Saturday, May 29, 2010

Missing Motivation

I thought last week that I was good to go. I was wrong. I've been feeling motivated in other domains this week. There again, though, I think I'm wrong. Where has my motivation gone and what do I need to do to bring it back?


Motivational Imposter

First I think I'll take on this thing that I was THINKING was motivation, but I have not been able to tap... I have FELT like I had a ton of writing motivation and just wasn't able to apply it to the eating right thing (my exercise is going fine—usually does when the weather is nice, as I love to get out there and GO). But the eating (and drinking) within limits has been nearly impossible, so I THOUGHT maybe I had just rechanneled my motivation... you following?

You know about BuNoWriMo, ne? Well I am WAY motivated on that front... like SERIOUSLY. Adrenaline junkie mode is going strong. But her is the real deal... The PROBLEM, is that is more like filling up the motivation tank, but then keeping the switch flipped OFF—I am not firing up that engine yet. I am carb loading for a 30 day marathon in which I need to use all that stuff I have built, so right NOW it is sitting there unfired.

I've actually written VERY little this week-- a drabble for the Burrow's June Project (The Burrow A to Z—inspired by ARLeeBird at Tossing It Out and his Blogging A to Z). And I wrote a 'setting' and some character sketch stuff—but that is all more ORGANIZING. I haven't WRITTEN, really at all. I also have had a HECK of a time doing my daytime job—even on that front my motivation has been lacking... Nope... whatever this is is only POSING as motivation.


Plan to Tap It

But if I'm storing up, I have every reason to believe that come June 1, I ought to be able to FLY with it in all directions, yeah? And there is not really a reason that I can't write like the maniac I am, work at my day job like I'm supposed to, and FOLLOW THE BLASTED PLAN! In fact for this perfect temperatured 3-day weekend, I think I will up the exercise, but not worry as much on the eating (within reason), knowing on Tuesday I am going to SOAR.

Does that sound like excuses? Sort of it is, so probably it OUGHT to, but after all this time, I am pretty tuned in to the mind games I play with myself, so it oughta work...


In the Mean Time

I have a little gardening to do, a fair amount of homemaking (my husband is in a CNA class that is all day Saturday and Sunday through late June—leaving me with such distasteful tasks as making dinner—YUCK!), some chauffeuring childings, and some drinking rum next to my neighbor's pool if I manage to see her out there—handy to have a neighbor with a pool who works outside a lot and is fun to talk to (and likes a cocktail). Really the bonus of the weekend is just the extra day off, so I can rest up after the weekend chores, because the CHORES have to get done whether there is time to rest after them or not.



BuNoWriMo Update

We are at 70 and counting... Discussions are good. Camaraderie is good. We are STILL looking for a word count tracker that is compatible with facebook... Maria is on it though, and she is definitely more technically competent than I am. Though if any of you already HAS ONE, we would be EVER-SO-GRATEFUL if you'd share!

And you are of course STILL invited to join us! The top BuNoWriMo is 'about' and the one on this section is the Facebook link.

Okay, peeps, get out there and enjoy some sunshine! Hopefully it is warm enough that there is a lot of nudity where you are!

17 comments:

Erica Mitchell said...

I have been suffering from motivational mood swings or some form of bipolarity between motivated and then unmotivated. But I know enough about myself that the unmotivated part of me is the manifested form of feeling totally overwhellmed. Theres just so much going on that I have to stay "motivated for" that the ugly head of overwhellmed tell's me take a nap the rest can wait.
I also haven't been writing in prep for the BuNo I have 2.5k that don't count as is so lets not add to that ;) so I'm scared come June 1st I'm going pull a full on deer in headlight and draw a blank. ACK! Thats just me psyching myself out. Your post pretty much summed my last week and half...er, month :) Chin up, at least you know enough about yourself to adjust to function mode. Maybe it is just stored motivation with flip turned to off, never thought of it that way.
So my in the mean time, read, prep a little more although I'm going to let my characters guide me (one of them won't shut up seriously) and hit the beach to "dewhellm" myself.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If you garden in the nude, Hart, you will definitely motivate SOMEBODY!

Smackenicious said...

Can I do BuNoWriMo naked?

Ella said...

Cats, impostor, almost camouflaged to me, very clever dog~ Then you mention Soar and peeps...
check my blog out. The baby birds have arrived and I see your post and smile ;-D!
You need an art date! Go somewhere with camera and take pics; This will inspire your writing!
Oh, I can see you already have a great start!
Okay, sex will inspire your writing...

Jessica Bell said...

Yep, me too. Motivation zilch - down the toilet. Actually no, not down the toilet becasue there wasn't any to begin with. I got through these stages, where I don't write anything for months, and then half a book in two weeks, it's knida nuts and off the rail, but, hey, can't do anything about it.

By the way, that photgraph of the naked gardner remind me of a show I saw in Germany. A home improvment show where everyone on it was naked and exposed many a genital piercing. LOL. It was hilarious and thought it might be your cup of tushy ;) xx

Slutface told me your current WIP is multi POV too! Excellent! Slut, Tart and Allo-vera are on the same page ... ;)

Hart Johnson said...

