Thursday, April 8, 2010

Honoring Aitches

JK Rowling and the H<-->J Reciprocity Conspiracy [brought to you by Delusional Thursday]

JK Rowling has an H-Fetish (and who can blame her really?) but what you probably don't KNOW, is it's all about ME! You see Jo and I go way back with this brain connection—I've channeled her with some regularity for about 5 years now... I've blogged about it before—me using Orion as the daddy of Sirius and Reggie, and Cygnus as the daddy of the Black sisters LONG before the Black Family tree was published (okay, maybe about 3 months before... still, it was before)... Her having Harry wind up NAKED when he dies—I mean WHO, other than ME could be responsible for such things?

But there are more clues in the simple swap of H's and J's...

Jo starts with J. Hart starts with H. (see, this is good, right?)

Jo named her principle character in her first book HARRY (with an H).
Hart named her principle character JESSIE (with a J).  Are you buying this yet?

Jo has Hedwig, Hagrid, Hermione (not to mention a Hippogriff)
Hart has a Jack, a Jim...

But see all this is strictly minor evidence PROVEN when she used “Best Laid Plans” on page 4 of Deathly Hallows, and AWRY on page 11—my 2nd novel-length work, finished on the day before the release of Deathly Hallows, and so WRITTEN at the same time was called Best Laid Plans Sometimes Go Awry.

So there you have it.

Honoring Hope

Fellow Tart (though she's fruity, while I'm wet) got a HUGE honor yesterday. Writer's Unboxed (linked in my sidebar) is a collaborative effort of Agents, Publishers, and Authors (some real bigwigs, including the likes of Donald Maass). They have a SINGLE unpublished author they like to include in their ranks for their pre-published perspective, and HOPE was just chosen—out of all the three gazillion pre-published writers, and somebody I KNOW was picked!!! (and you know what, Hope's real name is JAN. See, that H<-->J conspiracy thickens).

Go read Tartitude. You will see why her voice was so loved, though I suspect her ability to NETWORK as an UNKNOWN played a role—the article mentioned her interview with Laura Kinsale, a famous author—so she undoubtedly impressed more and more impressive people to work up to that coup (smart will ALWAYS help, and it doesn't hurt to NETWORK smart as well as WRITING smart), but she writes SASSY too, which, you know... is a Tart thing.

So Hope-Jan the Tart, Hart Johnson the Tart says WELL DONE! (you see how I'm trying to catch her coat tails don't you? That's one of these tricksey things that isn't actually cheating in the Networking world)


So hopefully I haven't annoyed my friend, as Jan and I connected aside from the Tart thing, having similar real life interests...

High Hopes vs. Hi-Ho Hi-Ho

This writing business can really get us down... rejections are downright depressing, aren't they? And I KNOW 95% of people get in frontward, the Querying route.... improve the writing, improve the writing, improve the writing. And it can't be DONE without adequately improving the writing. But then what?

Hope is hard to maintain in that world. And I SWEAR there are other options. They aren't normal or common, and they aren't easy... in fact they are downright unpredictable, or other people would use them more.

I have no CLUE how Hope got her gig—they mentioned essays she'd sent, so maybe there was an application process-- either that or somebody recommended her (which is highly plausible—I mean seriously, the woman can WRITE), but her SIDE WRITING got her that gig--not her book and query, and I guarantee (because I'm in charge of these things) when her novel is done and polished, one of those agents she is now WORKING WITH will read it, or at LEAST will look at her as a referral, rather than a cold contact.

It likewise looks like I might get in some backward route through my SIDE WRITING. My route is different... a reader recognized the appropriateness of my voice for a genre I had never considered WRITING and suggested I give it a shot. I am SO GRATEFUL she did. She writes in the genre and KNEW the required voice and just SPOTTED IT. All I had to be was me. (and prolific, and maintain deadlines—yes, there was a spotting of the habits as well as the style--I may do a lot of things I'm not supposed to, but I do a lot I am supposed to, too... the FOMS and all).

But my point is (yes... I STILL try to have a point on Delusional Thursday) I doubt those side doors say 'Tarts only", no matter HOW MUCH I'd like it if they did.

So keep your hopes HIGH—or you may feel like giving up. But I think some hard side work can really pay off, sometimes when you least expect it.

And because you've been so tolerant of my insanity...

A HUNK, and tres HINEY's with a message

Man, is that LEGAL? *fans self*

And something we can all get behind. *cough *


Jan Morrison said...

you crack me up kiddo! way too early in my day for such sights so I covered my eyes.

Not Hannah said...

I am TOTALLY behind (ahem) your theory in re: Rowling. It makes total sense to me (although I suspect the allergy meds are talking.)

I...Smith is hot.


It's afternoon here in the UK so I am wide awake to see that photo which made me blush as my grandaughter was sat beside me. I didn't mind her seeing it, but her watching me look at
Enjoyed the read, very interesting as usual.
have a nice day.

Not enough hours! said...

I alwayes knew you were chanelling Jo. *nods* Yup!

