Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Compaesthetics

Am I trying too hard now, on the making up words thing? I know it's not as fun to say as Tartiversary, or as clever as Procrastinakeding... but it gets across what I want to talk about...

I was supposed to have a guest blogger today, but I didn't hear from her. Now I have a hard enough time keeping track of things in my life that I can hardly blame her if I fell off the radar screen... or if communication fell apart—her email address didn't work for me—she may not even know she was expected! But a couple WEEKS ago I was supposed to have a guest, and when I sent the reminder “Hello? Where's your blog, please?” I got back a very sweet, apologetic note that she wasn't comfortable with the content on my blog.

FAIR ENOUGH. As much as I may encourage all o' y'all to get naked and you go along or ignore me as you will, YOU ALL are here because you picked it. I am at the VERY LEAST not out of your comfort zone (very far—or you are twisted and LIKE me pushing you out of your comfort zone). The guest blogging circuit, on the other hand, gets their suggested assignments for where to visit and may know NOTHING about it until... you know... it's time to go.


Party Metaphor

Since we are such a fun group, lets say all these blogs are parties, and people roam from party to party, doing their sampling of this fare and that. Then somebody comes along and helpfully says, “Hey! I'm part of the Music Association and I can get some bands to cycle through!”

And everybody at my blog starts singing “Louie, Louie” and shouting “Toga! Toga! Toga!” and who should show up, but a gospel singer? Now some of you limboing, toga wearing party nuts really LIKE gospel, and are going to be a perfectly good audience (all o' ya would be NICE)—but Miss Gospel singer looks out at the crowd smearing honey on each other and taking belly shots and she is REALLY uncomfortable, because... you know... she's over-dressed. And it's MY PLACE so nobody WORE their church clothes. Even people that LIKE all that, are hard to see! You are the nicest, most receptive people in the world, but all she is seeing is the line-up of fine man-butts I have arranged.


Now if it were ME, I figure I'd just cater who was there—alter my content accordingly. But I also don't write anything really incompatible with... well... anything... My reputation as an author is hardly going to be slandered because I show up somewhere. The Erotica authors might poke fun because the most sexually graphic part of my cozy is an occasional goosing, but me showing up THERE can hardly be any worse that what I get up to HERE. In reality, exposing myself to varied audiences is the best way to... you know... grow my audience. Or so I see it.
There are writers, however, who have more stake in keeping up some respectability, and I respect that. Compatible Aesthetics are the right of any of us, and it is not up to me to call it.

THAT SAID, none of us should be afraid to say that. Something isn't going to work out? Say so. Communicate. Let people know. Because even the naked among us need to keep up the professionalism so that Tarts don't have to fly by the seat of their pantslessness any more than necessary... if you know what I mean...

24 comments:

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

AW dear. LOL. Well I think your content is right up my ... alley, yeah, alley, that's the right word, innit? I'm pretty sure there are plenty more who would LOVE the content on you blog too :o) xoxo

Jan Morrison said...

Yikes - not showing is rude. Period. Telling you that they can't do it because it is out of their comfort zone is fine in my books. Weird as shit but fine. But not on the day of the party! I cannot imagine that I am so special that I can't do a little research ahead of time. I'm as busy as anyone else and it wouldn't occur to me. But hey, I'm crazy jane - I think if someone calls themselves a writer - they should know how to communicate.
On another note, as an emmisary from the States could you explain something to me that I see on lots of blogs - what the heck is 'Christian Writing'? Seriously, I do not get it. We don't seem to have it in Canada and I've never seen it on any European blogs.

Creepy Query Girl said...

Woah. To each their own I suppose. We've all got different comfort levels. If this were a real party I'd probably be the drunk one on the bar, pretending she alone is directing the music and ambiance. (There always seems to be one of those at any good party, doesn't there?) So I guess I'm not one to judge...

Rayna M. Iyer said...

You have been a good girl and have removed the name, but I do remember the name of the person who was supposed to blog today, and I am sure as hell not going anywhere near that name in future.

Like Jan says, whether I agree with the decision or not, I can understand someone making a choice not to blog here, but the least they can do is to tell you so.

Booo

Watery Tart said...

I do want to reiterate that TODAY's THING may well have been a total mix up. I tried to google to find her and there is NO good contact, so she may have just had something happen--heck, she could be computerless or something.

I just WONDERED, and CONNECTED stuff as I so often do...

But yes... communication is pretty important for writers.

Jessica-I see you in your toga--yes, dahling, you fit right in!

Jan-I've got to be honest, I haven't READ any 'Christian Writing' but I think it is often 'turn the life around'--like chick lit only with a 'saved' component--a lot of woe, but then life gets better through God... some such thing. I think there are writers of other stuff who call themselves Christian writers just because they include Christian themes and such, but I'm not sure if that qualifies 'genre-wise' (it might--I just really don't know)

I have HEARD some of it is pretty bad writing-wise... like I think it's a very tolerant readership because a lot of people REFUSE to read anything that DOESN'T support the Christian theme, which means they badly need books, so don't have to time to weed out the crap.

CQG-teehee--an orchestrator! Every party needs one (and I am frequently in the middle of the jello-shot business, so it certainly won't be me)

Natasha--yeah--I figure there is a lesson here about comfort zones and our responsibilities too... giving it a few days in advance to check something out--I email everyone to give a heads up, but like I said, the person for today bounced back.

Sugar said...

Shame on you Tart! all the naked men scared someone away! lol..j/k.. (just more for me)
I say..their loss..Life goes on. We can just hop on the bar and do some belly shots while waiting for the next guest :)

M.J. Nicholls said...

