Tuesday, September 29, 2009
My writing pace has slowed on LEGACY and I think I have some inkling why...
My Childings and Grouchy Significant Other
He hates it when I call him that--his tolerance for political correctness is low. It's one of the many things we disagree on. I happen to think it's nobody's business that we're married, really. Nobody's business what his gender is. And if I want to pretend to be a man dressed as a woman, that's nobody's business either. Private life and public life... ne'er the two shall meet... well, other than the fact that I blog about it and occasionally grumble about men, but I never claimed consistency was my strong suit. In THEORY it shouldn't matter.
Except it does.
Were I single (and still middle aged and able to support myself with no roommate, or at least only a courteous, non-dependent roommate that liked me for the most part... Okay, no, strike that... I've had roommates and somehow they negate my ability to do anything in my downtime besides have fun... back to living alone...) There would be no sporting events to watch... now this is a seasonal distraction--December will be sport-free, as might March and April. But then December I will be Christmas shopping. My S.O. is the shopper, cook, and primary nurturer at our house (see, no gender stereotypes!), but there are tasks and times of year when he is every bit oblivious male. Christmas is one of them. He thinks it's stupid I bother to bake, doesn't grasp that a stocking is for the 'little things' and has no clue about the appeal of variability in gifts (possibly because he never likes anything--I kid you not. In 21 years the only gift he's ever liked is the recliner he got for father's day four years ago--hard to get Scrooge to understand Christmas without killing him first).
So since school started the after school/evening parenting responsibilities have been mounting. Curriculum nights, sporting events, homework help, projects. Last week about wiped me out... that is when the writing slowed down. Don't get me wrong, I am still managing 1000-1500 words a day (except Friday--concert day), but the madness of a chapter a day may be gone for good. Last night I had to stop and think 'where next' three or four times, and it was only when the chapter was almost at an end that my path really became clear--thinking at the moment I will just have to keep going on THAT, as I also typed last night, more in one sitting than I had in ages (I do my writing long-hand in the tub), and I am now thinking I should grasp onto any substance I can get my hands on! [admittedly, I am typing filler--in my initial madness I jumped a few chapters in and then had to go back and fill in later... might have filled in wrong... might need to just dump the idea of filler and start with the good stuff]. Hmmm... not sure if that realization made me feel better or not. I suppose it is all process...
The Day Job
Then on top of my home responsibilities, [note: I keep leaving one of the 'i's out of responsibilities... wonder if 'i' doesn't like them. *snort*] there is my day job. I spent 10 hours yesterday, sadly Facebook free, Twitter free (not that I get Twitter, but I AM following JK Rowling now! jk_rowling---really her! *fangirl squeal*), blog free *sniff* (other than reading about the fall of the United States of America anyway--that I couldn't have missed.) I hate grants. They are the bane of my existence. I like most things about my job (other than the management things--those I could do without)--I am a statistical nerd and love analysis. I like scientific writing, but the minutia of grants SUCKS! Back to it today, though hopefully not for as long, as we'd THOUGHT we had to be done by 1:00 today, when in reality, it can be Thursday if necessary, but we worked our butts off yesterday thinking we were to the wire.
Speaking of butts... (do I have to?)
yES... I have seen the face of doubt and it looks like responsibility.