Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Who Your Friends Are


Man, there is nothing like a serious illness to bring people out of the woodwork. I'm feeling extremely blessed at the moment.

As most of you who hop in regularly know, HWMNBMOTI was in the hospital last week for a GI bleed. It was serious. VERY serious. He was actually there Sunday to Thursday, and you KNOW insurance dictates nobody stay any longer than absolutely necessary. I was worried and scared. And I was effectively a single mom all week on top of it, so only the very most basic things got done.

I shopped and cooked. I did a little laundry. I worked and visited my husband. But the NORMAL stuff that gets done in a week didn't get done.


But then the Help started flowing.

Jackie, my couch to keg buddy, brought by some soup and couscous salad, and then drank a glass of wine with me to let me worry and vent.

Neighbor after neighbor asked what we needed.

Caden mowed our front yard.

Jean mowed our back yard.

Last night he went for a walk and bit off more than he could chew, so Stephanie drove him home.

So to everyone who has helped--THANK YOU!  And thank you ALSO to all willing who haven't been called upon, yet.


Seriously, though—I have lost track of how many people have offered to help us out. It is humbling and heartwarming. I love where we live. My husband gets the credit for establishing most of these relationships—he is out and about, walking the dog. He meets people. He keeps an eye out for the comings and goings and is early to notice if something big happens—when the man down the street passed after YEARS of illness—when someone has a new puppy or is pregnant. I joke that he is Mrs. Kravitz, but people appreciate that someone knows what time it is on the street.

I'm the geek writing in the basement most of the time, but I'm trying to walk with him now, as he is still pretty wobbly. Apparently blood loss is something very slow to recover from. If it had been down to me, none of these people ever would have even noticed. But he is good. He knows everyone.

And that investment is coming back in spades.

So this summer, as you scrap for your writing time, don't forget that investment in real life people. Spending some time to make and maintain friendships might be something you really need one day, and you will be glad you've put in the effort.


soon, we hope, though we haven't looked for eggs
On a Side Note

Our birdies are still happily nested in the mailbox. The female is sort of used to us. She will fly off if you stop and stare, but when we come and go, she is fine and I can see her in there, nested in her little hidey hole. There is a white line at her neck when she is hunched down, so I can tell if she is there or not pretty quickly. But so long as I keep moving, I can move slowly, now and she puts up with me. She really is so cute! Hopefully we will have babies one day soon.

24 comments:

Ted Cross said...

I'm really bad at the relationship part of life. My wife tends to get to know all the people, while I hide away in my fantasy worlds. The only exception is when I click really well with someone, which rarely happens. When it does, I love spending hours and hours with them talking about things and doing things.

I hope He Who Must Not Be Named fully recovers soonest!

Charmaine Clancy said...

Sorry to hear about your hubby's hurting. With that much love and good will, he's sure to recover sooner than most.

I'd be left in the basement until the cat gets sick of my dead flesh.

Kyra Lennon said...

Blood loss is a really slow process to recover from, but if he takes it slow and steady, he will make it back to his usual self in the end!

It's great when people come together to help out, even when you don't really know them that well. It's nice to know people care!

Summertime Rose said...

I'm glad he's home and he's stopped leaking. I did the same thing a few years ago. Yep, life threatening, pyrotechnic, and such a joy to explain.
The pirate in you would call it buckets of blood.

I'm relieved he, too, now has a "happy ending". YUKYUKYUKYUK

Christine Murray said...

That must have been so worrying, Hart. I'm glad he's ok, and that people have rallied around.

Thinking of you all x

Jan Morrison said...

Mrs. Kravitz. I love her. And oddly remembered her name and what she was about as soon as I saw the pic. Like Eddy Haskell - bit players who have become eponymous with their personality traits.
I'm glad the fella is on the mend and yes it is quite good (if scary) to be reminded from time to time about what is important.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That's wonderful so many people stepped up to help you!

Old Kitty said...

Lovely Tart! Sending tons and tons of healing hugs and positive vibes to your hubby and to all of you! Yay for most NAKED neighbours!!! And also for your feathered tenants!
:-) Take care
x

Journaling Woman said...

Been there. When my husband severely injured his back, the outpouring of love and help was awesome.

As much as I like solitude, we're NOT and island. Thank goodness.

Praying for you all.

T

Hart Johnson said...

Ted-that deeper bond is sort of how I do it too. I'm far less good at small talk and I am REALLY unobservant.

Charmaine-ACK! Oh what a disturbing image! (but funny, since I know you're kidding)

Kyra-Sounds like you know from experience!

Summertime--strangely, it hadn't occurred to me to speak pirate on the matter. I'm not sure if it helps or not, but it's definitely more amusing.

Christine, thank you!

Jan-it's true--these cultural icons--they really DO come to represent just a trait or two.

Alex-it IS wonderful!

Kitty- thank you!! And yes, yay for naked neighbors!

Teresa-glad you got your help, too!

jaybird said...

I jokingly call my husband "The Mayor" because he is always out and about chatting with our neighbors, he knows everyone. Glad to hear you had so many great friends to rely on and help get you through this tough time.

Wishing your husband a speedy recovery!

Sarah Ahiers said...

I'm so glad to hear he's doing better. And yay for good neighborly support! And also yay on baby birds! We have a robin's nest that is populated every spring beneath the deck. It's nice to peak between the boards and see the little blue eggs and then later the little birds.

Becky Mahoney said...

So glad that you've got a great support system. Hope the hubby feels a bit more steady soon!

Hart Johnson said...

Jaybird-we have a neighbor who calls my husband the mayor, too--too funny.

Sarah-oh, Robin's eggs are so pretty! And thank you!

Becky, thank you to you, too!

Maurice Mitchell said...

Friends are awesome. I still remember when all our friends chipped in to help us pack up and clean our house. I still try to pay that forward and always help people move.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

It's amazing how friends will come to our rescue faster than anybody.

The birdies are in your mailbox? That's fun. We had one roost on a wreath on our front door once. Had to rope off the front porch so no one would bother them.

Johanna Garth said...

You will be so much in my thoughts this week! I missed that your husband was in the hospital. Glad you have an amazing support system to help see you through.

Helena said...

Isn't it wonderful when casual friends or neighbors or acquaintances come through in a pinch? Sounds like HWMNBN has a rare gift for making lots of friends.

Trisha said...

Baby birdies are the cutest!

I'm so glad you've had such a great community of neighbours all around you offering to help out. :)

Ella said...

This is so scary! I am glad he is okay and back home~ How terrible...
What wonderful neighbors you have and you are so right to take time out and let people know~

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Hart,

Sorry about your hubs... I have been so out of the loop lately, I didn't know.

I am glad to see you have caring friends/neighbors in you life. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT.

I always try to make new friends and be there for them. It is time consuming, but so worth it.

I hope I never need to bother anyone, but I hope to have the kind support you have had if something like this pops up in my life.

Take care .... sending a big HUG!

Michael

vbtremper said...

Apparently I was living in a hole last week and I missed your news. So sorry about your hubs and all you went through, but glad you had so much help getting through it. Community really makes all the difference, doesn't it? Hope life is returning to something like normal.

-Vicki

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

I am so glad that he is feeling better. What a nice tribute to your hubby and your neighbors and friends, Hart. You too do more than you may think to keep relationships going though, I know that you do.

This post is great reminder to get involved in real life; it is so much easier to say hi on FB or visit a friend's blog. I used to be very involved with others outside my family and work, but not so much anymore.

Kathy M.

JCS said...

I love this post. It is comforting to know we have such a great support system right in the neighborhood. I'm glad your hubby is doing better!