside the package. But me, I feel the opposite of attractive if I'm around someone beautiful. Then again, I share your desire for better boobage -- wish I knew that term when I was 13. And like you my friends help me to stay honest and good.

Nancy said...

As the bumper sticker says MEAN PEOPLE SUCK unless they are the bad guys in novels then they just add to the action. I don't think you could quite pull off bad guy status so you're good. :)

erica and christy said...

I thought of the Gisele quote, too (although I think she was just frustrated when she said it - still shouldn't have been said in public).
erica

Ciara said...

Love the picture of the lion and cat. I'd love to be that confident. :)