And Hart the Tart will one day release Conspiracy with the edited scenes reinstated (they make up the soul of the book).

Sugar said...

*clears throat* yup..I totally believe you on the conspiracy thing. H fetishes are all around! Love ya!
The um..pic..with the (I think that's what the ad is for) was..yummylisious!

gae polisner said...

oh lordy, lord, lord. I read the first three paragraphs and scrolled (fingers trembling) down.

GOOD MORNING! I absolut-ely adore him.

oh, and congrats to Hope!

and, look, I've got an aitch in my name!:

Gae H. Polisner
The Pull of Gravity, FSG, spring 2011

Watery Tart said...

Jan-covered your eyes but peeked, right?

NH: allergy meds open all SORTS of possibilities, don't they?

Yvonne-*snicker* oh, the things people don't know their grannies enjoy...

Natasha-I hope you're right, my twin... I liked the long version, myself...

Sugar-YAY for fetishes! erm... I mean H's...

Gae- *giggles at impatience* I'm going to have trouble keeping up with demand if you people are all just comin' in here for the pictures!

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

You and DOES make sense in a funny way! Or..maybe I need more coffee.

I think lots of people get into publishing via unconventional methods. I know 2 bloggers who got agents via their blog and Twitter...Jody Hedlund and Katie Ganshert.

I was pulled from the slush pile twice, so that works, too! Not recommended, though.

Mystery Writing is Murder

The Alliterative Allomorph said...

Hehehehe. Thanks for making me smile. YET again :)

hope101 said...

Hart, the Johnson Tart — oh sorry, did I get that wording a little wrong? — how could I possibly mind such a nice tribute? Especially when it comes along with the promise of a stiff drink in the near future.;)

I seriously have no idea *why* I was picked from so many. I'm just smart enough to be grateful, and to not say, in befuddlement, "But I thought you people were so wise."

At some point I think WU plans to post one or more of my essays and then you can judge for yourself. (If they don't, I probably will, just because I like them.)

As far as your own route goes — because this is, after all, all about you — how neat! I've seen your FB statuses, of course, but had no idea of the underlying story. Kudos to whoever steered you on the right path, and congratulations!! :)

B. Miller said...

Hahaha! Hart, your posts never fail to make me snicker and sometimes laugh right out loud. I'll head over and check out Tartitude today.

Watery Tart said...

Elizabeth-well I'm glad YOU think it makes sense! *snicker* I get the blog, but TWITTER? Seriously? Just super efficient with the marketing, or super clever?

AA: THANK YOU! (you make me smile too--heading over shortly)

Jan-glad you didn't mind me 'making an example of you' teehee And THANK YOU! I keep not wanting to jinx things, but I'm too excited...

Watery Tart said...

B. you snuck in there on me! (or maybe I'm just slow) but YES, definitely check out Tartitude!

Raquel Byrnes said...

Great post and congratulations to your friend. What a boon!

Patricia Stoltey said...

I totally get it.

And I'm still chuckling over the photos at the bottom (haha) of your post.

Watery Tart said...

Raquel-thank you! I'm sure Jan thanks you, too!

Patricia-teehee Glad I'm not alienating too many by being so bad... It's sort of a Tart's job though, isnt' it?

Kassy with a K said...

Speaking of rejection (though it was only a passing mention, really) I will not be venturing to Ann Arbor this summer. I'm kind of devastated. :( I guess I just need to figure out what the "side writing" is in grad school version before I don't get accepted to any grad schools either.

Anonymous said...

hehe I made Miss7 move away before I scrolled down the rest of your post. Thank goodness I did. There would have been some embarrassing explaining to do! :o)) Well done!

Creative Chronicler said...

So glad I didn't stop by while I was at work, everyone would have wondered what made me laugh. Love the post & the pictures!

Lola Sharp said...

I Absolutely love this post! I'll take my , um, vodka straight up. ;o)

Congrats to Hope!

Kierah Jane Reilly said...

Ok, who's the Absolut guy? He reminds me of Smith from SITC. Oh, and I had a bunch of stuff to say about the rest of your post, but I can't stop thinking about that guy. I'm sorry, did you say something?

Wanda said...

You so humorous. Love your post! And where do you find the pics :)

Watery Tart said...

Kas---BOOOOOO! I want you to come to Ann Arbor for summer! You will find a grad school that is a good match though--keep in mind you want one that teaches you how to do what you want to--it doesn't have to be the most impressive of all of them (my grad degree was from Portland State--good, not great, by reputation--the REASON is because they TEACH instead of researching, when in reality, that is BETTER for the students)

Niki *giggles* glad Miss7 missed her daily corruption...

CC: *snort* Yeah, that happens sometimes... laughing out loud. It's REALLY embarrassing when you're laughing so hard you snort coffee onto your monitor or fall out of your chair.

Lola-Bonus points for use of Innuendo for you!!!

Kierah-several have said 'Smith' so I think you're right. I just knew I wanted one!

Wanda-Thank you! I actually just do google image searches, though I've gotten a virus doing it, so I try to be careful. It is the creative wording of what I am looking for... teehee.