Saturday, May 15, 2010

Dieting in Hell

[For those of you new, Saturday is typically my fitness day--the other days are more about writing or silliness, but Saturday I am trying to document weight loss/fitness progress--started January 2]

You know what I've discovered? IT (dieting in hell) ISN'T POSSIBLE!

Man, I had a hell of a week.

Saturday I intentionally splurged... old friend... all that. (this you know).

I spent Sunday in the airport because my plane that was supposed to leave at 9:50 was BROKEN and the plane at 12:40 was FULL so I didn't get out until 4:20. I sat in an airport bar all day because frankly, airport CHILDREN do not suit me. I sat at a table with my laptop and first a diet coke, then a Bloody Mary... finally a SNACK (onion rings... bad choice, but I was badly pouting). Then I went to see if I could get on that 12:40... waiting about an hour for the final word and went BACK to the bar... Tavern ale... and another... chef salad, and yet ANOTHER ale. Can you SEE the calories add up? (in my defense, it is the best airport ale I've found aside from Red Hook ESB, but that, I only see west of the Rockies). The computer battery was dead by this point (the return after trying to get on the plane), so that was what I had (along with reading a story by a friend, which I enjoyed, but infringed not at ALL on my pout-infested drinking... I mean seriously--It was MOTHER'S day and I was STUCK in a bloody airport!)

So then, after long pouting, I get on my plane and find myself in... first class? Eeek gads! I'm not sure I'd ever ridden in first class before (I know I've never paid for it). First class has snacks and cocktails... which are free, and this cheapskate can HARDLY say no to FREE.

So that was two days shot.

The next few were technically okay... except the mind set... I wonder how much my brain depends on weekend rejuvenation and sleep to convince me to do the right thing... I think it must be substantial. Things that have not been tempting for MONTHS suddenly WERE... potato chips and cheeze its from the cupboard, suddenly hugely irresistable. Lunch plans left me starving...

Then Wednesday night I FELT it... Illness falling.

[Not me.  I very rarely resort to drugs, no matter how lousy I feel, but she looks like I felt.]---->

I woke up Thursday morning unable to breath. My throat hurt INSANELY, my nose was leaking CRAP down my throat, and the bite guard I sleep with conspired against my cold—disallowing the THROAT THING that would have kept me BREATHING..---ack, how miserable! So I didn't sleep well.

I worked Thursday, in spite of misery, and the difficulties of keeping a brain running when I feel like crap are monumental... pouting inspires bad eating URGH!

I guess the moral of the story is sometimes it just seems TOO HARD and the best we can do is dust ourselves off and move forward from there. I guess FORTUNATELY, feeling like crap, though it makes me want BAD stuff, is a bit of an appetite dampener, so volume is down, balancing things a little

<--- [also not me, but of the before/after pics I found, this is the closest to the starting and achievable figures, though her arms are more petite than mine would ever be.]

My weigh in this morning was the same as three weeks ago, which FORTUNATELY was the low point (the two weeks in between being UP a little from that... so I am still sitting at a 40 pound loss... and it is time to move forward. Time to stop pointing, and put my ducks in a row. I'd LIKE to lose another 10 by my birthday (June 23—about 5 weeks). And I THINK, after having the scale barely budge for six weeks, that I am in a good position to make that happen. That puts me at my high school graduation weight (still 20 pounds too heavy, but hey) for swimsuit season... and YES swimsuit season matters because my neighbor has a pool, so I spend a fair amount of TIME in one, never mind that nobody but she and her partner, occasionally his kids, and my family, see me. I still hate feeling I am getting tan lines from belly fat rolls (something that kept me in a long top the last two summers—but I'm a dedicated nudist—y'all know that... I want this pesky possibility GONE!)

I measured today—should have been last Saturday, but didn't take the tape measure... hips and butt are both down another inch! *and there was much rejoicing*--that is seven inches off my wide derriere!

I'm glad about that... as with the scale not budging, a little motivation definitely helps.


Jan Morrison said...

hurrah! Celebrate the victories, ignore the set-backs. And remember you are loved no matter what size your derriere is. really.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Don't give up even after a week in hell.
And children from hell in airports? Do they come any other way?

Watery Tart said...

Jan, I love you too! So encouraging, in all my mad endeavors!

Alex-thank you! I don't give up, but it helps to hear it, and NO. Even my OWN children seem to be from hell in airports. Fortunately they are old enough I can abandon them and go to the BAR. (rare, but it's happened)

Ellie said...

