Sunday, March 7, 2010

Mr. Tart Speaks

To All You Distracting People,

I'm fed up and it's time to put my foot down. We have a basement full of papers—supposed WRITING paraphernalia—why anybody would keep a stack of letters that says we don't want your book is beyond me, a bedroom full of books that need reading, clothes that are out of season, and art projects made by filthy children ten years ago, a laundry room full of decorations from some other season (though the Christmas lights are still outside)... This 'Tart' of yours has work to do, and I'm not letting her sit at the computer again until she does it.

Depending on what she gets done today, maybe I will be less of a miserable butthead tomorrow.

Mr. Tart

8 comments:

Jan Morrison said...

ooh oooh Mr. Tart - I like your mastering tone! Would you be available to come up to my house - my partner doesn't give a care about the housework but I thought you might stand over me with that bat until I got some work done on my WIP? Woooodja? Better yet, you could get me to get my tax poop together (only three years behind). That would be great. OK, I await your answer, master. (just like on I Dream of Jeannie only he really was a butt-head. I don't know why she put up with him. Just her luck I guess.)

Liz said...

I think Mr. Tart and Mr. Wench should form a support group--they could have an official meeting place called The Bar. Although This particular Wench is going to lighten up on the writing a bit---at least until 6 more hours are officially added to the day.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Oh, gosh....sounds a little like our bonus room over the garage...

I've decided to bring in reinforcements. I'm getting the cleaning service (Maid in Heaven) to come over in a couple of days. Once a quarter, $75 a pop, but BOY does everything sparkle! If Mrs. Tart has a birthday coming up? It's always a thoughtful gift. :)

Elizabeth
Probably One of the More-Distracting People :)

Watery Tart said...

Jan, I'm packing him up to ship to your house as we speak. Though he is no help at all on the writing--he doesn't find that a good use of time. It is the cleaning where he becomes a task master.

ET--definitely. That support group could potentially save all our sanity!

Lighten up on the writing?! ACK! Blasphemy! (though I do know your other obligations have more dependents, so I can understand, even if I couldn't DO it.)

Elizabeth-I WISH somebody else could do it, but I have real issues with what can stay and what can go (hubby would clean it, but he would chuck a TON of stuff I feel is important!)... though the wall cleaning the bedroom got today might have been nicer from a distance...

And you're the good kind of distracting, so it's all good. I just had to stay off the computer most of the day.

Rayna M. Iyer said...

Hey Mr. Tart, nice to finally make your acquaintance.
I thought you were the responsible person around the house. Why can't you do something creative like paper the basement room with all those letters, and create an art gallery with those pictures, and let Ms. Tart do what she does best - write.
Just a suggestion,
Her Thursday Twin

Marie said...

Clearly the nicotine patch is not working. ;) Hang in there.

Watery Tart said...

Natasha, he's a minimalist, so papering with rejection letters probably won't fly...

Marie--It was better by the day's end, but yeah... some days the gum doesn't quite cut it.

Patricia Stoltey said...

I love that. Your post made me look around my office (the one I've been promising to clean up for months) and laugh out loud.