|Look at this teeny tiny tortoise!!!|
You know... I really identify with tortoises. Some astrology substitutes a tortoise for the crab in cancer, so maybe this is why. Tortoises go SLOW, but if you'll remember the tortoise and the hare... it is the tortoise who keeps going without getting distracted. This is a good thing. Tortoises ARE inclined to hide in their shells if they don't like what's going on, but that is sort of the way with writers, too, eh?
And then looking for images, I kept running across all these pics of this tortoise and this hippo that are best buds! Aren't they fabulous!?
Talk Talks to Toast Man (POWDERED Toast Man that is)
This is a bit of a coup on my part. Powdered Toastman is difficult to pin down (at least if you don't catch him by surprise, but I managed to get him to talk to me recently.
Tart: At what point did you learn you were a superhero? When you were a wee babe? Somewhere in the awkwardness of adolescence?
Toast: When I was about 5 and I farted cinnamon sugar.
Tart: Does being a superhero help you get chicks? By which I mean girls, because chicks in a literal sense, I'd imagine, you could just buy, and I can't help but think a superhero has no real advantage there...
Toast: I don't get any girls. Most girls aren't attracted to a guy with bread for a head unless they have a weird fetish.
Tart: And the name... Powdered Toast Man... were the other superhero names taken? Or is there something about your superpowers that makes this fitting?
Toast: You haven't seen my youtube video? If you need some powdered sugar on your toast, I will be there.
Tart: And is there a romantic counterpart to Powdered Toast Man? A Lois Lane to your Superman? Do your superhero abilities help you do anything kinky?
Toast: Why do you ask? Do you want to be Mrs. Powdered Toast Man? I can get very kinky but I've been told that this is a family show so I can't share. Stop by my house if you want to know the details.
Tart: As a representative of toast, tell me... which do you prefer to be covered in: butter, jam or peanutbutter?
Toast: Jam is too sticky. Peanut butter actually gives my skin a nice shine. Strangley enough I am allergic to butter.
Tart: I notice you made some guest appearances on Ren and Stimpy back in the day. Do they still pay you royalties when those come on the air? If so, what have you done with that income over the years?
Toast: I was actually quite drunk when I signed that contract so I screwed myself out of any royalties. Ren does give me 10% of his drug dealings though so that's good.
Tart: Do they ever talk about casting you for a movie with real people? Who would play you?
Toast: There was talk about 10 years ago about possibly doing a movie but I haven't heard any since then. I would want Dustin Diamond to play me, I'm sure he needs the work.
Tart: Do you have any embarrassing habits you'd be willing to share?
Toast: I still suck my thumb occasionally but only when I'm nervous or horny.
Well there you have it! You saw it HERE!
And finally... I MISS TALLI ROLAND!
She's had a busy year, being a new mom and all, and I've had a busy year being overwhelmed, but I was glad for this chance to look in on what she's up to.
Blurb: Thirty-something Emma Beckett has always looked down on 'the glass is half full' optimists, believing it's better to be realistic than delusional. But when she loses her high-powered job and fiancé in the same week, even Emma has difficulty keeping calm and carrying on.
With her world spinning out of control and bolstered by a challenge from her best friend, Emma makes a radical decision. From here on in, she'll behave like Pollyanna: attempting to always see the upside, no matter how dire the situation.
Can adopting a positive attitude give Emma the courage to build a new life, or is finding the good in everything a very bad idea?
(Love the sound of this! I tend to be a bit of a starry-eyed optimist, so I am all for everybody giving it a whirl)