Thursday, July 1, 2010

Thursday's Descent

Into Insanity, I mean... Y'all KNOW about Thursdays around here... Delusional... Naked... and TODAY is Thursday of a NEW month (sadly ending my FAVORITE month, but ending to go onto my favorite DAY dampens the blow a bit. Well not a bit... have I told y'all about bit?--I'll get there...)

But for my FIRST feat of Madness

Murder*by*4 had a list of words yesterday that were SHOUTING for a story. So here we go.

Delwin's lamprophonic depone was just getting underway, his erinaceous hair suggesting he might be a pronk, but that was inaniloquence, or even phenakism. Delwin, a rastaquouere from Greece* had been subject to floccinaucinihilipilification, but he'd gone from nudiustertian mungo to mesonoxian limeranographer. His reputation for scopperloit did not make his testimony less believable. In fact the jury found him selcouth. Little did they know by dusk he would be pulveratrocious and suffer tyrotoxism.

* Greece chosen based on definition and blog visit frequency

And if you want to know what all that madness MEANS, remember the super-secret spy blog-reader code? (highlight below for the definitions from Murder*by*4).

Erinaceous: Like a hedgehog
Lamprophony: Loudness and clarity of voice
Depone: To testify under oath
Finnimbrun: A trinket or knick-knack
Floccinaucinihilipilification: Estimation that something is valueless. Proper pronunciation based on Latin: flockə-nowsə-nəkələ-pələ-fək-ation.
Inaniloquent: Pertaining to idle talk
Limerance: An attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic desire.
Mesonoxian: Pertaining to midnight
Mungo: A dumpster diver; one who extracts valuable things from trash
Nihilarian: A person who deals with things lacking importance (pronounce the ‘h’ like a ‘k’).
Nudiustertian: The day before yesterday
Phenakism: Deception or trickery
Pronk: A weak or foolish person
Pulveratricious: Covered with dust
Rastaquouere: A social upstart, especially from a Mediterranean or Latin American country; a smooth untrustworthy foreigner
Scopperloit: Rude or rough play
Selcouth: Unfamiliar, rare, strange, marvelous, wonderful.
Tyrotoxism: To be poisoned by cheese
Widdiful: Someone who deserves to be hanged
Zabernism: The abuse of military power or authority.


Story Board Progress

Isn't it FABULOUS? Know what I totally didn't expect? My refusal to give up the killer. HA! So anyway... the different-colored post-its mostly resemble clues (or actions pointing toward clues) of different suspects. The SIZE doesn't really mean anything... I just had to use both sizes to keep each suspect a different color. Those first two, nearly blank boxes just represent the chapters I've already done... And I sorta like this process, though admittedly, I PLANNED to do it, made the NOTES to do it, then wrote two chapters before I DID it. (partially a desk issues thing, partially a time thing).


Pox on Blue Cross!!!

So I have my 19th wedding anniversary later this year. Last spring I got a notice of an AUDIT from BCBS for my dependents. Fine. There is a list of things to prove my kids are my kids. And a list of things to prove I live with my husband. And only ONE FREAKING BLASTED BLOODY THING they will take as proof we are MARRIED.

For 19 years the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA'S most anal retentive body, the INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE has taken my freaking WORD on the matter, but Blue Cross wants my freaking (need I say missing?) marriage certificate.

Since getting married we have moved 4 times. I am NOT sentimental about that ANYWAY. So at some point, probably 18.5 years ago, the thing got shoved in a box and I HAVE NO CLUE where it is. My irritation though, is that until NOW, I HAVE NEVER NEEDED IT. Why, if the damn GOVERNMENT has record (or believe me, we'd have been reamed on taxes) can this blasted CORPORATE entity refuse to take ANY OTHER EVIDENCE. That is the ONLY PROOF they will take.

While we're AT IT, I am sending a POX on the University of MICHIGAN for AGREEING to this stupidity. And the lesson to ALL OF YOU is if you are setting something up where people need to PROVE something, GIVE THEM MORE THAN ONE WAY!

*cough* rant over


BuNoWriMo ended at midnight. I made my word count (50,846? something like that). The book has holes. It is the way of WriMos, but that is my sixth book complete. I am now turned fully to the Cozy mentioned above.

The BURROW, with this success behind us, plans to start a multi-authored blog ON MONDAY, so watch for us. I take first shift—we have... 6 or 7 of us involved—very different styles, but these are not my favorite people on the planet for nothing. I think you'll love them!


