Dieting in Hell

[For those of you new, Saturday is typically my fitness day--the other days are more about writing or silliness, but Saturday I am trying to document weight loss/fitness progress--started January 2]

You know what I've discovered? IT (dieting in hell) ISN'T POSSIBLE!

Man, I had a hell of a week.

Saturday I intentionally splurged... old friend... all that. (this you know).

I spent Sunday in the airport because my plane that was supposed to leave at 9:50 was BROKEN and the plane at 12:40 was FULL so I didn't get out until 4:20. I sat in an airport bar all day because frankly, airport CHILDREN do not suit me. I sat at a table with my laptop and first a diet coke, then a Bloody Mary... finally a SNACK (onion rings... bad choice, but I was badly pouting). Then I went to see if I could get on that 12:40... waiting about an hour for the final word and went BACK to the bar... Tavern ale... and another... chef salad, and yet ANOTHER ale. Can you SEE the calories add up? (in my defense, it is the best airport ale I've found aside from Red Hook ESB, but that, I only see west of the Rockies). The computer battery was dead by this point (the return after trying to get on the plane), so that was what I had (along with reading a story by a friend, which I enjoyed, but infringed not at ALL on my pout-infested drinking... I mean seriously--It was MOTHER'S day and I was STUCK in a bloody airport!)

So then, after long pouting, I get on my plane and find myself in... first class? Eeek gads! I'm not sure I'd ever ridden in first class before (I know I've never paid for it). First class has snacks and cocktails... which are free, and this cheapskate can HARDLY say no to FREE.

So that was two days shot.

The next few were technically okay... except the mind set... I wonder how much my brain depends on weekend rejuvenation and sleep to convince me to do the right thing... I think it must be substantial. Things that have not been tempting for MONTHS suddenly WERE... potato chips and cheeze its from the cupboard, suddenly hugely irresistable. Lunch plans left me starving...

Then Wednesday night I FELT it... Illness falling.

[Not me.  I very rarely resort to drugs, no matter how lousy I feel, but she looks like I felt.]---->

I woke up Thursday morning unable to breath. My throat hurt INSANELY, my nose was leaking CRAP down my throat, and the bite guard I sleep with conspired against my cold—disallowing the THROAT THING that would have kept me BREATHING..---ack, how miserable! So I didn't sleep well.

I worked Thursday, in spite of misery, and the difficulties of keeping a brain running when I feel like crap are monumental... pouting inspires bad eating URGH!

I guess the moral of the story is sometimes it just seems TOO HARD and the best we can do is dust ourselves off and move forward from there. I guess FORTUNATELY, feeling like crap, though it makes me want BAD stuff, is a bit of an appetite dampener, so volume is down, balancing things a little

<--- [also not me, but of the before/after pics I found, this is the closest to the starting and achievable figures, though her arms are more petite than mine would ever be.]

My weigh in this morning was the same as three weeks ago, which FORTUNATELY was the low point (the two weeks in between being UP a little from that... so I am still sitting at a 40 pound loss... and it is time to move forward. Time to stop pointing, and put my ducks in a row. I'd LIKE to lose another 10 by my birthday (June 23—about 5 weeks). And I THINK, after having the scale barely budge for six weeks, that I am in a good position to make that happen. That puts me at my high school graduation weight (still 20 pounds too heavy, but hey) for swimsuit season... and YES swimsuit season matters because my neighbor has a pool, so I spend a fair amount of TIME in one, never mind that nobody but she and her partner, occasionally his kids, and my family, see me. I still hate feeling I am getting tan lines from belly fat rolls (something that kept me in a long top the last two summers—but I'm a dedicated nudist—y'all know that... I want this pesky possibility GONE!)

I measured today—should have been last Saturday, but didn't take the tape measure... hips and butt are both down another inch! *and there was much rejoicing*--that is seven inches off my wide derriere!

I'm glad about that... as with the scale not budging, a little motivation definitely helps.