Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Road to Publication a la Tart

(or how I see it at the moment, anyway)

Write some fan fiction. Check.
Friend Natasha says, “You should write a real book.” Check. (you all need a friend Natasha)
Scratch out a few chapters. Check.
Join a writer’s group. Check. (see below)

Plug away for over two years to write a REAL book. Check.
Proofread and edit. Check.
Share with fabulous writer’s group members. Check.
Start a new book to distract self. Check.
Get back feedback. Check.
Edit and proofread. Check.
Start different book, first wasn’t flowing. Check.
Seek out social networking blogs. Check.
Start Facebook writer’s profile. Check.
Friend anyone who looks like they might be an author, agent or publisher. Check.
Join groups, fan and friend like mad. Check.
Learn to behave appropriately when interacting. Conspicuous lack of check.
Read gazillion blogs about querying. Check.
Send six queries. Check
Buy reams of paper, envelopes, special stationary, binder clips (for requests for partials and fulls). Check.
Learn language (WiP=work in progress, ms=manuscript, SASE=self addressed stamped envelope). Check.

Invest in U.S. Postal service. Check.
Ponder rejections. Check.
Write synoposis. Check.
Meet real author through neighbor and share query. Check.
Get giant reality check that 200K is too long and book needs major editing. Check.
Begin edit with shortening in mind. Check.
Start blog. Check.
Learn blogging etiquette. Check.
Follow blogging etiquette. Half check.
Finish editing, polish. Check.
Query 14 more people. Check.
Spend three weeks writing short stories because I heard that is how it is done. Check.
Attain critical mass of blog followers (read: 25) Check.
Go back to book started in February and madly write it in 6 weeks. Check.
Plan trilogy around it. Check.
Ponder rejections. Check.
Get first request for partial. Check.
In cleaning for partial determine it needs another round of editing. Check.
Decide to participate in NaNoWriMo madness. Check.
Convince cadre of minions to follow my madness. Check.
Join local writer’s associations and search conferences. Check.
Take new writers under wing, never mind I’m not published yet. Check.
Begin diet preparing for book tour. Half check.
Resort to nudity to get attention. Check. Check. Check.
Add innuendo and wobbly sausages to mix because if I can’t be published, at least I can entertain. Check.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Check…

Erm… what book?

*heavy sigh*

Back to polishing book. Check.


Authors Promoting Authors said...

I love dropping by your blog because it so often brightens my day!
Excellent post, excellent check-list...

Watery Tart said...

Funny you should pop in! I actually started this list thinking of 'article about trying to get published' for the post you put up yesterday, but it quickly degenerated into silliness, as so much of what I do does...

So thank you!!!

M.J. Nicholls said...

You forgot the long bouts of suicidal anguish and alcohol abuse. :)

Your checklist I can certainly relate to, esp. the short story dalliances and the ludicrously long first MS.

Check... out.

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

This all sounds very familiar. :)

I remember the day when I decided I'd read WAAYYY too many articles on writing and needed to just sit down and type out the ##$ thing. But I'm pretty sure all the stuff I read helped out. Pretty sure.

Mystery Writing is Murder

Authors Promoting Authors said...

...there wasn't anything in that post about not accepting silliness :P

Watery Tart said...

Mark, my long-hand draft (the one written naked) mentioned suicide avoidance therapy... not sure how it missed the final list... and yes, the alcohol abuse... but where would I put something chronic on a chronological list?

Elizabeth==TOTALLY get the info overload! It's my belief that you read a lot, let it settle, then act from the gut. Hopefully the nonsense has burped itself off by then.

APA (is this Tina Sue, I know there are a few of you)--I may try to do a polished version--my Christmas one, which I think I WILL submit is almost listish, though it is actual all dialog--inspired by the real honest Mr. Tart--Scrooge that he seems to be this time of year. I wrote a draft a few years back that I want to update and it's pretty amusing (if you aren't living with it)

Articles with humor though, are definitely what anything shorter I write ends up--my long stuff is dark, my short, typically sort of funny.

Authors Promoting Authors said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rayna M. Iyer said...

You really should archive this mail, Tami. Will make for great reading after you have achieved the fame you so richly deserve.