Monday, October 26, 2009

Pre-Phrenzied Phobias


Last night I had what can only be described as anxiety dreams. You know the kind... you show up to work naked, class with no pants (which never seemed to bother me, oddly). You have a test and have never been to class before (this was my early iteration). For me my most recent variety is the restaurant I am waitressing at is slammed and I can't even seem to get one drink out to them. Do you know what last night's anxiety dream entailed? Blogging. Blogging about NaNoWriMo no less. I think it is conclusive proof that I am caught up in the frenzy.

So let's examine the matter. Why would signing up for something that only amounts to 5,000 words different in a month than I already try to do anyway stress me out?

Is it the Big Brother effect?


The fact of the matter is, a nudist rather parades her stuff all the time anyway. I am constantly flashing. Look at me! But you know what? It is only when I'm naked. When I go in for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, you don't hear about it. So maybe it isn't so much the audience nature, as the CONSTANT nature. That waitressing dream was like that. It was the relentlessness that made it suddenly hard to handle.

Is it because the blind are leading the blind?


I've convinced at least two friends, possibly more, to do this with me. Do I know what I'm doing? Not at all. So what do I do? Pray on innocent victims. One assures me she has considered it before, and the other is part of my writer's group who I would VERY MUCH like to have the confidence of a done novel behind her because she is working on something BRILLIANT but often has life get in the way (and lack of appropriate hardware). So I don't feel terribly guilty on that front.

Is it the frantic pace?

I think this might be it. I just spent a weekend at that pace. 2000 words each on Friday and Saturday, and 2500 last night. It is a doable pace, but normally I settle down for my writing time and start with a SUDOKU or something... sort of relax my brain... Oddly, after Friday's acupressure session, I don't feel I HAVE to have that to write (concentration was on relaxing and letting creativity flow), but maybe I do have to have that so the writing doesn't get to me--write first, SUDOKU after... Jury is still out on that one.

Whatever the case, I can see how this who process is a major group rush and why it seems to be addictive for the people who try it.

4 comments:

Tundiel said...

*glomps Tami* Aw, thanks for the anonymous mention....

It IS rather exposing, this NaNoWriMo thing, isn't it? There won't be time for editing and revising, so what you write is sort of warts and all. Even a nudist would think twice.*winks*

I'm laughing my head off here. I think I've bypassed the panic and gone straight to the realms of 'Stuff It I Don't Care If I Balls It Up I'm Having A Go Anyway' land. *snorts*

Watery Tart said...

Good for you, Tara! That is exactly the attitude you need! (and you will not go Balls up).

Galen Kindley--Author said...

You know, it does seem kinda odd this would bug you. I don’t know why it would. You’ve plenty of talent and energy for it. Odd. Maybe, subconsciously, you think you should be doing something else and it’s burbling out this way. Dunno.

Best Regards, Galen

Imagineering Fiction Blog

Aleta said...

I promise to read your endeavors. I'm looking forward to it, in fact. Tickled that you're participating in it, but don't mosey over to my blog looking to see what I'm doing. I'll be *happy sigh* NOT BLOGGING EVERY DAY. Lol.