Part of your blog text vanished when I was reading this. Magic Tart!

KarenG said...

Oh I'm so sorry your guest blogger didn't show! I'm rather prudish myself but am not offended by your blog. I come here every day and thoroughly enjoy it. I could do a guest blog on NOT getting naked. Like how much I love clothes. And shoes. Sweaters. Sweatshirts. Shade shirts and layering clothes. There you go-- I did a guest comment.

B. Miller said...

Wow... I can't believe someone would stand you up, that sucks.

I loved your metaphor - there are some parties I've stepped into in the blog-o-sphere that just aren't me either... but they're more of the gospel singer variety.

I, for one, LOVE your blog and think it's awesome. If you need a guest blogger, I'd throw my hat in the ring, Hart. And I won't stand you up either. ;)

Watery Tart said...

Sugar--you know we SHARE around here, yes? *teehee*

Mark-I noticed that too, and have NO CLUE what it is. I'm hoping if I ignore it the bad behavior will stop? Probably won't be so lucky, but I'm not sure what to do...

Karen-I DO try really had to maintain the PG13 line--I have a lot of practice from my years doing the Harry Potter thing where the moderators only had to spank me two or three times. I hope everyone is ALSO comfortable enough that if I DO cross any lines they would just tell me to behave--I don't want to scare anyone away (though I know I have)

I have a friend Megan with a tweed fetish and she and I taunt each other relentlessly. She talks love of tweed and I sit there scratching, then I talk nudity and she blushes. I think it's good for both of us *snort*

Talli Roland said...

Oh, I know what you mean. There's nothing wrong with saying no up front. But waiting and not saying anything... well, it's just not the greatest of manners, is it?

And I luuurrve the content of your blog!

Watery Tart said...

Becky-I think you and I run in the same crowds... A little wild fun, a lot of humor, maybe a snark or two... I enjoy the useful parties too... because their good for me. Like vegetables (and I honestly ENJOY vegetables--especially if someone grills them just right so they are smoky... wait, where was I?)

Thank you, Talli!

Lisa K. said...

Scaring away the guest bloggers, heh? All that nakedness. Sheesh.

But like you, I appreciate someone being forthright enough to simply say to you that they aren't comfortable with your blog because we're all entitled to our likes and dislikes, our comfort zones and our taboos. And I'd like to hope most hosts of guest bloggers are receptive to that.

Helena said...

I like when you wrote, "exposing myself to varied audiences..."
Considering the context, it's a great play on words. But then the rest of the sentence disappeared so there must be something funky going on with this post.
Personally, I'd expose myself to a wider audience. But with my luck I'd just be arrested.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I don't have a problem with your blog. (Except all the half-naked guy photos, but hey, that's just me! You're a woman so you post what appeals to you.)
Too bad - that author might've connected with some readers in an area she didn't expect.

Watery Tart said...

Lisa--I'm pretty scary, it's true *teehee*

Helena-you caught that, did you? I'm not sure what's up with the text disappearing, but it is all THERE, it just disappears if you scroll past a certain point and there is a gap... for some reason the text doesn't want to be on the same page as the boys...

Alex, I appreciate you putting up with my amor for the male physique! You're a real trooper! (or like the occasional smart guys I hung out with knew the key to being in the company of a lot of women was to hang out where THEY are... watching the boys)

Charmaine Clancy said...

Watery Tart your page is fun and every now and then you might get someone sensitive to the image (I'm told if I write for kids I probably 'shouldn't' also write porn - so, I guess there are 'rules').
Most people wouldn't agree to blog for you unless they already knew your site (and it's not THAT wild - no one's thrown up on my shoes yet), so it probably was a mix-up this time (I know I forget almost every appointment unless a post-it is stuck to my forehead).
Fun substitute post!

Marjorie said...

I agree with Jan's sentiments. It was rude to just not show. Honestly though you have so many others that love your blog that it doesn't matter. Boo for the no-show! Yay for the Tart!

Helen Ginger said...

I'm surprised an author would ask to appear on your blog, or agree to appear, if they didn't know what kind of posts you did. Did she not visit your blog beforehand? And to not tell you that she'd changed her mind was quite rude, IMO.

Watery Tart said...

Thanks, all!

And to clarify--Helen, this is a part of a 3rd party-arranged blog book tour, so they were going with available blogs and authors wanting spots... I gave fair warning, but it is impossible to anticipate, I think, so I REALLY don't blame the sponsors.

The first author to back out, albeit sort of last minute, I think was intimidated to say something, and the second, it really MAY have been a mix up that wasn't her fault, but twice means I felt I should say SOMETHING just so we all think about it.

Medeia Sharif said...

The day of...she should never have made the commitment.

When I saw that toga picture, I thought there was going to be a literal toga blogging party. I wanted to sign up. Where is my mind at?

Watery Tart said...

Medeia-Welcome! And if you are a toga kind of girl, you will fit RIGHT IN around here!

Cruella Collett said...

I'm confused - didn't they agree (or volounteer?) to guest blog in the first place? Wouldn't that be the time to check whether your content fitted them? (Okay, I read the comment where you replied to that. Still, if you're that prudish, you probably can't sign up for things like a third party blog tour arrangement...)

I agree that this last one might sound strange enough that there might be something else up, but the one that said no thanks after having been scheduled - that is just not how I'd roll. If you're craving PR so much that you'd accept anything without even checking if it is something you feel comfortable with, then you're too desperate...

Anyway, I love your posts better than any guests anyway :) I'll second Marjorie: Yay for Tart!

LTM said...

hilarious stuff! And love the name. I'll be back~