Thursday, December 23, 2010

Twelve Christmas Treats!

Okay friends... we are coming into the home stretch... I notice the boards are slowing down... people are abandoning the nets for... you know... REAL PEOPLE (the nerve!). I always called this Christmas Eve Eve and have ALWAYS loved it. You see... things converge here—it is my half birthday, which means I am exactly half way to 89... for what that's worth, I intend this to be exactly MIDDLE AGE. Not sure why I don't intend to go into my 90s except people in their 90s seem crabby—now people who live into their HUNDREDS—THOSE people are a kick in the pants. So first... a story (don't panic, it's short)


So my great grandma (mom's dad's mom) was pretty stuffy and proper, like, yeah? She was alive when I was born... in fact I spent about 40% of my 'daycare' time with my grandma (mom's mom—this would be Alyse the fabulous) and we went to the nursing home to see my great grandma a couple times a week until I was... must have been 4 or 5. But in Moscow, Idaho, people make friends for life, and my great grandparents had made friends with this couple, Frank and Kitty, who were childless... so my GRANDPA, an only child (adopted) ended up with 4 parents. Now that might sound like a crummy deal, but really, it is fairly cool. Because while his OWN parents were proper, Kitty (I never met Frank) was warm and wonderful. She was FUNNY, feisty, and FABULOUS. She was all of 4'10” or so when I passed her in height, though I suspect she might have peaked at about 5 foot... but she was always a part of our family. Kitty lived to be 103... and catch this... she belonged to a bowling league to the end... bowled twice a week STILL at 103.

So there... I've had my daily digression... But WAIT! Kitty's last name was Hosley, and she had monogramed pillowcases and hankies... as HART... the only H in my family... I got them all... So I have some Kitty stuff, which I love.

Okay, NOW I will get down to business...

On the... erm... whatever day of Twelvsies, her Tartness gives you YOU... Twelve Christmas Treats! (warning... a few of these you are just going to have to enjoy vicariously, as really I was the one who got them...)


1...is it POSSIBLE to say Christmas without FUDGE? I'm not sure it is. I LOVE fudge!
2...Sugar cookies. In the shapes of trees, stars, angels, santas... I'm not picky... erm... so long as they have frosting... and sprinkles... okay, so maybe I am a little picky. (I have a GREAT recipe, by the way)
3...Toffee. This is my favorite candy EVER. I like the almond roca estimation...toffee with chocolate around it and then sprinkled with crushed almonds... but so long as there is toffee and chocolate, I am pretty happy.
4...Chocolate oranges... do you know... hubby and I have searched high and low this year and not found them... Christmas may not come... these are orange hinted chocolate, shaped like an orange, that when you smash it, breaks into orange slice pieces... they are HEAVEN. [somehow this treat seems SCARCE this year and we are starting to panic]
5...Egg. Nog. Man, I love eggnog. Though I confess to doctoring mine... shot of rum, dash of nutmeg.

6...Baked brie... oh... hubby makes the BEST baked brie... he wraps it in puff pastry and... there is more too it than that... and it is the best food ever...
7...Movies with kids... lots and lots of movies with my childings... (Last night we watched Inception, but we RENTED 5...two I won't watch—their taste in comedy leaves something to be desired, but the scary ones, I will...
8...Seasonal ale. My time in Michigan has proven that not everybody GETS this... you see something like 'winter white'? Erm. No. A Christmas ale should be brown, hearty and spiced. The best one EVER is Wassail Winter Ale from Full Sail brewing in Hood River Oregon. But provided it is nut brown or darker and spiced, it is a good one to try.

9...Reindeer antlers. Got some. (modeled here by Joel who hides his head if not helped to look at the camera--I
d say he's embarrassed, but he does it even with no antlers or camera).
10...Pedicure... oh sure... who sees your feet at Christmas... UNLESS YOU ARE NAKED! My feet are currently sporting a festive teal shade... they are soft and loved... I have the best boss ever, and this was only the beginning...
11...Facial—a full HOUR...cream it up, massage it in, wipe it off, cream it up, rub it in, wipe it off, nice hot cloth, cream it up, steam it a while... it sounds so naughty, doesn't it?
12...FULL BODY MASSAGE: HEAVEN!

24 comments:

Stephen Tremp said...

I remember those chocolate orange balls that you peel. Haven't seen them in years. Now I want one. Oh, and a full body massage too.

erica and christy said...

My half-birthday is on Christmas Day. Saved my mom from having to send birthday treats back in elementary school!! My sister is a massage therapist, but since she lives over 7 hours (by plane - driving it would take days) away, I've never gotten one. *sigh* Merry Christmas!
erica

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Joel is a cutie! Love the story about Kitty...wow, I wish I had that kind of energy. :) I think I might have to go eat some chocolate after reading your post...

Cold As Heaven said...

We call this day Little Christmas Eve. Still a loooong way to go here. The entire house looks like a complete mess.

I just finished the Christmas shopping (I've bought only 2 gifts, one in the bookstore, one at the antiquarian, books there too). I came back from downtown 5 minutes ago, damn cold, almost froze my nose off when I walked across the bridge over the river.

