Friday, February 18, 2011

The Quintessential Tart


(HA! I didn't even need spell check to fix quintessential! I'm on a roll!)

So this Blogger Crusade is INSANE, yeah? I've had a bunch of new followers (almost 30?), extra comments, and a decent jump in hits, which is mega-cool. I'd like the THANK Rachael for her fantastic organization. I thought though, with a bunch of new faces... that maybe I should introduce myself a little more (meaning less--this is a theme with me... sometimes less is more (clothing) sometimes more is more (most stuff)) properly so you know what you're getting yourself into. Consider this my disclosure statement *cough*


As Writer

I'm dark and mysterious eh? Aren't you frightened? (this is actually a tree I pass on my walk, half dead, half alive, and I LOVE it, but I digress)  Yeah, see... well that's the problem... I have a bit of a disconnect between... the Naked ME and what I like as entertainment. I read, watch and listen to the DARK SIDE *cue spooky music*. I like mystery, suspense, horror, dystopia. Maybe it is that I am sort of annoyingly optimistic and silly and need some balance? I'd like to think though, that I WANT to be Vivian Leigh, but was born Lucille Ball [you know... the wrong kind of crazy]. Whatever the case, the majority of what I've written has been suspense in some form or other (mystery... thriller-wannabe). (though never without a snark, smartass, or ironic character... I like dark humor, too—voice always comes through.) Miss Darkness has written seven books, and edited three, but is just FINALLY getting one of them right (I hope)


Cozy Me

(this is Joel) Here's the thing, though... I write and polish and edit and write some more... improving, yes, but 'good enough'?... not yet—on the suspense anyway...

Cozy Mystery... GOT ONE. Last spring I had a chance to audition for a series with the first 50 pages based on some guidelines the editor suggested, and I GOT IT! It was still a lot of work (and my editor has asked me for some changes, but they aren't that big...), but the thing about Cozies... THIS WORK is like PLAY... there is no effort in keeping in voice when you get to have characters announce “I'm naked!” when that is EXACTLY what YOU like to say! So here I am, alternating voices, because I'd like to do both, but the one that comes more naturally, is the one that worked most easily. Who knew?


And then there is BLOGGIE Me...

(the same voice as the Cozies, largely, but maybe with a swig of rum to kill the inhibitions and a shot of espresso to amp the chaos) This is me as I really would be if my brain in real life could keep up. In actuality, my processor is sort of overloaded, so I speak a little more slowly than is consistent with the spaz coming across your screen... and erm... while I'd like to pretend I'm Jessica Rabbit... once again, I am more Bugs in Drag... except instead of a man dressed as a woman, I am more a woman dressed as a man dressed as a woman (except I'm not dressed)--Oh, I know it's confusing, but you will catch on very quickly.

In my blog life, I'd bet 70% of my content either is about writing or connects some OTHER observation to writing, 10% is sentimental tripe sweetness, and 20% is insanity in my own personal idiom... But even the theoretically non-insane stuff is still... you know... me (aka: insane by normal standards).

And I LOVE the Blogosphere... I first appeared in June of '09 and started mercilessly stalking Elizabeth (which is what I recommend to ANYONE who wants to learn FAST how to do it RIGHT). I have made a ton of friends... real friends... deep friends... friends who put up with me and even LIKE me... I just think the level of info exchanged via blog lets us really know each other a lot better than the other social media... we become people who not only click a button for each other, but really support each other... but what SHOCKED me so much is how much I have LEARNED (because of course I already knew everything, so what was there to learn *shifty*) This is my world and YOU are my peeps!


More ME! *cough*

FOMS: essential to ME, is the fact that I am deathly afraid of missing something (get it? Fear of Missing Something), so I generally participate in... oh, everything... I am currently on pins and needles waiting to hear if my pitch passed me from round one to round two of ABNA (for Kahlotus Disposal Site—a YA general fiction book with a ghost narrator)... I do NaNoWriMo and most big blog events... though not the writing blogfests, as I don't have time to give them what they deserve...


Flag Nut: So one of my stat counters is a FLAG counter, and it makes me SQUEEEE a lot... did it just last night when I got a visit from my 145th country! (Myanmar—cool flag, eh? Though I hear—via some random blog, that it's controversial, as it is new and replaced a loved one... or something)(and Cruella has reminded me this is BURMA, which is another controversy--ACK!  My blog just got political!) I ADORE that people all over the world read this... oh, sure, sometimes the search that brings them here is a little odd... maybe some of them aren't ACTUALLY reading... But I've made good friends in Norway, Sweden, Turkey, Thailand... many many more...


