Saturday, June 19, 2010
Afraid to Look
I don't think I am yet at stupid days exactly--in fact my weight is microscopically down (-41 from starting point--half pound below my low), but I AM having some challenges.
Day Job Stress
I need to be a little obtuse here, as it IS a public forum, but suffice it to say, while I HATE micromanaging, I probably should have been doing it and my boss is getting some crap for my having NOT. This is compounded by ANOTHER person having FAILED to tell somebody “they are asking why you are doing this” (to the person I should have been micromanaging-when said person was out of MY view, so I didn't know) and instead gossiping within a different part of the department. THREE of us fell down on what we should have done, but I am going to be stuck picking up the pieces.
It's very stressful to fail somebody you respect. Even more so to feel like you failed because you believed the best in human nature—that others shared your work ethic and loyalty (the idea that I should have said "where were you? What were you doing? Seriously? But I should have). There also seems to have been some common sense missing, but I suppose part of MY common sense comes from people who used to work above ME gossiping about how it goes, and I'm not really a gossipy gal.
And then the kids are ending their school year—not me. I work year-round... And I always feel just a little jealous of people who get that cycle... with starts and ends and a break in between. I wanted to be an academic at one point, before I understood that in reality, it is only the TEACHING part that is cyclical—summer is just as busy or more so, because it is the intensive research time. Anyway... I LOVE this season, but it is also one I fight the little green-eyed monster just a little.
My husband is doing nursing prerequisites. Once he is done, he will apply for nursing school, which is an EXCELLENT fit for him. My cue that this punk rocker has a good heart was that he nursed his mom through cancer 22 years ago—but in all this time he has lacked the confidence to DO IT. Finally, after getting laid off almost 2 years ago, he decided to give it a go. He took his math. He took some biology. Well this spring he has been doing a CNA course (NOT certified nudist assistant, but certified NURSE'S assistant) and he really likes it--first patient contact, but it is ALL DAY Saturday and Sunday. Normally HE has family duties weekdays and we SPLIT on weekends. But right now, I have FULL ON family duties on weekends WITH NO CAR. You see, we only have one, and he had to go too far to either leave it with me, or have me drop him off and come home.
So today I need to WALK to buy the father's day gift (which I at least finally remember what he'd LIKE!), do laundry, clean the bathroom, then prepare for our neighborhood picnic... where I will proceed to drink too much beer and embarrass myself, as I do each year.
ON THAT NOTE... the neighborhood picnic last year was my first 'outing' among people I KNOW as a writer—there were a couple following my blog (which made me feel totally NAKED!--I know... ironic I should mind, ne?) but I talked to the neighbor who introduced me to my first 'published author' acquaintance (the woman who said 'they are rejecting you because it is 200K words'--THANK YOU honest feedback!) So I am THRILLED to be able to tell them this year that I have a publishing contract in progress!
Okay... Nuff on Excuses... BACK TO IT! I am ready to yank the eating plan back on track! (erm... after the block party)
I had a moment of maternal pride last night. My son, done with 6th grade... asked if he and a few friends could go to an Ann Arbor tradition called 'Top of the Park'--on campus there is a stage (band some nights, movie others) food booths, ton of activity--all family friendly... we made it VERY clear this was going to be RARE for our 11 year old, but he was going in a group, AND his sister (15) would be there with her boyfriend and a couple of HER friends.
He went. 'The Boyfriend' drove him. His sister showed him where I'd pick him up and what his friends meant about where to meet them. Then about 9 he calls (pick-up was scheduled for 9:30). “Mom, can you come get me now... thunder storms, yada yada.” (apparently a weather warning had come through) So I did.
Did you know two minutes after I got him, his SISTER called his cell phone to make sure he was okay and wasn't going to be caught in the storm? She is normally TERRIBLY self-centered, and I was so pleased she was concerned enough to make sure he got to cover okay. We had asked her just to keep an eye out, but she told us they wouldn't be there the whole time, so I wasn't sure if she'd even known about the warning).
It's nice to get periodic evidence that you haven't completely failed at creating caring offspring.