Saturday, June 19, 2010

Afraid to Look

So while I don't think EVERYTHING is yet going badly, I noticed a bad habit crop up this week, that has me vaguely worried. I only weighed myself TWICE other than weigh in day. Now I know if you are doing a program diet they TELL YOU only once a week, but in my 30 years of dieting experience, it is my experience that if I WEIGH every day, I keep from letting it get out of hand... YES, weight goes up and down, and you get a feel for what is normal and why, but you DON'T, if you weigh every day, have more than about 2 really stupid days in a row.

I don't think I am yet at stupid days exactly--in fact my weight is microscopically down (-41 from starting point--half pound below my low), but I AM having some challenges.

Day Job Stress

I need to be a little obtuse here, as it IS a public forum, but suffice it to say, while I HATE micromanaging, I probably should have been doing it and my boss is getting some crap for my having NOT. This is compounded by ANOTHER person having FAILED to tell somebody “they are asking why you are doing this” (to the person I should have been micromanaging-when said person was out of MY view, so I didn't know) and instead gossiping within a different part of the department. THREE of us fell down on what we should have done, but I am going to be stuck picking up the pieces.

It's very stressful to fail somebody you respect. Even more so to feel like you failed because you believed the best in human nature—that others shared your work ethic and loyalty (the idea that I should have said "where were you?  What were you doing? Seriously?  But I should have). There also seems to have been some common sense missing, but I suppose part of MY common sense comes from people who used to work above ME gossiping about how it goes, and I'm not really a gossipy gal.


And then the kids are ending their school year—not me. I work year-round... And I always feel just a little jealous of people who get that cycle... with starts and ends and a break in between. I wanted to be an academic at one point, before I understood that in reality, it is only the TEACHING part that is cyclical—summer is just as busy or more so, because it is the intensive research time. Anyway... I LOVE this season, but it is also one I fight the little green-eyed monster just a little.

Hubby's Class

My husband is doing nursing prerequisites. Once he is done, he will apply for nursing school, which is an EXCELLENT fit for him. My cue that this punk rocker has a good heart was that he nursed his mom through cancer 22 years ago—but in all this time he has lacked the confidence to DO IT. Finally, after getting laid off almost 2 years ago, he decided to give it a go. He took his math.  He took some biology.  Well this spring he has been doing a CNA course (NOT certified nudist assistant, but certified NURSE'S assistant) and he really likes it--first patient contact, but it is ALL DAY Saturday and Sunday. Normally HE has family duties weekdays and we SPLIT on weekends. But right now, I have FULL ON family duties on weekends WITH NO CAR. You see, we only have one, and he had to go too far to either leave it with me, or have me drop him off and come home.

So today I need to WALK to buy the father's day gift (which I at least finally remember what he'd LIKE!), do laundry, clean the bathroom, then prepare for our neighborhood picnic... where I will proceed to drink too much beer and embarrass myself, as I do each year.

ON THAT NOTE... the neighborhood picnic last year was my first 'outing' among people I KNOW as a writer—there were a couple following my blog (which made me feel totally NAKED!--I know... ironic I should mind, ne?) but I talked to the neighbor who introduced me to my first 'published author' acquaintance (the woman who said 'they are rejecting you because it is 200K words'--THANK YOU honest feedback!) So I am THRILLED to be able to tell them this year that I have a publishing contract in progress!

Okay... Nuff on Excuses... BACK TO IT!  I am ready to yank the eating plan back on track!  (erm... after the block party)

And More Pleasantly...

I had a moment of maternal pride last night. My son, done with 6th grade... asked if he and a few friends could go to an Ann Arbor tradition called 'Top of the Park'--on campus there is a stage (band some nights, movie others) food booths, ton of activity--all family friendly... we made it VERY clear this was going to be RARE for our 11 year old, but he was going in a group, AND his sister (15) would be there with her boyfriend and a couple of HER friends.

He went. 'The Boyfriend' drove him. His sister showed him where I'd pick him up and what his friends meant about where to meet them. Then about 9 he calls (pick-up was scheduled for 9:30). “Mom, can you come get me now... thunder storms, yada yada.” (apparently a weather warning had come through)  So I did.

Did you know two minutes after I got him, his SISTER called his cell phone to make sure he was okay and wasn't going to be caught in the storm? She is normally TERRIBLY self-centered, and I was so pleased she was concerned enough to make sure he got to cover okay.  We had asked her just to keep an eye out, but she told us they wouldn't be there the whole time, so I wasn't sure if she'd even known about the warning).

It's nice to get periodic evidence that you haven't completely failed at creating caring offspring.


Erica Mitchell-Spickard said...

