Wednesday, September 7, 2011

First Insecurity Blanket

So we are venturing into this fabulous brainchild of Alex's... a post (from a big group of us every first Wednesday) to support each other through the insecurities of writing... by SHARING (and where we can, debunking) all these insecurities we feel, hopefully we can help others...

Insecurities are things that I have a history of denial about... It's not that I don't have them... it is just that my abilities in the domain of the delusion are vast.

But perhaps my delusions might be helpful... perhaps you TOO can be delusional...


So let's start with.... The Conspiracy of Silence

When you throw your work out there... and hear NOTHING... is it a scathing declaration of unworthiness? Do they HATE it? Even when it's... you know... your MOTHER? It seems like often when I share... I get... you know... nothing...

PARANOID me says: ACK! I'm UNWORTHY!!!! They love me and so are TOO AFRAID to say how bad it is!

But see, delusional me says: People have LIVES. They are BUSY! I'm not the most important thing in their lives! (and you KNOW how delusional THAT is!)

*cough*

erm...

Seriously though. I get deeply into these 'why isn't everybody as concerned with my stuff as I am?' moments... And in reality, I just need a reality check... People really ARE  busy and sometimes my timing sucks, even when initially, there wasn't a conflict when I first asked. Stuff comes up. It's not about me. MY life may be all about me, but sadly, not everybody else's is...

er... yeah...

Here are the other participants. I encourage you to go visit them, too!

39 comments:

Siv Maria said...

Nice post. Thanks for sharing your insecurities. Mine seem to be running at a all time high lately. A nice cuddly blanket seems to help :)

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Waiting for feedback is enough to make anyone feel insecure! Thanks for sharing that...it's good to know others feel the same.

Al said...

Paranoid me speaks far too loudly and far too often!

Carolyn Abiad said...

Silence is the worst! I can take any kind of criticism,(I can!) but silence only makes me crazy.

Hart Johnson said...

Siv-sorry your insecurities are running so high! Hopefully there is a boost of confidence on the way!

Elizabeth-it does help, doesn't it? That's why I love blogging so much.

Al-well with spy novels, probably that paranoia is helpful, eh?

Carolyn-yeah, I can take most of it, too... it's harder if it's vague, but I definitely prefer criticism to nothing at all...

Tonja said...

In my writing class, sometimes we go around the circle and read aloud a few lines or a few minutes of our writing...with no feedback. One of my classmates commented that this was the worst - when the words hang in the air in silence. I agree.

SP Sipal said...

If you all are doing a blog hop for insecure writers, that includes every writer I have ever known! Especially me. Great idea. :-)

Old Kitty said...

I always get impatient when waiting for feedback!! I'm like "hey I am the centre of the universe and the needs of me outweigh the needs of the many!!!" Ahem.

Then I get all guilty and feel very silly!

But I say it's all very NAKED behaviour!!! It's human! Take care
x

Creepy Query Girl said...

I think self doubt along with insecurity, dissapointment and downright dispair are pretty much par for the course with most writers on their journey to publication. What a great way to support this community! great post!

Will Burke said...

Damn inconsiderate people with their own lives! Would it kill them to use a sick day to read your work? I'll bet a lot of us have used sick days to write.

L.G.Smith said...

I've got work out now with someone and it's driving me nuts. The longer it goes the more my imagination starts to work -- they hate it/they love it/ they had no idea I was that messed up and could write something so weird. :P

Karen Walker said...

Oh, I can so live in the delusional world inside my own head. I am working very hard to allow those thoughts to just leave and focus on what's in front of me. Writing seems to be taking a back seat to everything these days.
Karen

Doralynn Kennedy said...

Very well done. Creatively written and funny. That's a winning combo. Now need for insecurity here. Loved this: People have LIVES. They are BUSY! I'm not the most important thing in their lives! (and you KNOW how delusional THAT is!)

*cough*

erm... lol.

Hart Johnson said...

Tonja-oh, that would be hard! Out loud would make it that much worse, I think. I had a short story class in college we did pieces out loud with feedback, and that was bad enough!

Susan-join us! It's the first Wednesday every month!

Jenny-I know, right!? teehee

Katie-Insecurity is, indeed, the norm, I think...

Will--Perfect solution! I will make sure to suggest that!

LG-so hard to wait, eh?

Karen-very good to focus on what's in front of us. It can be so hard not to let our imagination run away!

Hart Johnson said...

Doralynn-welcome! And thank you!

Michael Offutt said...