Naked World Domination: This is an effort to achieve world peace by taking over the world and making everyone get naked *nods* (seriously, it totally makes sense if you see the whole manifesto)


so there I am! In a nut shell! (without the shell)

WELCOME ONE AND ALL! (except spammers... especially that annoying American woman hater... sheesh... talk about asking to have your comment deleted:  hello... I am an American woman... *rolls eyes*)


I hope to see all of you around regularly!

42 comments:

Melissa said...

I've been following you for a while but I didn't know all this about you! It's actually really awesome to get to know you better!!!

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Nice summary! There are so many different parts to you, which is what makes visiting here fun. :) Thanks for the mention, too.

Yeah, that spammer visited MWIM and I think Helen's blog, too. Have seen it on at least one other blog. Bizarre!

Misha said...

Nice summery.

By the way... woman dressed as a man dressing as a woman makes sense to me. Not sure if that means I'm nuts or not.

;-)

Hannah Kincade said...

I love this so hard. So hard. ;P I'm glad I have begun to visit you more often and am getting to know you. I am a dark writer and reader a well but most of the time, you wouldn't be able to tell from my general verbal spillage. God, I wish I were naked right now...that sounds wrong.

Cruella Collett said...

Yay for quint.. qui.. q... quAck! I NEED the spell check! Anyway, woot for new followers and getting to know you (*snort*) and all. Sunshine all over today, ne?

(Psst - I think the PC term for "Myanmar" actually is Burma...)

Hart Johnson said...

Melissa- YAY! It's funny swimming in the same waters for a while and then getting to know each other a little later, isn't it?

Elizabeth-a bit of a split personality, eh? And I think I've had that guy visit 3 times now *grrrrr*

Misha-Well it DOES make sense! (but yes, it's possible we just share insanity forms)

Hannah-I'm glad we've been crossing paths a lot more often too--funny that we have so much in common but it took so long to discover it! And let's hear it for NAKED!

Cruella-HA! I should always run my international stuff by you first. And you spelled quack just fine... *snort*

ViolaNut said...

Knowing that Myanmar was the "new name" for Burma got me to the state rounds of the geography bee in 6th grade. Of course, I now have a Birman cat, so, errrm...

Don't the Pythons do men-dressed-as-women-dressed-as-men in Life of Brian? ;-)

Mary Vaughn said...

Love the fact that I never know what I'll find here but it's always great.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

i don't know how you juggle so many yous, but they're all excellent!

youngbloodblog said...

some of us less-prolific and naked-to-boot bloggers are just so grateful that the spam-person hits you first. You can handle him. My spammers give me a 4-page tome and then ask why I didn't post it. How did you find out about the multi-spam person spamming others if he was spam-blocked?
Oh, never mind. Just learning from you how to be more laid back in verbage & from Cruella intl pc relations. Wot fun. So glad about your multiple follower boost - you deserve every last one... and oh yes, don't knock Lucille B: her ultimate best quote was "secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age" Do it all the time!!

Susan Schreyer said...

Hi fellow Crusader! Love your humor! And Congratulations on the Cozy Gig! When will it be out?

Hart Johnson said...

Leanne--the Pythons DO in fact have men dressed as women dressed as men, but Shakespeare did it first in As You Like it! Only THEN, on top of THAT, the character 'acts like' a girl to sooth an upset girl. teehee

Mary and Sarah, THANK YOU!

Marian-I actually love Lucille Ball... but dark and mysterious, dammit! I want to be dark and mysterious! *snort* You're so sweet with the compliments--we are ALL on a learning curve!

Susan, welcome! And thank you! Cozy won't be out until June 2012--Penguin has slowed a bunch of their timelines and this industry seems to move like molassas anyway...

N. R. Williams said...

Ugh...you got that American woman hater too. To assume we all cheat is ridiculous. I've been married 29 years and have never cheated, except with my characters. Oh no, did I say that?

Suspense, great stuff. I write fantasy but there's a lot of suspense, romance, mystery and even a dash of horror, (monsters) in my tale. So I'm right there with you, funny lady.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

Deniz Bevan said...

Isn't this crusade exciting? If you don't have any followers/visitors yet from Turkey I could log on from there next time I visit my grandmother...

VR Barkowski said...

Great, informative post, Tarty. I'm in awe. I write dark, couldn't write a cozy or procedural if my life depended on it.

Deb and Barbara said...

Wow, you are on a roll, baby! Love the energy.
B

Ciara said...

It's great to learn more about you! I've been following for awhile. :)

Me said...

Interesting

Carol Kilgore said...

