It's official. I'm in a thorough funk. I think there are several reasons, some of them that I have no control over whatsoever, some of which I know will pass in time... a BIG one, that will pass today, and then a couple I just need to power through.
Today is the official announcement of round 2 cuts for ABNA. If I PASS, I will officially be a Quarter-finalist. If I DON'T, I will be out. Now the folks over there are talking very bravely at the moment... it's been a great experience regardless (it has) having a finished book and entering is already a win (it's true), as long as we keep writing and keep improving, we will make it one day (this, ALSO is true). But we all are sitting there today with our jugulars exposed for the vine reviewers to give us an in or an out.
I am of two minds (which is really quite few for me)... I know my book (including the excerpt) need some work. I think it's PRETTY good, but it is not great. And besides THAT, if I am OUT, I can stop contemplating Whatifishness... but DAMMIT I want to keep going!
I have half a dozen deadlines right on top of each other at work... and it's made me come to terms with the fact I probably take too many breaks to check blogs, normally... Granted, I've cut out lunch, and such... but I probably get half my blog reading done on those work breaks—the five minutes to adjust between tasks... blog reading... but with deadlines, you CAN'T. Every minute is filled.
Compound that with a couple blogfests where I feel obliged to visit THOSE participants (hell, one of them was MY blogfest) and I haven't done my NORMAL rounds in over a week. I am committing to get back to it today. I still have busy work, but I also know fewer people post on Tuesday, so if I work from the top, I should hit all the days posts in my blog roll at some point, then tomorrow I can get to those I missed today because of schedule...
I feel a little LOST when I don't get to all your blogs regularly... and I haven't done as well following back or getting people into blogrolls. I really try to get people who stop by regularly onto my blogroll, and I KNOW I am behind, so if you could help me, I would TOTALLY appreciate it. If you stop my pretty regularly (weekly or so) and you are NOT in my blogroll, POKE ME. (you need to comment, or I don't KNOW you stop by, but I confess to being negligent on top of that... if you read me, I want to read you)
I've been managing some 750 words about 5 days a week... it's not NOTHING, but it also isn't flowing linearly. The rewrite is going to be a HUGE undertaking. And even though I am writing, it is still painful... every word is hard to get out. I am hoping when the above two mental drains recede, I will get back to it. I have no choice but to keep plugging away...
So I thought maybe you'd join me in a little Red Hot Chile Peppers Prayer. This is from near the end of Sir Psycho Sexy:
“Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the funk won't make me freak
If I should die before I waked
Allow me Lord to rock out Naked.”
Let's hope that works...