And A Bit of What Y'all Have Been Waiting For!

Aussies are world MASTERS at innuendo. If you have never hung with an Aussie, I would venture to say you've never hung. EVERYTHING has a sexual connotation (I love that about them). The two that are easiest to catch somebody unawares with though, are bit and root.

Bit: noun. Derivation: a bit on the side. (ie somebody you're boinking that you maybe oughtn't be)

Root: verb. Synonyms: shag, screw, 'do' *cough * those are the cleaner ones anyway... this is emphasized by the joke that is more effective orally than written, because of that pesky comma giving it away....

How is a man like a wombat?
(How is a man like a wombat?)

He eats roots and leaves. (you can probably spot where the conspicuous comma goes)

So now you are edjumakated.

HA!  And I need to tally who won the Tartiversary critique... I will let you know tomorrow!

39 comments:

Cruella Collett said...

So now I have the song "Like a Hedgehog" stuck in my brain. You don't know it? It goes a little something like this: "Like a hedgehog. Stung for the very first time..."

Other than that, let me just felicitate you for this estimable presentment of such a splendiferous set of digressions!

Creepy Query Girl said...

wow, ok. I didn't know this was mandatory. *creepy strips down*. There. Your story board is starting to look like something from a cop movie! lol.

M.J. Nicholls said...

Love the blog look. Of course in a few weeks' time, all blogs will look like this. But who cares when it looks this good.

In the UK we don't need a marriage certificate, just a bottle of Buckfast and a carton of condoms. It's the way we do things.

Charmaine Clancy said...

He he, loved today's blog. Thanks to a previous boring workplace with nothing but a dictionary for reading material, I actually knew what floccinaucinihilipilification meant!Plus, being an Aussie, I've dated a few wombats in my time(also explains why cheerleaders are so popular- they're always rootin' for their footy team).

TreeX said...

If they're your favourite people in the world, then what am I? :(

TreeX said...

Alsø wik: Mari, what are you doing up at 3.48?! Those are MY habits you're stealing! -- oh, wait, my post went in at 6.26... Why aren't these comments linked to the originating timezone...?

Hart Johnson said...

Mari- *gigglesnort* I wonder if Digressionism should ALSO adopt Thursday...

CQG-YAY a story board SHOULD look like a cop show, ne? It's for solving a mystery... so GOOD!

Mark-In Idaho you just have to check into a motel room together, but somehow the US has granted undue power to big nasty rotten corporations (and thanks on blog compliments!)

Charmaine-I think I only just put together that you were an Aussie yesterday. I'm only an honorary one, but I sure seem to have FUN with my Aussie friends. That root thing puts a whole new meaning on 'take one for the team' ne?

Joris-I clump you with the Burrowers here--you are an honorary Burrower.

Old Kitty said...

I love your murderby4 piece!!!!! I think the butler did it!

:-)

And with such a fab story board progress you really cannot go wrong and are onto a winner there! Yay!!

My favourite aussie word that gets me giggling is (are?) Thongs = or toe post slippers. LOL!
Take care
x

L. Diane Wolfe said...

We've been married 19 years (as of last May 1) and I probably misplaced our certificate right about the time you did...

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

hahaha! What at a nutty post! LOVE your story board full of post its! Do you make it naked? :o)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That's quite a storyboard you have there!

Will Burke said...

Love the new look! Is your story board in a 3-act structure? Have you already explained it?

LTM said...

nekkidness, more secret code AND a cute little... whatever that is? good stuff~

Hart Johnson said...

OK-SOMEDAY I will write something where the butler really DOES it! teehee and we called those thongs in Idaho when I was growing up, too!

LDW--I know, right? How on EARTH do they expect you to keep track?!

Jessica-I'm pretty much ALWAYS naked, though I made it in my basement, which runs cold... so there are a lot of blankets involved.

Alex, thanks!

Will-erm... three act? *scratches head* Actually, sort of, but not intentionally... the separate boxes are DAYS and each day looks like it will get about 3 chapters. I actually organized by suspect (though some are paired or trioed) "why would this person have done it? what is their secret?"

Leigh-that's a WOMBAT! Aren't they cute?!

Sugar said...

I think I am going to steal your board and sticky idea. I'm at the point where I'm just lost in my story..no idea how to get it going..
*gathering sticky notes*

I am dissapointed in myself.. I ended my challenge at just over 17000 words.. I was planning on being over 50000 but just didn't. *sigh*
BUT I did get 17000 more than I had May 31st :) I plan on reaching my goal in July though. for sure..Thanks for the challenge and inspiration :)

LTM said...

my brother called me a wombat once when we were kids... I got really pissed. Now, not so much. :D

Jan Morrison said...