I always love coming here because everything is all totally YOU. Keep up the great blog!

Kal said...

OMG you just diagnosed me. My name is Calvin and I have FOMS. ("Hello Calvin!"). I have to post about anything interesting that comes past my way or my hummingbird-like brain will forget about it.

Stephen M. Swartz said...

I love it when you update me!

Hart Johnson said...

NR-yeah, he has some sort of sour grapes! I love fantasy! I wish I had enough grounding to write it, but I came to it late in life...

Deniz-welcome! I have someone from Turkey (a couple someones, if the flags are right) but the more the merrier!

VR-I couldn't do proceedurals, either--or even a PI--that is why I do the cozies... amateur sleuth and some zaniness on the side.

Thank you, Barbara!

Ciara-thank you, too!

Me-so this feels like having a conversation with myself... interesting like... I ought to be committed?

Hart Johnson said...

Carol-that's the thing about being naked... pretty much what you see is what you get...

KAL! Another FOMSian!? I can't claim credit for the acronym, but at least I heard it first on Diane Rehm, so there is some sort of authenticity there, eh? I just wish I could remember who she was interviewing. And yes... I ALSO share the short attention span, though THAT, I call 'Writer's brain'

Stephen-well if you stop by just about every day, I will do just that!

Cold As Heaven said...

The Dilusional Doom Blogfest is such a fabulous bizzare idea. I just have to join >:)

Cold As Heaven

Helena said...

If you don't win the second round of ABNA, there is no justice in the world.

And I see you so much more as Lucille Ball (a very savy, very successful woman) than Vivian Leigh. Sure, Leigh was drop-dead gorgeous, but she was also bipolar and became hell to live with. Naked Tarts are fun like Lucy.

Cheeseboy said...

I'd like to think I am the Tim Burton of blogdom, but I am sure I come off more as the Chris Elliott.

I need your connections.

erica and christy said...

We bought my husband's family's farm and there was this super wonderful tree that I always loved to pieces and finally it was MINE ALL MINE. For almost exactly one year. Then the dreaded midwest straight-line winds cut it in half. booooo......(at least I have pictures)

Although I'm pretty sure no amount of wind could destroy that peep sculpture you posted. ;)
erica

LTM said...

oh, man, T.H. *snort* love, love, lurv you~ :D You woman dressed as a man dressed as a woman attempting to un-dress... :D xoxo <3 So glad we've become truly, deeply, madly friends~

CherylAnne Ham said...

Fellow crusader dropping in to say 'Hi'. I like your brand of crazy! Can't wait to follow along and get to know you even better. Love the peeps btw! :)

Trisha said...

Yep, this crusade is totally insane. And I'm now having to be very scientific about figuring out who the hell I've already followed and who I have yet to click on :P

Regina said...

Existing follower new crusader. I really enjoyed your post. You have really let us get to know more about you.

Madeline said...

Hey crusader! I too am in total love with this crusade! It was fun getting to know about you, can't wait to hear more from you! :D

Chantele Sedgwick said...

This crusade is crazy! :) I really enjoyed this post and getting to know you better! So fun. Just stopping by since I'm a fellow crusader! Nice to meet you! :)

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I've picked up a ton of new followers thanks to the Crusade as well! And don't worry, I don't do writing blogfests either so probably won't participate in many of the Crusades challenges.

tinadchayes said...

Your blog is a hoot! Very glad I found it thru the Crusade.

Your dog is cute, and the pole dancing bunny peep cracked me up!

Lois D. Brown said...

I feel like I'm your new best friend. (Don't worry. Not a stalker.) Anyway, great introduction of yourself. I'm your newest follower. My blog is www.idevourkidbooks.blogpspot.com

Gina Blechman said...

Great post. I love knowing about who I'm following. It makes everything so much more personal. Plus, you seem pretty fun and hilarious, so that can't hurt your chances of repeat visits. :-) Also, I am now also following Elizabeth. Thanks for that.

<3 Gina Blechman (fellow crusader)

Talli Roland said...

I love all of you! :) Er... not in sleazy way. You know what I mean.

Who is this American hating spammer? Odd!

Theresa Milstein said...

Hi. I'm visiting from Rachael Harrie's crusade. Nice to meet and follow!

Brian H said...

I am a fellow Crusader and new follower.

Any blog that uses a nod to Monty Python in its title automatically rises to the top of the pile.

Glad to be here!

Missed Periods said...

Nice to become acquainted with all of yous.

Robyn Campbell said...

What a great post. New follower here riding the crusade with you. Love the Python gesture. Very cool.