On this last Thankful Thursday, and Thanksgiving in the United States, it is time to talk just a little about what I am most Thankful for.
Hubby and I, when we were first married in 1991, seemed to take turns being ready to have kids—or rather, when his sister had her first baby when we were first engaged, he got sort of baby-excited. But I think that was because he safely knew I was in no way ready. Then in 1993 my grandpa was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma—a painful bone cancer... and I got it in my head that I wanted him to get to be a great grandparent before he died. Hubby wasn't ready anymore. In fact we really argued about it for a while, but in the end, waited a little longer, but I stayed primed, so the minute he said, 'maybe we can think about it' I started prepping and the minute he said 'okay' I was in.
You know how many times it took? Once. Maybe twice. But that first month it worked... and MAN, it maybe shouldn't have, because once it was done, we dived into a spiral of marital difficulties. See... hubby has some demons... In fact I'd venture to say his legion of them is larger than some small countries. They took a while to get into check... erm... like three years, but never mind...
When we discussed another baby, I was TERRIFIED because I didn't think it would be possible to love another person as much as I loved her.
My son was...erm... Unplanned. We wanted another, but the hubby and I had just sorted out our stuff and decided to give it a try again. I had finally finished my master's thesis and started a brand new job. We just probably would have waited six months to a year if we'd been planning... long enough I could have saved vacation time for maternity leave... long enough that hubby wasn't pissed—he was fairly angry for a while. (hello-this act takes two people).
He was too early. Both were, but the son wasn't 'cooked'. He spent his first night under lights with a feeding tube. He was jaundiced. We had to go to nursing classes because he was a 'lazy eater' so I had to learn tricks to keep him awake long enough to eat.
But his processor is SO MUCH like mine. He's logical—the math comes naturally. As he's gotten older, it is fun to have someone whose sense of humor is so like mine—he's engaged in word play fairly automatically since he was young. He's sarcastic, but relatively good-natured.
The two don't get along particularly well... NoNo hasn't forgiven us for having another child... but they are starting to get along a little better—it has improved steadily for a couple years... about the time my daughter has been getting a little easier for ME to get along with.
Whatever the case... difficulties aside, these are my favorite people—the ones for whom I am most thankful.
And Happy Thanksgiving to all of you in the States. I wish for you exactly the right amount of family and food and just a little too much fun!