I like your story board. I have one or five hanging out - little bits of paper flutter to the ground everytime I open my closet. I don't have a story board for True yet but I'm working on a Beat Sheet which is kind of similar. I'm an old mindmapper so all this makes sense. Just not so much into the linearity of it - I like mine round and organic...ooh that sounds vaguely well, you know. Time to get naked. bye.

Hart Johnson said...

Sugar-hope the storyboard works for you! It is pretty darned handy for stories with overlying pieces. And 17K is nothing to sneeze at! My pace for my first book was less than 10K a month, but if you do that EVERY MONTH you get done!

Leigh-they're ADORABLE, aren't they!? And marsupials, which is just a bonus!

Jan-*snicker* I love the idea of plot points following you out of the closet. I am sort of linear, but there are generally three or four lines, and none of them is straight.

*yay for naked!*

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Love your story board! Looks like any of the suspects could have been the killer--even better!

And...really? A marriage cert?! That's nutty. Well, the town where you were married should have a copy--for a fee, I'm sure, though. Good luck with it!

s.w. vaughn said...

LOL Excellent use of those words, especially erinaceous and tyrotoxism. Poor Delwin. :-)

Fabulous storyboard you have there - and I love that wombat joke!

Jayne said...

I am in actual love with your story-board. In fact I have story-board envy! It is fantastic!

Talli Roland said...

Look at all those pretty colours on your storyboard! I tried storyboarding like that once and I had to admit defeat. My mind just doesn't work that way, although I wish it did.

Happy Tartiversary!

Hart Johnson said...

Elizabeth- thanks on the storyboard! And I think I CAN get a copy of the marriage certificate--for a fee, but it annoys me SO BADLY because there has never been ANY other reason to have it. Grrrrrrr.

swv-hey, thanks for coming in! I just loved that list! I couldn't not do anything with the words!

Jayne- storyboard envy! *snort* I love it!

Talli-I've never done one before, but mystery seems to lend itself because you have to have so many LITTLE things, nicely spread. I will have to see if I follow it any better than I do my vague outlines.

Ezmirelda said...

Great post! Congrats on the wordcount. My board of stickynotes looks just like that- I use purple, green, pink and blue! They're not storyboard stickys--just random notes on things I should remember. :)

Southpaw said...

Pretty storyboard, but here a confession of my won. They mess me up, storyboards that is.

Hart Johnson said...

Ezmirelda--that is actually closer to how I am using mine, too--things that seem clever and I don't want to forget. That way I can make my plan for the next few chapters by looking at it (both what needs to happen THAT chapter and what's coming...)

Southpaw--UhOh! I don't want it to mess me up! I'll have to see if it works for me...

Paul "FooDaddy" Brand said...

Wombats is like giant hamsters. And if they ran Blue Cross, they wouldn't have given you any crap. Well, maybe a little, but it washes out easily.

Hart Johnson said...

Eeek Gad! You've GOT IT! We need to lead a campaign to have WOMBATS run Blues Cross!!!! That is BRILLIANCE! Any thoughts of ruling the world, FooDaddy? Because you would TOTALLY ROCK!

February Grace said...

OMG omg omg omg I'm on Watery Tart's BLOGROLL! *thud*

Ow. I think I hurt something. Thank you! I so have to update my blog links like in the next 24 hours if I can see straight to do it.

First of all, I should have told you long ago that you have the best alias name ever. I mean come on. Watery Tart? that is perfect.

2. Shoulda known you were a Wrimo. Love it. How did I miss BuNoWriMo? I will have to think about BRUNoWriMo at some point in the future...

3. My sympathies with BCBS and the U. Don't get me wrong, I love the U to pieces I'd still be blind without them. But their billing dept, damn.

Right now, I'm trying to convince them that I only had one CT scan, of my heart, a couple weeks hence.

They're saying I also had pelvic and abdominal done -two different extra scans- to the tune of about five grand.

Um, no. and if I did, where the friggin hell are my results?

Dealing with the new insurance company we got last year makes me miss BCBS (or just BS for short) at least they paid stuff. The new people, well the procedure is real simple. They get billed, they deny, then you have to pay it...

Maybe if Arthur had hung out here with you he would finally get the hang of Thursdays. Looks like you've got it down pat.

