So today I have one explainer and two words of wisdom... well more than two words... but two main points of wisdom... or maybe it is two warnings. Anyway... Here goes.
So you know how I know everything? Seriously. I do. Just ask me.
And you know how this is my third year doing Blogging A to Z? So I already know HOW, right? I mean, duh. I've done this two other times.
But see... This is the first year there have been FIVE Sundays in the month. Now don't get mad at five. It's my favorite number. But it just didn't occur to me until MONDAY that there was going to have to be a SUNDAY, and it REALLY never occurred to me to go look and see that the consensus was that would be the FIRST Sunday... So I'm a day behind.
This wasn't my ONLY A to Z Fail... I, in spite of promoting it, failed to sign up until Monday, too. Ah, well... By this coming Monday, I will be caught up.
I am not talking about anybody specifically right now, so much as pinpointing a really BAD impulse. Relationships are hard. What you DO NOT want to do when something goes wrong in a relationship is put a bunch of nastiness in your Facebook status. I see people do this all the time, and it is 1) CHILDISH, 2) unproductive, 3) a serious additional obstacle to things getting better, 4) fuel for the rumor mill, 5) Makes the POSTER look worse than any slight they might have received.
Have you ever heard the saying, “When you throw a little mud, you lose a little ground.”? This is a true statement.
You know what ELSE you should never do? Argue with someone who posts something mean. If they start it, block them for a while and let it die. They are the one who looks like an idiot. If YOU started it, however unintentionally, apologize, THEN drop it.
These things can take on lives of their own and it is never good.
A person ALSO should never argue with a review. I think if there is a serious question to the author in a review, it would be okay to answer, but ANY REVIEW, positive or negative... just gracefully watch it go by. I watched a poor young author friend get lambasted by a Mr. Nastiness man this week: she gave a suggested book to read to show that she had indeed researched what he was saying she was being an idiot about and now this guy is stalking her everywhere saying rotten things.
I understand her impulse to argue she was in fact accurate in her presentation, but this situation will never get anyone anywhere positive. It's impossible.
Even positive reviews... if it is on the thread, then thanking the reviewer makes OTHER reviewers think they are being monitored. It will bring out more positive and negative, but will likely squash those honest reviews that are on middle ground. If it is a friend and you'd like to thank them in private--by all means. But not publicly--those reviews are for readers, and most readers are smart enough to weed legitimate from hater stuff.
It feels funny to be advising moderation. It isn't something I normally condone. But this internet life never really disappears, so it is probably best not to air our dirty laundry here.