Saturday, January 9, 2010

(Un)Weighty Matters

I had my Weight Watchers weigh in this morning... oh, I'm not going to all those pesky meetings... I'm too cheap for that, plus, I am possibly unique in that it is counterproductive for me... somebody proud of me is alright, but that look of disappointment if you gain is enough to send me to Dairy Queen for a large blizzard (I'll show YOU to think you can tell me what I ought to do!)--shaming me never has worked. I am just too large a rebel (in every sense of the word, unfortunately). I am a person who prefers to be accountable to herself.

But I AM following the plan. And I DID manage to lose 10% of my overall goal this week. Man, I wish that meant I could lose all of it in 10 weeks, but I know the reality of it. This is the big one. I may get one or two more losses over 5 pounds, but they will come after plateaus and just be the marker of a whole month of working hard with no scale progress. THIS month, I think I can expect to lose 15 pounds and MAYBE ten next month... after that, I enter into the 5 pounds a month zone and just have to keep going until it's done. But if you've been reading for any length of time, you know that persistence is my greatest strength.

The sad part of this loss is it was only the holiday weight, but at least it was both the Christmas AND the Thanksgiving weight... I am where I was on that fateful Ides when I THOUGHT I was ready to start but wasn't (that would be the Ides of October.)

But this time it will take. I'll tell you how I know...

Lifetime Achievement Award

Until my pregnancies, my body had a weight, that when all things were healthy and in balance, it kept returning to. All of the following losses, except where noted, up to age 28 (baby #1) hit that mark)

Age         Loss
1 7          13 (gained back immediately)
18           17 (kept off for school year, gained following summer +)
19            20 (kept off rest of college career, having learned lesson)
24            37—to BELOW that optimum (kept all but 15 pounds off,
                or rather stayed at optimum—for about 18 months
27            15 (not quite at happy weight, kept off until 1st pregnancy)


30            20 (10 pounds higher even than LAST ending, kept off until 2nd pregnancy)


34            50 (FINALLY to good weight again, kept off until move—6 months, crept up slowly
36            60 (PAST good weight, in fact least I've weighed as an adult) kept off 2 years, then crept slowly

Lifetime     247 pounds. (ack!)

This isn't even counting the five pounds here and there that comes with little changes, and it CERTAINLY isn't counting the started and failed attempts in between. These are the SUCCESSES. What I am trying to get across is that I know when it will work and when it won't... I know when the ducks are in a row and when they aren't. This time, they are.

The scary part is each time I have more to lose (this time, too) but last time with success for more than two years, and only falling when I changed jobs.. and my NEXT job change will ideally give me a lot more workout flexibility because it will be to 'writer' so I set my own hours and can work out mid-day, which is my favorite time to do it if the house is empty... get up, email, blog, network, breakfast, edit, workout, write, network, family gets home, type, write...--see how nicely that slides in there! So I have to believe this time will take.

Since that age 36 loss that worked so well for so long, I've tried a half dozen times to start, all failed. I think I have managed AT LAST to nail that one. How?


I told you all I was going to do this... I told you all I DID this (and I did). But It has worked in a much different way than I ever could have anticipated.

I did my acupressure session to address alcohol cravings, because I am a gal who likes a drink after work, and one in the evening, and the draw was actually physical... I know... alarm bells, all that... but it isn't that I wanted A LOT... I just had a pattern that, like Pavlov's Dog, caused a physical reaction that was distressing if the reward didn't follow...

So I did my session with the divine Kara Sorensen, a friend of mine from college. She taught me the pressure points, and then we went through a number of statements—first negatively reinforcing the bad, then positively reinforcing the good, then healing, balancing... it was a groovy hour, and I definitely felt different when I was done. And for a week, to see how well it worked... I didn't drink anything, and then I had a glass of wine now and again, and it didn't re-open those cravings, so that was cool.

I DID feel a little entitled to other treats... not sure what that is about, except I'm greedy, but I think it was that my frame of mind was not yet on the 'diet'.

Thanksgiving and then Christmas came and I sort of fell back into habits of indulgence, not really considering the whys or the hows...

But on Janaury 2nd when I started the plan, I felt it. Or rather, I didn't feel it. My last several diets sabotaged because I couldn't manage to deny myself my glass of wine (or two) in the evening... Last year's attempt I lost 20 pounds, but it took me 3 months and then petered out. Why? Because I couldn't say no to that one pesky temptation.

This year... I'm drinking a lot of tea. I still like a 'drink' in the bathtub. I still like a glass in my hand. But I haven't once felt deprived that the calorie laden treat is off the table.

I will see if when it is on the table because I have the points to spare, if a glass once a week goes with 'me' or not (moderation not being my thing and all), but I am currently thinking 'occasions only'. I'm thrilled that the physical draw is gone and the decision is again a DECISION that I can make in the positive or negative.

I definitely recommend the process if you have one or two problem foods. It was a single session that worked for me. Kara says more general overeating can be more sessions, but she can address them.

Anyway—THAT is I think the primary difference between this year and last, and why I can 'feel success'--something I have felt before, and when I've felt it, I have in fact succeeded.

Added:  Noticed today on Kara's Facebook page she is holding a special even, for first time sessions... definitely think about it!  She did mine by phone, she also does Skype and groups.  If you think you might be interested in some assistance for eating cravings, I strongly recommend her!


Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I think the way you track progress and setbacks and make goals is going to definitely work in your favor with weight loss, publication, and everything else you're interested in!

Mystery Writing is Murder
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Watery Tart said...

Thanks so much Elizabeth! I can hope, anyway!