I will get to my Sunday Status NaNo Stuff last paragraph, but mostly this is a parenting blog, so feel free to skip ahead if my insecurities aren't a cheerful way to end your weekend.
How many of us had parents we felt were TOTALLY CLUELESS? A fair few, yes? If you didn't, chances are you had a friend or two who had them... Oh, not all were clueless—some were permissive and just let you (and them) get away with stuff. My mom had a weird radar and if she figured anything out was far LESS permissive. Oh, she could be generous in letting me bring a friend of vacation or something—but that was where we could (sort of) be watched. My friend Tam and I had a couple adventures out of town that might have gotten us into a little trouble (in fact one did—her phone number ended up in a stolen car that ended up in a river). But mostly I had to have legitimate arrangements elsewhere to get in much trouble (at least until I got my job that kept me home weekends when my parents went to their lake cabin.)
My point? I think I might be clueless.
I don't lie. I've been known to omit facts, but if somebody flat-out asks me something, I am a really bad liar—red-faced, shaky voiced—dead giveaways. My daughter on the other hand... has a convenient memory. I honestly think she remembers things the way she would have LIKED them to have happened. She's a revisionist, and it can be VERY hard to sort out what is what—especially quite a while later. But STILL, when she swears to me... I believe her.
A few years ago she had some trouble with some friends. I won't get into details, as it's her story, but they did 'an intervention of sorts' and she swears she reformed (and I believe her). Recently however, she was accused of doing some of the same... we've gone over all the evidence, and it looks to me like she is just an easy scapegoat. I went round and round with another mom who swears I'm being snowed, but it's something I can check a lot of the facts on, and they support my daughter. In other words, I believe me kid.
Well now some girls have been harassing her about this thing she supposedly did. It looks like bullying to me (cyber and text), and I keep wanting to take the evidence to the high school and have these girls get in trouble. My daughter just wants it to go away. She's blocked them on Facebook and we called to have their phone numbers blocked so they can't call her. She goes to a DIFFERENT high school, though she is at theirs a fair amount because that is where she does sports and her boyfriend also goes there (and it is where she catches the bus to her high school).
How do I DO this? Do I let her fight the fight when what I WANT to do is squash these girls like bugs? I know letting it 'blow over' will actually have less repercussions in the long run—but there is a part of me that really likes social justice... however, I think at least a COUPLE of these girls really BELIEVE my daughter did what she is being accused of. Still, the ganging up is lousy. And there are a couple girls involved who have NO BUSINESS. In fact one really caused a lot of it because she ACTED, when the girl who felt wronged would normally have TALKED and it probably would have been sorted quickly.
When she started getting these calls, she called and asked for me, but I was in the tub. Her dad wouldn't bring me the phone until she explained... then he asked me for more...
The trouble? He overreacts. In fact overreacting is almost always his first response. He usually eventually calms down, but my daughter often asks me not to tell him stuff. I told him... having been asked, but he was mad I HADN'T talked to him earlier.
Okay, how the hell do I draw THAT line? If I tell him, she will no longer tell ME and then nobody knows. But if I don't tell him he's mad he's out of the loop. He doesn't seem to grasp the importance of there being a parent that will take the secrets and keep them... help, but quietly... or that's how I've seen it... *sigh * It causes some trouble now and again... that I believe in keeping quiet most of the time and he thinks I should always share.
Okay, so enough of my parenting insecurities... Yesterday was a good day, Badger Bashing aside. Hit my 40K mark for NaNoWriMo, so I am down to needing an average of 974 words a day to finish—a relatively normal pace for me. When I am writing, as opposed to editing or querying, I typically write 750-1500 words a day. I DO however, want to finish the book, and 2000 words a day is possibly not quite enough, BUT if I finish with a few holes (leaving notes for the rewrite) I should manage...