Erica-you'll be FINE once we get going! It is the WAITING that is so hard--though I agree that the 'too much to do' makes me want to crawl in a hole and do a lot of NOTHING. Time to break it into manageable pieces and put 'em in order (and then ignore my list--is usually how it goes)

Alex- oh yes... everything is done naked around here! teehee. Mostly motivating people to run away.

Ana-Of COURSE you can BuNoWriMo naked! Who do you think is RUNNING this thing?!

Ellie-I will check out your baby birds! Yeah, I love the annoyed cats and the happy imposter *snort* And I just got back from a power walk, which ALWAYS helps!

Jessica-yeah... usually have a couple PoVs...I think I've only written one that was a single one, and that one isn't done yet. I just like stories that come together, rather than following a single line.--and the naked gardener above has a website that ends in .de, which I am guessing is Denmark... mmmmm. Danes... (the Norsisima in me isn't supposed to say that, but I've never seen one who wasn't gorgeous)

I normally am good at pacing myself. I alternate writing and editing (sort of--hate editing, so I do less of that) but I almost ALWAYS do one or the other EVERY night. This is wacky for me. (getting through some great books though)

Jan Morrison said...

man oh man, do I know what you mean. I say fuhgedaboudid! forget the word 'motivation' poof - it is gone like zee pants in zee sunshine! it is just a concept - it is of leeetle value. why have I become a parisian, I am not knowing but I will go wit eet, alors! Be like Yoda - be doing or not doing. Lack of motivation equals either fear or don't want to, never did. sooooo. I adore you tartleet, don't worry your head. all is better than good. I know this - now I'm not parisian, I am a psychic channeler. I see lots and lots of books in your future - some of them more ephemeral than real and zat is not a bad theeng.

H.B.Markor said...

I hope June fixes the motivation monsters for you. Oh man, I couldn't garden in the buff, the weeds we have around here have too many thorns!

You have too much confidence in my computer competence methinks, but I am still working on it.

Talli Roland said...

I'm back and forth on the motivational front. It depends on the task!

Love the naked gardener, by the way. And rum by the pool sounds like a fantastic option!

Hart Johnson said...

*giggles* Yay for psychic channelers who talk funny! Yup. I actually (on the WRITING) know the problem is I am not letting myself write what I WANT to write right now because of the WriMo, so THAT will be good. The other motivation though? Let's just say my iced coffee just got capped with amaretto and rum to help motivate me to go outside and pretend to move some mulch...

Maria--YIKES on thorns! Hubby got bitten by a spider last week... I think maybe gardening is just dangerous... maybe I should just SIP that iced coffee and read... Got a book I won in the mail today, so I am not longer worried I will finish Chasing Fire before The Girl Who Played with Fire gets to me on the library list, as I have a book to read between!

And nonsense--I have confidence in you because YOU CAN!

Hart Johnson said...

Ack! Talli, you snuck in on me last time I was here! Motivation for me usually has to do with task, I suppose... if I can find what I LIKE doing, it isn't hard... or if I set up a reward of what I like doing after the distasteful task... I suppose though it is hard to keep day in and day out.

Yes! The pool is looking green at the mo, but rum and reading were the reward after some mulch hauling...

H.B.Markor said...

The good news is that my complaining got Jason on the case and helped point him in the direction of creating one! So yay on that front!

Your poor hubby, did he squish the spider after it bit him? Go for the read, much better way to spend time anyways.

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

I'm usually not motivated, either. I just kind of grit my teeth and go on with it. I keep *thinking* there's some sort of plateau waiting for me somewhere where I can rest up and be unmotivated for half a minute...but I never seem to reach it!

Hart Johnson said...

Maria--yeah, Jason on the case has solved MANY problems for me in the past!

Hubby didn't KNOW he got bit until later, but the fang marks are clear--definitely a spider (or a very small vampire)

Elizabeth--sadly, deadlines seem to have replaced real motivation on my work-front, so I hear you. I am currently thinking with the writing though, that by the time I get a taker, I will have a stack to choose from, so the deadlines will be about EDITING mostly, instead of writing. (Have written to deadlines, but not 'hard ones'--like I had a fanfic I sprinted to finish before book 7 was released and made it obsolete... I do okay with that. They are more suited to editing though, than writing. (just because of the mojo involved)

Unknown said...

LOVE your new blog layout! So cutesy. Not exactly what I ever would have imagined for you, but cute nonetheless. ;)

I had myself all set and ready to start writing on Tuesday, but now I am questioning my idea. I might switch it a few times in the next 48 hours!

Charmaine Clancy said...

The only way you can spot the impostor in the first pic is because he's smiling - cats don't do smiles ;-J

During NaNoWriMo I flew through my writing, but also lack that motivational push lately. Will check out your link.

Hart Johnson said...

Amy-the layout isn't exactly ME, but I haven't found anything underwater except sort of fantasy stuff, and as I already HAD polkadots... I will keep looking, but this seemed like a nice party atmosphere for the time being...

And change is FINE--last time I was going to rebel and continue my trilogy but ended up doing an original that was bugging me.

Charmaine-we'd love you to join us! Nothing motivates as well as an insane bunch of co-conspirators!