Thursday, October 11, 2012

Why I Hate Fall



Oh, I know. Yibus love it. You are going on and on about loving the crisp air and the colors and the sweaters and the apples. Go on. Get it out. But I DON'T LIKE IT. Here is my top 10 list of why:


10)   Students. Taking over the bloody world. At least in a college town. Much better to just have the college and no students, I say.

9)   Pro-Football. I DON'T CARE.

8)   Grants. Every fall, usually in October, my day job becomes a bizillion times more demanding and stressful than normal.

7)   Freaking CHRISTMAS decorations. For pete's sake, people. Wait until December for this crap. At least until after Halloween.

6)   “Can I have...” My children get so NEEDY in fall. New clothes, activities, rides. Somehow in summer they are nearly independent, then come fall they are money sucking needy needers.

5)   Dark Mornings. I hate walking to work in the dark.

4)   Molding at my desk. In all fairness, this happens in spring too. A bi-product of walking to work in the rain.

3)   Clothes. Itchy, binding layers are needed to keep warm. Not remotely as nice as nakedness.

2)   Bloody COLDS. Every fall I get one. Man, I hate colds. The one I have at the moment is making me cranky and is probably the primary culprit for this blog.

1)   WINTER IS COMING. Damn Starks are always right eventually.


Fall's redeeming qualities: Hot cider, Oregon Duck football, pretty leaves and candy corn.


21 comments:

Jessica Bell said...

This is the reason why September is my favourite month. It's the only month when I have finally got through a shit load of responsibilities and the only month when pending responsibilities which will again last me a full year are a decent amount of time away. Sigh. September is over.

Em-Musing said...

I love you for posting this!!!! I too hate autumn. Chile and hot chocolate are NOT a reason to celebrate. And all those beautiful colors? Are the color of death...dying leaves. After decades autumns and winters in the Midwest I moved to forever summer - the Riviera Maya, Mexico. No more snow boots!

Carol Kilgore said...

Haven't purchased candy corn yet. Can't wait!

We had half a day of fall last week :)

simonclarter.com said...

I'm in Orlando right now. It's warm enough I could be naked if I wanted to, but I suspect the other people at the meeting would have issues with that.... :)

E.J. Wesley said...

The only one on your list I'll concur with (yes, I LOVE Fall) is the grants. I've spent most of my adult life working in grants, and only other grant people realize the madness of closing out years, applying for funding renewal, etc.

I've sworn to punch the next person in the kidney who says, "Grants are free money!" Maybe for college students, but any other program that gets them has to work their butts off for those government scraps.

Now you've made me angry at Fall too! lol

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Knew the issue of more clothes would bother you.
Football! Bring it on. Next best thing is the cooler weather because the humidity finally goes away. And I don't care how naked you get, humid is humid.

JCS said...

I have to agree with you on several of your points Hart. Mostly those darn college students that take over the streets drive me crazy and this cold I'm fighting too.
Nice GOT reference too! Winter IS coming!

Hart Johnson said...

Jessica-yeah, there is good and bad in September but the chaos has definitely started.

Em-I would SO love to live someplace tropical! I'm married to a man, though, who'd prefer Alaska... yes, opposites attract.

Carol-I'd probably like it better if it was that scarce!

Simon-Naked weather and you can't be naked!? That's torture! I say go to the meeting naked anyway!

EJ *giggles* Yeah, sorry about that. Don't want you to hate fall if you didn't already! But yeah... not free money. Mostly it is work for nothing.

Alex-yeah, if I lived someplace hotter and with more humidity even than here, I might like fall better myself.

Hart Johnson said...

Ha--Jackie-you are a summer girl, too.

Old Kitty said...

It's the shorter days and longer nights that depress me most about Autumn!! That and not being able to get NAKED more often! LOL! take care
x

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Autumn means hurricane season is finally over for us down here which is a good thing! Hope the cold gets better. I hate those things as well -- they love me since they always set up shop in my body for the winter!

Ella said...

Fun post Hart!
I do love Fall, but the worst for me is the horror of Christmas being shoved on us. It feels like Dracula at our throat and the Wolf man at our heels. I do not have enough garlic, wooden stakes and silver bullets, to alter my world!
College town, oh, yes...lots of antics in your neck of the woods!
Oh, I said neck, Dracula would like that. Someone needs to make a horror flick on campus! ;D

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Since I lost my parents, grandparents, and stepfather in the fall, it's always been a sad time for me. I do like the cooler weather and fall colors though.

Michael Offutt, Tebow Cult Initiate said...

You have no care for pro football? ZOMGAH HART...how could you?!

For some reason I kind of enjoy watching it.

Patti said...

Dark mornings does make it harder to read on the walk to work...

Coleen Brooks said...

See...yum...candy corn. If fall only had candy corn, I'd love it.
And I like that with all your negatives, you have some positives thrown in.

litlmarysunshine.blogspot.com

Tonja said...

I love the pumpkin picture.

Southpaw said...

and...ya lost me at the candy corn. :)

Michael Di Gesu said...

Cheer up Hart ...

It's the cold. You usually have a much sunnier disposition... ( I know you are saying "Cram it, Michael!") But that's okay.

I am one of those FALL lovers except for one thing .... THE Frickin' wind... That's what yanks my chain this time of year. GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Johanna Garth said...

I'm sad to say goodbye to bikini and popsicle season too, but this fall has been so beautiful and dry I've been hoodwinking myself into believing the RAIN isn't coming!

But, alas, it came today. :(

LTM said...

LOL! Omg, TH, listen to your funny little curmudgeonly self! :D I don't hate fall, but man, I sure don't care for harsh winters. I guess I'd better get my spaghetti ready... ;p ((hugs)) <3