~bru

Helena said...

Hart – Sorry, but I’m way behind schedule on everything so this comment will be covering your last couple entries.

First, huzzah for Mr. Tart’s milestone certificate. Second, my heartfelt sympathy for the fracas between you and BCBS. Ain’t health insurance companies so much fun to deal with?

A multi-authored blog? It’s a great idea, since obviously you’re not busy enough and need more work. Writing novels is nowhere near challenging enough.

And as for your great stuff about blogs and why we writers write them – you got me thinking about my own blog and its honking big deficiencies that I've got to buckle down and address. But I also thought about how it has helped me to sharpen my focus not so much on my writing as on my life. If not for my blog, there are a hell of a lot of things I wouldn’t have tackled this last year. I'm certainly not alone in this. Maybe putting our plans out there on the internet is one way of making us follow through on them. Kinda like having a storyboard for living.

Hart Johnson said...

Bru-what a crack up! I've been on your FOLLOWERS list for a while but something took me back there this week and I thought "Hey, this is clever!"--anyway, happy to include you! How did you KNOW? I am sometimes surprised to stumble in someplace and find I'm there--Is it a notification you can turn on?

And you're HERE? Like A2? This is something we need to pursue. I know there are a ton of writers here, but finding the ones who aren't already famous is difficult, and the ones I know (well in one case, sort of in another, and and unfortunately in the third) write erotica, romance and sci fi-in that order. Nice to meet someone who writes something closer to what I write (or at least READ--not that I don't read a little Sci Fi, but I'd prefer never to talk to this particular woman, if I could avoid it--which is saying something, as I pretty much like everyone.)

Hart Johnson said...

Helena- yours is the SINGLE SOLITARY EXCEPTION I've seen to the 'book focus not working'--I think it's BRILLIANT! Because you talk about Layla in passing now and then, but you are blogging about STUFF you are trying. It is personal (addressing your fears/physical limitations) interesting (trying those far out things)--DON'T change the content! PLEASE! I really do think that is different. I think incorporating some posts about OTHER stuff might fit fine (choose days of the week or something) but I'd hate you to lose what you're doing.

Thanks on the other stuff! The group blog shouldn't actually take a ton of extra time after the initial set up (which sort of is)--I think I will WRITE for there Sunday and take up some time lite thing HERE on Sunday, as that is a day I don't necessarily blog anyway--readership is low, so if I need to skip, that is my day.

February Grace said...

*can't stop laughing*

I'm not in the city but I'm close enough to travel there to be tortured by various departments on a far too regular basis.

How did I know? I sensed a disturbance in the Force...Still think you want to meet me? :D

I'm so sorry you were on my followers list awhile and I didn't get over here sooner. I have seriously been trying to get to/hang out with/scare away everybody. Blame it on the vision- I am, after all, still only partially sighted (but that beats the hell out of blind 24/7 any day of the week)

You'll have a hard time getting rid of me now. And that is where the 'evil cackle' would go, if I were capable of producing one.

~bru

Hart Johnson said...

I tend to visit blogs and follow if someone either comments or follows, but the side bar thing takes a repeat offense or else stumbling across the blog through some other route and finding something I want to keep track of, so that FORMER is what happened this week. Sadly, the SIDEBAR is about 99% of what I visit or it would just be too much, so people who AREN'T there yet, get missed. Ah well, I will know now, and it sounds like we might have a GREAT time--you're up for the Naked World Domination thing, I take it?

Hart Johnson said...

erm... latter, I mean... Maybe through Angela?

Chary Johnson said...

I loved it, Tart. Your post was wonderfully random and insane. Bravo!

*bows to her nakedness*

*uhm, I meant randomness* :D

Hart Johnson said...

Chary, You KNOW I've adopted Digressionism as Religion, and Thursday IS a HOLY DAY, so far as that's concerned... *snort*

Ellie said...

I had to look at my coffee after reading the first paragraph...wake up, was my first thought and the caffeine isn't working, lol!

I love your story board, I may have to borrow that idea, I have seen one somewhere else. It is
a great device!

I look forward to the blog; I didn't do as well with the challenge, but I did write more. A semi success~

Enjoy your naked Thursday ;-D

February Grace said...

Um, I think you were addressing the 'naked world domination' thing to me? LOL *blush*

World domination, maybe. Naked, not so much.

I am a 10 on the introversion scale...but maybe I could get over it! LOL

:)