Yeah...dunno how I feel about silence. Would I rather have feedback even if it was negative as opposed to silence? Hmmmm. I have no answers for this.

Johanna Garth said...

LOL, my own mother JUST finished Losing Beauty. It took her three months to finish and then another month to tell me she loved it! My current mantra is "My book and writing is the center of my world, not anyone else's." To me it's all so very important, to everyone else it's just entertainment.

ViolaNut said...

I swear I was already planning on typing up your feedback today. Honest. Cross my heart and hope to be even damn busier than I already am... ;-)

Hart Johnson said...

Michael-the negative DOES take some getting used to, plus some of the reinforcement that it improves the work...

Johanna-too funny--yeah, I've had stuff I've never heard on... from my mom...

Leanne-I swear I wasn't intending to pick on you (you weren't the only silence there and I knew you were working on it--there were 'no response' cases too--you told me where you were, which isn't actual silence!)

M Pax said...

I think delusions are a must in this business. That's a very good one, but I don't think it's that delusional. I think there's a lot of truth in it. People just forget and are mindless. They don't mean anything by it ... most times. :)

Arlee Bird said...

I was going to join in this blogfest, but I was too afraid that no one would read my entry. Actually I had a guest poster today talking about Harry Potter (oh, maybe you should check it out!).

I think your conclusions are spot on. So much goes on and it's difficult to pick and choose what to do. I guess we just put ourselves out there and if someone listens then just great. And if they don't, well then that's just the way it is. The point is to never give up--maybe change tactics, but don't just outright quit what we love.


Lee
Tossing It Out

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think I waver between the two. Guess that means sometimes I waffle as well.

Laura said...

Paranoid me always wins... I like to stamp my foot :)
Lx

The Golden Eagle said...

The Paranoid voice sounds familiar . . . LOL.

Helena said...

Me paranoid? Delusional? Suffering from a persecution complex?
Okay, so maybe sometimes...

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Paranoid. Sadly, I'm sure most of it is justified.

historywriter said...

So what's this signing up thing? The box was a little intimidating. Maybe I'm paranoid. :>

Hart Johnson said...

Mary-I'm all for delusions myself!

Lee-I will head over! (this IS a good blogfest--and there is still time!)

Alex-you know I have to call you waffle from now on, don't you?

Laura-No! Don't be paranoid!

GE--fight it!

Helena--that is your spy training betraying you!

Diane, not at all justified!

janet-signing up means committing to doing this insecurity thing first Wed. of each month, but also new followers, so it's all good!

M.J. Fifield said...

I am very familiar with the Conspiracy of Silence and I hate it. I tend to go with the Paranoid Me reaction but I'm well acquainted with Delusional Me.

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

I wish I was more grounded and delusional like you.
Nice post.
xoRobyn

Summer Ross said...

Great post. My irrational side is always coming out.

Heather M. Gardner said...

You mean it's not all about us? That sucks. I am very paranoid. And that stupid saying? No news is good news? Is just bull.
Thanks for sharing.
HMG

Lynda R Young said...

haha yep, I can so relate to this too. The publishing industry is notorious for its lack of speed.

Kari Marie said...

I'm not sure which is harder dealing with the silence (and all the inferences my brain makes) or being patient and waiting. I'm horrible with both. Delusions ARE essential. Somedays the delusions are what gets me out of bed.

Caledonia Lass said...

Hi there, I'd like to cash this reality check please. Thanks!
I'm just as delusional. I think... oh gawd! I sent out the book to a dozen people and only 2 responded! Okay, well dorkus, you did say it was a rough draft and that you'd be sending off a polished version in a few weeks. Who wouldn't wait? Not everyone wants to read the same thing over and over again like you do.
That's me talking to me, by the way.
I think I'm going to like this support group. :D

L'Aussie said...

Hi Hart! It certainly takes a long time once you send your work out there. Now your childings are back at school no doubt you'll be slamming away at those keys.

Denise

Shannon said...

Stopping by for The Insecure Writer’s Support Group.

Excellent insecurity. If there is such a thing. I like to fill the silence with singing. Loud singing. :)

Thanks for sharing!

Michelle Gregory said...

glad to have found another insecure writer. and darn, i thought it was all about me.

Kim Mullican said...

I prefer delusional! My book has been for sale for about 72 hours and I've sold 4 copies. I delightfully excited that I've sold 4 copies.

And...to bolster my elation, I received an email from a stranger telling me she couldn't put my book down. I almost fell off my chair!

Great thing you've got going here!