Sneaksy

So you may not know this about me, but... I'm a big cheater!

Okay, so not usually, but I am killing two birds with one stone with today's blog... You see... Rachael, at Rach Writes has issued a Blogger Crusade Challenge in which we needed to start a blog with that! HA! My CHEATING comes into play because I am using it to link to a post I wrote already... But here... I will use the phrase again to make up for it...

You may not know this about me, but a couple weeks ago I tried out to be a guest blog for Nathan. I'm not that serious a wannabe (really I'd rather just dress him up and make him dance like I like) but the chance to reach a darned big audience tempted me... and I succumbed... I deserve a spanking.

But I promised HERE that if I didn't make it THERE, I would share it with you anyway... you get me better than all those silliness peeps anyway... (okay, maybe WE are the silliness peeps, but we sure seem to have a lot more fun and a fair amount less pretense... not NATHAN—I am thankful for what he does, but I frequently get annoyed with his commentors, even if I sometimes AM one. --is my hypocrisy showing?)

So REALLY rather than being a big cheater, I just am sort of sneaksy as to how I apply the rules...

Now without further ado... my GUEST POST THAT WASN'T!


Bloginality:  The The Type of Bloggers and their Attitudes

I recently had a heated debate with one of my writing peeps.  You see... she doesn't blog.  She thinks we are all a lot of brown-nosing ninnies, blowing smoke up each others' skirts.  And while I am not opposed to a little skirt peeping (provided they are kilts, worn in the traditional 'commando' manner, I mean) I just couldn't take the disrespect, so I decided to assess the VIEW of blogging from the viewpoint of blogger 'types'.

Pre-blogger:  "What a bunch of literary masturbation that is! A bunch of people all writing about themselves and screaming, 'Hey!  Come look at ME!  Read what I have to say!'" *cough*  Masturbation is engaged in by billions... it is ENJOYABLE.  Some people even like to WATCH (can I say that here? Was I supposed to stick to PG?)

Promo-blogger: "My agent and editor said I have to blog... 365 days all about my book, book and more book!  But dang it, why doesn't anybody ever return?" Okay kind friend... because we read about the BOOK the first time.  If you say nothing new, I don't need to come back.  In fact... if I didn't know about the book ALREADY, I probably wouldn't have wandered in.

Eager-Beaver-blogger:  "HEY!  I can get an agent this way!  If I follow all the agent blogs and make really clever comments, they will pick ME!  This is GREAT!" These folks are a little like Jack Russells... real cute until they annoy you to death.  They are NOT however, as smart as Jack Russells.  Getting agents by blog is a 1 in 132,000,000 shot. (yes, I'm a statistician)

Anti-blogger: "It's prostitution!  You are out there begging for comliments and nobody is going to tell you what they really think.  You've sold out!"  Oh, sweetness... ALL business is prostitution.  If you ever want to get published, you are going to have to prostitute yourself a little bit.  If you give in to the FUN part of it, it is much less painful.  If you refuse to engage, then your book will likely never get read. If you get naked, maybe you will be a best seller one day.

Follower-frenzied blogger:  "If I follow everyone and their dog, and hold giveaways and contests, and enter every blogfest, I will soon have a thousand followers!"  You might.  You might not.  This is the suck-up from high school who KNEW everybody but nobody liked because they were incapable of true friendship.  The followers WILL probably show up... the readers will go away again because there is no reciprocity.


Networking blogger:  "You know... I can't keep up well, if I try to keep up with everyone, so I am going to pare down my blogroll to the bloggers I really read, and I will follow people I can count on when I really need to work the system."  This smart cookie of a blogger has a ton of helpful links, passes on EVERYBODY'S contests and promos, and is really fighting the good fight.  But she is probably not nurturing HERSELF.  Some people may LOVE this, but it takes a certain personality.

Enlightened blogger: "I do this because I enjoy it.  If people like me, they will come.  If I like them, I will follow them back.  But I'm not too worried about the hype.  I am just processing.  It's all good." I envy this person, not worried at all about the hit counters or the follower numbers... only reading what they have time for, content with a handful of comments a day (because the commenters they have REALLY LOVE THEM.

As for me, I suppose I am a masturbating, networking prostitute.  I've always said, if you want people to keep coming back, you either need to be helpful or entertaining, and I'm not really a utility model.

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So there you have it... I think Nathan just may not have wanted to be so naughty... definitely a man in need of lingerie training...