Cold As Heaven

Falen (Sarah Ahiers) said...

ooh, does your husband add raspberry jam to you baked Brie? Because jam and baked brie are AWESOME! (also honey an blue cheese. MMMM)

I love chocolate oranges, but haven't looked for them this year. Lindt makes an orange flavored truffle which, while it doesn't allow you to smash it into fun orange slices, has a very similar taste

Old Kitty said...

We had our secret santa at work. I picked out my pressie, rattled it, opened it and ta-da!! It was a box of toffees.

Now I have the sweetest tooth on this planet (as my dentist will attest) but I draw the line to toffee!! LOL!!! Anyway - I very generously gave the box of said toffee to the staff tea room! :-)

Awww Kitty sounds utterly fabulous!!! If I ever live to be 103 - I hope to still be bowling too!!! I love that figurine!!!

Take care
x

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Good for your Grandma!
And pedicure?

The Golden Eagle said...

Really? Your half-birthday is today? Because today's my birthday. :D

That's a cool chocolate/orange thing--I've never seen anything like it before.

LTM said...

had baked brie w/praline sauce last night... OMG. And I lurv those chocolate oranges... :d Wish we were (geographically) closer~

Merry Christmas, girl~ :o) <3

Hart Johnson said...

Stephen-we can't find them ANYWHERE this year, but they are great!

Christie, in grade school we usually picked an unbirthday, because I was a brat about wanting my cupcakes! And stinky your sister lives too far to take advantage!

Joel IS cute... in fact he's cuter than he photographs because he's shy--and yes, Kitty was wonderful!

CaH-I told my kids about Little Christmas Eve--I LOVE it--I think it's great you have a name for it. It is quite cold enough here--I don't think I could handle Norway cold... When I visit, i will need to do it in summer.

Sarah-there is berry something involved, but I don't know what it actually is (maybe cranberry) I like those contrasting flavors. And the orange Lindt is what we ended up with, on the off chance we don't find the real deal, but I LOVE breaking them!

Jenny-LUCKY! I can't believe you gave it away!

Alex--the bottom 4 things were all from my boss--she took us for a pampering day yesterday.

Golden Eagle--Well HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! And if you DO see those oranges, try one!

Leigh--oooh, praline sounds heavenly with it! I wish you were closer too!

Andrew Green said...

Mmm, I could go for some chocolate orange balls myself....

Mark P Sadler said...

Cost Plus/World market claims to have the chocolate oranges or you can find them on line at http://www.candywarehouse.com/terrysorange.html or Amazon sells then for a six pack for $49.95. I love them too. My family did not celebrate Xmas when I was a child but I still remember my father buying these because they where seasonal.

Holly Ruggiero said...

I’m right in line with your treats though I’ve never had seasonal ale.

Hart Johnson said...

*snort* Andrew, you win on best use of innuendo.

Mark, thanks for the resources--I really want to find them LOCALLY though! And that sounds like a lot--seems they are $3.95 or something... Kroger USUALLY has them.

Holly--never too late! (unless you don't drink, in which case it might be)--but the seasonals are strong and dark, which is how I like my ale.

Colene Murphy said...

That's so awesome! My grandpa is 93(maybe? over 90 for sure) and in a bowling league. My mom went up to see him a few months ago and has a picture of his 214 score (only one to have over 200 on a league of younger men than him!) My grandma was on the league with him up until the day before she died. So cool! Old people can seriously get it!

Patricia Stoltey said...

All of that sounds wonderful. My biggest treat was an extra massage this month (to me from Santa me). Pure heaven.

I was on a bowling league for a while with a lovely lady of about 97. It was awful, because she consistently bowled higher scores than I did. :)

Patricia Stoltey said...

Oops, I left out the most important part. Merry Christmas, Hart. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Jemi Fraser said...

I've never had a manicure or a pedicure - the thought of anyone touching my feet sends me directly into panic mode!

Hope you have a wonderful, relaxing, fun-filled holiday :)

Medeia Sharif said...

I'm now yearning for a chocolate orange. The other items seem fabulous, too. Happy holidays!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

I admire your Grandmother. And now, I'm thinking of those chocolate orange balls myself! LOL.

Happy Christmas Eve, Hart. May the magic of this season follow you throughout the New Year. Roland

Missed Periods said...

Maybe if I live to be 103 my bowling score will exceed 40. Maybe.

Happy half birthday and Merry Christmas.

Jayne said...

I want all of those twelve things as they all sound amazing! In England the chocolate oranges brand is called Terry's (Terry's chocolate oranges), hence adverts saying 'they are not Terry's - they're mine! Merry Christmas, Hart!

Jan Morrison said...

Hi dolly! I know, I know, I haven't been around much lately but I've lurked! I don't like fudge but I adore everything else on your list. I make almond rocca or nut crunch or whatever you like to call it. I'm going to make another batch today. Making candy is easy and one feels like a WIZARD when it turns out!
Have a very fun crazy naked christmas deario!

DCAllen said...

I would like to profess my love for Joel. And the full-body massage.