Forgive yourself, you are human and move on! I posted about "The Writer's Diet"~Julia may help
We all have these days, don't get stuck in the
mood of it, move on!!! I also need to lose weight. YOU are not alone,.... be proud of what you have accomplished, do a mind map and keep going onward! Congrats on what you have accomplished, so far!!!

Watery Tart said...

Ellie-thank you so much! I will have to check out the writer's diet--hopefully it doesn't count unduly on stress, as that just makes me snack! *snort* Seriously though, the encouragement goes a long way!

Lisa K. said...

I'm a firm believer in the philosophy of what's done is done and you just have to move forward from that point. And it's a good philosophy to have considering I just ate a big piece of leftover birthday cake! :-P

Erica Mitchell-Spickard said...

I heard at some point in college, if there is any truth to this I have no idea but I would like to think there is...using your brain to study, read, write, etc burns them calories. I remember thinking about that and sayin okay yeah right, and then one night I had to use my brain for some college final (generally I never had to study, got the photographic memory) and I started feeling really hungry, that kind of hunger you get after swimming for a long time.
So I wonder still to this day if it's true, but if the sitting aspect of writing cancels it all out cause I'm rather sedentary. And there is no way I can sit on that balance ball to write. Yikes!
Congrats on your progress :) and, yes, airport kids can be hell.

Watery Tart said...

Lisa--totally with you on 'done is done'. I am a 'no regrets' kind of gal (believe in amends if necessary, though try to avoid the need for them... but on no-victim stuff... no regrets) so I am totally there.

Erica--TRUE about the brain! it is a muscle and HAPPENS to be the one capable of the greatest calorie use if you are REALLY using it. It is rare in my life experience but I HAVE been in a place where I really needed every calorie and when I had serious thinking required, I DEFINITELY noticed! I think it just is infrequent we push those limits!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Dieting is hard. That's why its first syllable is DIE!

First thing out of bed, collapse on the floor. That's not too hard to do if you feel like me upon rising. Then, quick before your brain can kick in with reasons not to : lay flat on your back (still not too hard to do) and do 10 sit-ups.

Turn over and do 5 push-up's, the last as you stagger to your feet. You're lucky. You don't have a cat snickering at you like I do while you're doing this.

It's not much, but it's a start. And you can increase as you feel up to it.

And for your flu or cold, take Echinacea-Goldenseal capsules. An old Lakota trick that has kept me well for years.

Feel free to blow me the raspberries and not do any of this. But it is something small and able to be maintained day by day. Just a thought.

Hope you feel better, Roland

Deb and Barbara said...

I second (or third or whatever) all the votes of support -- but I have to say, this post made for a very funny read. Bridget Jones eat your heart out!

And from your pics, my guess is that you're the only one noticing your "flaws"... just sayin'


Bridge Marie said...

I would definitely say the positives override the setbacks! And don't worry about the airport stuff, no one can avoid bad food in airports. Really, I think it's impossible.

Watery Tart said...

Roland, if I roll onto the floor out of bed it makes the dog REALLY mad, as I land on him! But the other stuff all works, thanks! (I can only do girl push ups, but hey--I can actually do around 60 crunches, so at least something is working)

Barbara--oh these lovely pics aren't ME! I will get a 'midway' one taken soon--I am not to that 'after' shape yet, but I agree... I will be content when I am!

Bridge--thanks! It's true that it's hard to eat well in an airport... I just probably need to work at that moderation thing! Me and moderation mostly just posture and stare at each other, without ever entering the same realm...

KarenG said...

No huge cinnamon rolls at 1200 calories apiece? If not, I call that a victory. And aren't onion rings a vegetable and beer a herbal drink?

Watery Tart said...

*snicker* Karen, you're my kind of thinker. My friend Vic and I used to go to Happy Hour at El Torito and argue we'd covered all the food groups between the Maragaritas and Chips & Salsa (if we got a side of sour cream, anyway). beer is absolutely a grain!

Sugar said...

Congrats darling! That is a great accomplishment! 7 inches? wowsa!! I wish you the best and make sure to drink lots of water.. I've heard it helps..idk.. :)
*raises beer in air-salutes the skinny nekey chic in the pool* woohoo!!

Watery Tart said...

*huggles Sugar* Thanks, hon! Yeah--it feels pretty good--largely to be back in clothes that didn't fit for a few years. Not there yet, but not gross anymore either (or so I was thinking of myself)

SEO Los Angeles said...

Wow! Congratulations! 7 inches less is quite an accomplishment. Hurray for you!