Thursday, March 24, 2011

Naughty Goldfish


Okay, so maybe it is a goldfish story and some naughty accessories, but you know... half a dozen of one... *shifty*

First up...

Second Crusader Challenge from Rach Writes




The Challenge:

Write a flash fiction story (in any format) in 100 words or less, excluding the title. Begin the story with the words, “The goldfish bowl teetered” These four words will be included in the word count.


Pretend Frank has a goldfish on his head
The goldfish bowl teetered on the stick of the man balancing on his unicycle, but Jasper wasn't afraid. Oh, it wasn't the skill of the acrobat—he was a hack, but Jasper had successfully guided some dozen acrobats to modest fame. Every one of them was famous after the month with Jasper. And every one had traded a year of his own life for the skill. What they didn't realize was that a human year is nearly eighty in goldfish years. Jasper was slated for a very long and happy future.

If only he could get back to his human form.


So there.


And THEN, Marian sent me the following... I think they're fabulous... just what a tart like me might need to give in and join the misery that is shopping...








teehee.

Also... theoretically, at some point today, i will find out if I made the list at Brenda Drake's blog (see Sunday blog)

And finally, it's THURSDAY!  you know what that means!


34 comments:

Deb said...

Oh it wasn't the skill of the acrobat, he was a hack. How I love that sentence. But how to work it into my every day conversations. Hmmm.

Al said...

The bags are entertaining. But shopping still sucks!

Laura said...

I keep looking at my goldfish in a new light! Love the bags, am trying to figure out if I can sneak a few into our shop!
Have a fab day
Lx

alberta ross said...

so agree about the shopping - dreadful past time - liked Jasper tho' clever fish - bit dense as a man! how gross would he look if he lived that long - i know these leggy young things go for 'older' men with assests but he would be eugh gross!!!

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Ha! What Al said! :)

Pk Hrezo said...

LOL! Those bags are a riot!!!
And awesome flash fiction, dahling. Good luck in the contest and HUGE CONGRATS for making the ABNA cut!!!

youngbloodblog said...

so glad the bags appealed- they had Naked Tart written all over them...

Also adored your skill at engineering so much inuendo into 100 words--but we all knew that, too.

leaving a little love...
and many congratas on ABNA plus an almost certain acceptance by B.Drake (oops, is that bad luck to prognosticate?) anyway, you know wot I mean

Old Kitty said...

Awww poor Jasper!!! What a great story!!!!

But those bags. Oh dear!!!!!

Puts me in the mood for complete NAKEDness this Thursday!!!!

Take care
x

Jan Morrison said...

Love the bags...I might get naked right now and walk downtown. Only it is forty miles and really cold.
I didn't make the top twenty and I'm bummed. I might be a poor loser. We'll see.

Cherie Reich said...

I love the circus act idea for your goldfish flash, and the little twist there at the end. The rat in that picture reminds me of a rat I had a few years back named Penelope. :)

Very interesting bags. ;)

And, congrats on ABNA and good luck!

Hart Johnson said...

Deb-teehee--I'd love to see you work that into daily conversation!

Al-yeah... but wouldn't it suck LESS with a little misattribution added...

Laura-I know, right? I had a magic goldfish once... He used to dance for my mom and kiss the cat. For reals.

Alberta-*snort* Yeah, immortality definitely needs a package that includes not aging, eh?

Elizabeth-hey--totally with you there!

HK-thank you!

Marian *hugs* Thank you, my friend!

Jenny-I think Jasper will figure it out *teehee* And YAY for Naked encouragement!

Jan-I'm so sorry! 20 is a TIGHT CUT! I wish you'd made it though!

Cherie-I had rats as a kid, too! Just the white lab kind, but they were fun. Thanks!

vbtremper said...

Great goldfish story! I love that he makes the hacks famous in exchange for another 80 years of life.

Carol Kilgore said...

Playing a little catch up today. Congrats on making the quarter finals! And thanks for the smiles here.

Colene Murphy said...

Ha! Great little story! Also, LOVE those bags! Happy Thursday!

LTM said...

THAT is a fantastic flash fiction passage! And those pix are hilarious. Naked time!!! <3

Michael Offutt said...

I love those bags. Pure awesome.

Hart Johnson said...

vbt-Thank you! teehee

Carol-And thanks to YOU!

Colene-I wonder if they make those in an eco-friendly, reusable, eh? *snort*

Leigh-Thanks, hon!

Michael, I know, right?!

RosieC said...

Hey Hart. I love the short-short. I love that Jasper's the gold fish. Pretty awesome.

And, yeah, I think I need some of those bags, too. Ha! :)

Happy Naked Thursday!

Alison said...

Love the goldfish story! And the starting point, especially since it includes the word "teetered."

And the bags are fab. If I got one ever, which I never will, since I shop at Target and Costco, I would hide it away forever. Those handle shopping bags are valuable you know.

Sure, you can use them to give to visitors, so they can take home some leftovers, say, but they must be "bag worthy" visitors. And WHO would be worthy of a bag like that?

catherinemjohnson said...

Great story and I too hate shopping, well not the actual shopping, I'd just rather spend the time doing something else. And shopping with kids is no fun! My 5yr old would ask a lot of questions if I went shopping with those bags :)

Sierra Gardner said...

Great job with the story - I really like your take on this!

Carol Riggs said...

Great and unique take on the flashfic! Hadn't seen one in a tightrope act before. Good job.

Deb and Barbara said...

Great short story (is that a drabble too?). I love the starter for it too. And those bags? Awesome. Just curious: Would you carry one???

Cold As Heaven said...

Must admit I've never understood this thing with dog-year, cat-year ... and goldfish year. I know an Earth-year is different from a Mars-year and a Venus-year, but I thought that both humans, dogs, cats and goldfish are orbiting the Sun at the same speed.

Cold As Heaven

Abby Minard said...

Cute story! Love the little twist at the end. Ha, those bags are hilarious.

Happily Cheesy said...

Wondering how he got turned into a fish in the first place.

Missed Periods said...

Well, Jasper won't be flushed down the toilet any time soon.

Trisha said...

Loved your Crusade entry :)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Leave it to you to find bags like these! LOL.

You entry was very fun and different.

Well, Your Royal Highness Tart, I hopped over to WW because I'm in Orlando. Guess what? Fizzie Wizbees are back!!!!! YAY!!!!

I'll send them out to you when I get back in town.

Michael

Witless Exposition said...

Love the flash! (The story and the bags!) I've seen some bags like that before, but they were boring things without any skin. These would make anyone stop and take notice!

Alison Miller said...

LOVE the little twist at the end - did not see it coming. Great job!

Deniz Bevan said...

The bags are fun!
I'd love to know if the goldfish eventually finds a way to retransform...

Lisa Potts said...

Love the flash fic! Your pictures always make me smile and OMG, congrats on the ABNA quarter finals!

Kari Marie said...

I love your flash fiction entry! Those bags are hilarious. Love them!