Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Who Cares?

It's TMI Tuesday, so I thought I'd talk about this very strange phenomenon of WHO CARES about our writing. I shared my 3 month anticipation post yesterday, and posted it not only to my writing profile, but also my personal profile on Facebook.

The very very COOL thing is that actually a LOT of people seem to care... Friends. Family. Nice notes. People I only knew very peripherally once upon a time. In fact there are people who seem to have known me that I didn't know hardly at all... people I know names for but for whom it never occurred to me it went the other direction. My policy on FB is first and second degree friends for my personal profile—if people know me, or are friends with a friend of mine... I even have a few writer friends I bonded more tightly with—people I've known long enough to establish some trust.

So I felt really really loved yesterday. Hugged and cozy. I loved it.

But there are also the absent... Now I get that not everybody is on Facebook every day. There are people I've been friends with forever who seem completely oblivious, even though they ARE around a lot. I don't feel any fear they will stumble in HERE. I am clearly not on their radar. But how much effort is a freaking 'like' when you see someone post really good news?

A couple of my high school friends have sent me personal notes—email. And I don't begrudge them at all. They aren't online much. But if you ARE online?

I can't help but get a little paranoid that either my nudity or my politics have alienated people.

Now I have a LOT of non-naked or politically incompatible friends—heck, I grew up in Idaho where my politics fit not even a TINY bit. But in OH-so-many cases we can argue civilly, agree to disagree, or stick to other topics. They are great people.

On the not-interested, though... I mean maybe they aren't interested in writing... I get that. No. I don't get that. But... so here's an example. I have some friends who craft. Scrap-booking or jewelry making. I don't do that. And the scrap-booking, in particular, I'm not that interested in. It is one of those super-mom traits that missed me entirely. But if one of my friends was... putting on her own SHOW or something... or had sold a pattern (does that fit—I am a little clueless here)--but you can tell what the successes are, yeah? I could BOTHER to hit the freaking LIKE button. I would recognize it as big in their area of interest, and therefore to be applauded.

Am I being a bitch? I am not holding anything against ANYBODY who says 'yay' every once in a while. I know not everybody sees everything I post. But never? Do I have bad breath? Am I being annoying? Boring?


So there is my little Tuesday mini-rant.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

None of the above!
People are now just so wrapped up in their own worlds, their own interests, that things outside of that just don't ping their radar. You're right, any accomplishment, no matter if we relate to it or not, should be celebrated or at least acknowledged.
It's just human nature in this busy world, Hart. Not you at all!

Nancy said...

Not being a bitch at all. It is human nature to want recognition when something great happens. We certainly get it when it is something bad. It is a fantastic accomplishment, people who aren't in the writing business have no idea what a huge hurdle you have cleared so you may be dealing with their ignorance. As you probably have before.

Old Kitty said...

Beautiful Tart!! These people don't know what they're missing! I think keep going onwards and upwards in you most NAKEDest way possible and all will soon see the light! :-)

You are loved and we revel in your utter gloriousness! Yes we do!

Take care

Tonja said...

Other people's reactions (or lack of) doesn't reflect at all on your accomplishment. What you did is huge. HUGE.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

That's why it's so important that we egg ourselves on and why we enjoy other writers' encouragement. I think it's frequently the people closest to us who understand the least about the huge deal being published is. We're all proud of you!

Jan Morrison said...

My very best friend never goes on my blog or facebook page - never. I have lots of folks who lurk but never comment - close folks. My dad was one. I get tonnes of attention for some activities and not for others. It is bewildering. I wasn't on facebook yesterday and so you'll have to get your hug from me today - right here, right now - and by the way, I'm naked. And that is saying a lot on these cold days. love love love zooming to you and appreciating you for your astounding strides as a writer and your dearness as a bud!

Angela Felsted said...

If it helps, I don't have a problem with your nudity.

Sometimes, I too, worry that my views offend people who don't see the world as I do, though.

