Insecurities are things that I have a history of denial about... It's not that I don't have them... it is just that my abilities in the domain of the delusion are vast.
But perhaps my delusions might be helpful... perhaps you TOO can be delusional...
When you throw your work out there... and hear NOTHING... is it a scathing declaration of unworthiness? Do they HATE it? Even when it's... you know... your MOTHER? It seems like often when I share... I get... you know... nothing...
PARANOID me says: ACK! I'm UNWORTHY!!!! They love me and so are TOO AFRAID to say how bad it is!
But see, delusional me says: People have LIVES. They are BUSY! I'm not the most important thing in their lives! (and you KNOW how delusional THAT is!)
*cough*
erm...
Seriously though. I get deeply into these 'why isn't everybody as concerned with my stuff as I am?' moments... And in reality, I just need a reality check... People really ARE busy and sometimes my timing sucks, even when initially, there wasn't a conflict when I first asked. Stuff comes up. It's not about me. MY life may be all about me, but sadly, not everybody else's is...
er... yeah...
Here are the other participants. I encourage you to go visit them, too!
37 comments:
Nice post. Thanks for sharing your insecurities. Mine seem to be running at a all time high lately. A nice cuddly blanket seems to help :)
Waiting for feedback is enough to make anyone feel insecure! Thanks for sharing that...it's good to know others feel the same.
Paranoid me speaks far too loudly and far too often!
Silence is the worst! I can take any kind of criticism,(I can!) but silence only makes me crazy.
Siv-sorry your insecurities are running so high! Hopefully there is a boost of confidence on the way!
Elizabeth-it does help, doesn't it? That's why I love blogging so much.
Al-well with spy novels, probably that paranoia is helpful, eh?
Carolyn-yeah, I can take most of it, too... it's harder if it's vague, but I definitely prefer criticism to nothing at all...
In my writing class, sometimes we go around the circle and read aloud a few lines or a few minutes of our writing...with no feedback. One of my classmates commented that this was the worst - when the words hang in the air in silence. I agree.
If you all are doing a blog hop for insecure writers, that includes every writer I have ever known! Especially me. Great idea. :-)
I always get impatient when waiting for feedback!! I'm like "hey I am the centre of the universe and the needs of me outweigh the needs of the many!!!" Ahem.
Then I get all guilty and feel very silly!
But I say it's all very NAKED behaviour!!! It's human! Take care
x
I think self doubt along with insecurity, dissapointment and downright dispair are pretty much par for the course with most writers on their journey to publication. What a great way to support this community! great post!
I've got work out now with someone and it's driving me nuts. The longer it goes the more my imagination starts to work -- they hate it/they love it/ they had no idea I was that messed up and could write something so weird. :P
Very well done. Creatively written and funny. That's a winning combo. Now need for insecurity here. Loved this: People have LIVES. They are BUSY! I'm not the most important thing in their lives! (and you KNOW how delusional THAT is!)
*cough*
erm... lol.
Tonja-oh, that would be hard! Out loud would make it that much worse, I think. I had a short story class in college we did pieces out loud with feedback, and that was bad enough!
Susan-join us! It's the first Wednesday every month!
Jenny-I know, right!? teehee
Katie-Insecurity is, indeed, the norm, I think...
Will--Perfect solution! I will make sure to suggest that!
LG-so hard to wait, eh?
Karen-very good to focus on what's in front of us. It can be so hard not to let our imagination run away!
Doralynn-welcome! And thank you!
Yeah...dunno how I feel about silence. Would I rather have feedback even if it was negative as opposed to silence? Hmmmm. I have no answers for this.
LOL, my own mother JUST finished Losing Beauty. It took her three months to finish and then another month to tell me she loved it! My current mantra is "My book and writing is the center of my world, not anyone else's." To me it's all so very important, to everyone else it's just entertainment.
I swear I was already planning on typing up your feedback today. Honest. Cross my heart and hope to be even damn busier than I already am... ;-)
Michael-the negative DOES take some getting used to, plus some of the reinforcement that it improves the work...
Johanna-too funny--yeah, I've had stuff I've never heard on... from my mom...
Leanne-I swear I wasn't intending to pick on you (you weren't the only silence there and I knew you were working on it--there were 'no response' cases too--you told me where you were, which isn't actual silence!)
I think delusions are a must in this business. That's a very good one, but I don't think it's that delusional. I think there's a lot of truth in it. People just forget and are mindless. They don't mean anything by it ... most times. :)
I was going to join in this blogfest, but I was too afraid that no one would read my entry. Actually I had a guest poster today talking about Harry Potter (oh, maybe you should check it out!).
I think your conclusions are spot on. So much goes on and it's difficult to pick and choose what to do. I guess we just put ourselves out there and if someone listens then just great. And if they don't, well then that's just the way it is. The point is to never give up--maybe change tactics, but don't just outright quit what we love.
Lee
Tossing It Out
I think I waver between the two. Guess that means sometimes I waffle as well.
Paranoid me always wins... I like to stamp my foot :)
Lx
The Paranoid voice sounds familiar . . . LOL.
Me paranoid? Delusional? Suffering from a persecution complex?
Okay, so maybe sometimes...
Paranoid. Sadly, I'm sure most of it is justified.
So what's this signing up thing? The box was a little intimidating. Maybe I'm paranoid. :>
Mary-I'm all for delusions myself!
Lee-I will head over! (this IS a good blogfest--and there is still time!)
Alex-you know I have to call you waffle from now on, don't you?
Laura-No! Don't be paranoid!
GE--fight it!
Helena--that is your spy training betraying you!
Diane, not at all justified!
janet-signing up means committing to doing this insecurity thing first Wed. of each month, but also new followers, so it's all good!
I am very familiar with the Conspiracy of Silence and I hate it. I tend to go with the Paranoid Me reaction but I'm well acquainted with Delusional Me.
I wish I was more grounded and delusional like you.
Nice post.
xoRobyn
Great post. My irrational side is always coming out.
You mean it's not all about us? That sucks. I am very paranoid. And that stupid saying? No news is good news? Is just bull.
Thanks for sharing.
HMG
haha yep, I can so relate to this too. The publishing industry is notorious for its lack of speed.
I'm not sure which is harder dealing with the silence (and all the inferences my brain makes) or being patient and waiting. I'm horrible with both. Delusions ARE essential. Somedays the delusions are what gets me out of bed.
Hi there, I'd like to cash this reality check please. Thanks!
I'm just as delusional. I think... oh gawd! I sent out the book to a dozen people and only 2 responded! Okay, well dorkus, you did say it was a rough draft and that you'd be sending off a polished version in a few weeks. Who wouldn't wait? Not everyone wants to read the same thing over and over again like you do.
That's me talking to me, by the way.
I think I'm going to like this support group. :D
Hi Hart! It certainly takes a long time once you send your work out there. Now your childings are back at school no doubt you'll be slamming away at those keys.
Denise
Stopping by for The Insecure Writer’s Support Group.
Excellent insecurity. If there is such a thing. I like to fill the silence with singing. Loud singing. :)
Thanks for sharing!
glad to have found another insecure writer. and darn, i thought it was all about me.
I prefer delusional! My book has been for sale for about 72 hours and I've sold 4 copies. I delightfully excited that I've sold 4 copies.
And...to bolster my elation, I received an email from a stranger telling me she couldn't put my book down. I almost fell off my chair!
Great thing you've got going here!
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