I did a diet "plan" kinda, it was called the deployment 15. Either wives gain it or lose it in the month after they leave. I actually lost 27. Not in that same month, but probably 10 of it. I figured well 10 came off after having to be sedentary after back surgery might as keep going and I never weighed myself so it's interesting how different people approach it. I monitored my clothing for about four months then got sick went to doc they did the normal vitals and I was down another 10 and then just recently at PT they checked and another 7 was gone. So I am proud of you for what you have achieved already and know you will get back on track. It amazes me that you know what's got you in a holding pattern and your able to disect it to get back on track. Cause you're awesome like that!
Could you tell my husband he needs to go to school for nursing or some type medical job. He is SO resistant but that's what he basically doesn right now and it's a pretty stable job. Sigh, he keeps fluctating back and forth and it totally doesn't help that his buddies poke fun at the idea of him being a nurse! CURSE THEM lol. He's SO awesome at that type of work and he enjoys it...he just enjoys it in a helicopter with a crazy helmet on and pistol strapped to his thigh. Such a boy... Have fun at the block party :D

Rayna M. Iyer said...

I think it is impossible for you and Mr. Tart to have not brought up a sensitive and caring kid. Her's is an age for being self-centred, but she has her heart in the right place.

Rayna M. Iyer said...

Just noticed you have taken off word verification. Thank you.

I am pretty sure you will not get too much spam for having done so.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

No certified nudist assistant degree unless he's assisting you, Hart?

Responsible kids? You should feel VERY proud!

Watery Tart said...

Erica- Mr. Tart has already BRAVED the lines of being the stay-at-home dad and a lunch lady, so he's gotten comfortable as the only man. It's sort of funny, because he has a super deep voice and no indication in his physical appearance he'd be nurturing, but he can be (and in fact is nicer when that is part of what he's doing). If your husband is resistant though--Physician's Assistants are largely male (that is a master's degree but STARTS with nursing) or an EMT I think is only a one or two year program (maybe the ambulance adrenaline followed by med stuff suits him?)

Natasha-thank you! She really is pretty sweet, just almost never to her FAMILY. And I took the word verification off at Mark's request about two months ago, and think I haven't gotten a single spam.

Alex-it's true, sometimes the nudist DOES need an assistant *winks* And thanks about my daughter!

Dawn said...

Stresses like the ones you've mentioned can absolutely tip the scales (either way) on weight loss. But like you, I tend to step on the scale every day. I have been known to let things get out of hand otherwise.

Palindrome said...

I don't even own a scale. In the end, it all boils down to whether I'm happy with my physical appearance and health, no matter what the scale says.

Helena said...

It's great your hubby is going to be a nurse. It's not a profession for wusses, he'll have great job security, and he'll do meaningful work he can be proud of. It's also a profession that at long last is paying the high wages nurses deserve. Kudos to you for having his back!

Old Kitty said...

gosh - so much going on!! But Yay!!!!!!! for getting a publishing contract - brilliant brilliant news!! And good luck to your hubby - I hope he continues to find the confidence to just move on onwards and upwards!!

And congrats with your kids surprising you! LOL!

Sorry to hear about your work difficulties. I hope that gets sorted out - micromanaging is one of those words I just can't get to grips with but it seems unfair that the buck stops with you! Oh dear. Good luck with that.

And just think all that walking will help with the diet! :-)

Take care and have a lovely weekend!

Lisa K. said...

Those daily stresses certainly do not make the dieting easier. *sigh* And I'm with you about the weighing in more than once a week. I need to step on that scale on a regular basis to keep myself from getting out of control. Once a week just isn't going to cut it for me.

Ellie said...

Enjoy the block party then plan some stress busters, perhaps with your CNA hubby or just for yourself~ I agree, stress seems to yank the cortisol chain that prevents the weight from dropping off or the emotional eating is set off.
I hate gossip, sure I listen to it, but I don't pass it on, not my style.
Kids in the teen years, tend to be more self-absorbed, not all the time! Happy you see progress in that department. She knows when it matters; it is a relief, when you see it!

I think weighing in every day can be upsetting, but it is up to the individual. I think perhaps
Monday and Friday...before the weekend and then the wake up after the weekend~

Congrats on your published contract in process...this is amazing news!!!

Watery Tart said...

Thank you to everyone who stopped in yesterday while I was off doing the party thing! I wish I'd been better about getting to people's blogs--I didn't write ANYTHING but my own blog yesterday--bad for the BuNo, but fortunately I am ahead. Nothing will probably get written until tonight either, as I want to make the house clean and pleasant and then get dinner stuff, as it's father's day...

Now to brainstorm good stress-busters! Hmmmm... I can think of a few *snort*

Love you guys!