As for me, I try to comment and like, but often I just don't see things (in part because I have over 700 friends on my facebook page) which is great, except the sheer volume makes it hard to see everyone all the time.

Know I'm cheering for you. :D

siderealview said...

Wot Alex, Elizabeth and Jan said. And it is natural for us to want our near and dear to share our own little successes... thing is, with the explosion of the internet we may be finding a schism which will only get wider. Our closest may never read our work, but we DO share it with other writers who DO know how awesome it is. How awesome YOU ARE, oh trilogy-naked-lady-of-no-crochet-hook - oh scrub that, quadrupilogy if you count Alyse's work...

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Oh, boy, do I have so much to say about this. I have been through a similar process with FB (mostly with my dog dying and my son-in-law ending it all) and folks not bothering to comment or contact me with a sorry that happened. I was hurt and pissed in both of those cases, and after a couple of glasses of wine I addressed the group in angry tears, but of course I was preaching to the choir.

But, you know what? Many of them, even if they were on FB that day, never even saw my sad posts. That is because FB itself decides who sees what, and we as users set our own settings on how often we see our friends posts.

I want to say, please don't take it personally in MOST cases. Just run the important posts again. Facebook has changed so much over the past couple of years, because there is only so much room. It used to be a great communication tool, but not so much anymore. It comes in handy for having everybody all there in one spot, and for sending personal messages though.

There is another reason why some people don't comment. I think that is because they are jealous. It is hard to be a prophet in your own town, and there are some that won't comment or read your blog no matter how often you try and lead them there. They will read your book though, don't worry about that ... though they may not mention that fact or tell you how much they love it.

Don't know what to do about that, it just is what it is. Don't let it get you down too much.

I am very excited for you.

Kathy M.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Just something about being a writer, an author - people can't relate. They don't know what to say so they don't.

We understand and we care.

Hart Johnson said...

Thank you so much everyone for all the support. I know I'm being a baby, and I do know Facebook screens in unfathomable ways, so I really shouldn't take it all personally.

I just get paranoid that someone has blocked my posts or something. But I know... Don't take it personally and know eventually they will see... I just need to be a big baby every once in a while.

I do try to not vent too badly... erm... except on TMI Tuesday? But not THERE. Venting with room to qualify maybe, but not a short angry post... too easy to be taken wrong.

Thank you so much to all of you!

Deb and Barbara said...

I love that you vented because I think we all go through this. You give voice to our own insecurities and concerns - so thank you for being brave enough to "be a baby" (not that you are). Of course, I am one of those who also really wants to "have an answer" for you. I can honestly say, FB drives me nuts for this very thing: there are tons and tons of friends on my FB who I never ever see on my feed. And I don't know why. Deb? Almost never comes up on it!! Weird, huh? I think it was only awesome timing that I caught your great news. Which, btw, is truly amazingly wonderful. And as a fellow writer, I/we truly truly get that! xo B

Miss Jane America said...

Wow this is really cool! Congrats! I added it to GoodReads. I have about 20 years of history to catch up on with you, and am not sure where to start understanding nakedness. This is a nudist thing?

Hart Johnson said...

Barbara-I DO think it is partly facebook responsible. Though one of my missing 'friends' is one who might have very well blocked seeing my posts for politics, so it annoys me. Mostly, though, I blame Zuckerberg!

Jane, we DO have a ton of catching up to do! I hear about you from my mom, but we really need a one-on-one!

Jo Schaffer said...

I get that. Some people are just not online a lot.

Congrats on the pub thingy.You're awesome.
That should be me this year too. Yay!

Can I interview you for my blog? Email me if yes.

Sarah Ahiers said...

i know sometimes i miss big announcements on FB (or am late to them) because i'll have a day or two where i don't log on because i'm busy doing other crap.
But i've also made some important announcements on FB that went completely uncommented on and that hurts a bit. Usually i'll give it like a month and do it again, more obviously, and then usually that's when is see the outpouring of love.
FB is not a place for subtlety or modesty, apparently, if you want to announce something.