Whereby I am inconveniently reminded just how public a forum this is... AFTER I failed to consider it and so hurt some feelings...
My step-sister accused me of having an agenda, but it is honestly just the opposite. I forgot how potentially PUBLIC it might be around here. When I write my blog, I am writing to my online friends with whom I have developed a relationship, and who do not and WILL not ever know the real life people in my life, past or present. I want to share the good of my life, but it completely didn't cross my mind my REAL LIFE friends/family might see and take exception.
I really never meant to hurt or harm anyone. I feel very badly about it. I really do sincerely offer my apology.
So it's not a total loss, I thought maybe you all could learn from my big blunder.
KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE
Of COURSE you know the audience you are WRITING for, but who else might see what you have to say? I know from my own decisions that there are stories that need to wait. I have one that has a skeleton in the real life my grandfather led that I know can't be written until a couple people I love who might be hurt are gone.
With fiction, I think just getting things into the right place is protective—you publish with a blurb that discloses enough... in a genre that gives fair warning... I think unless you include real life details that aren't solely yours to share, you are probably okay. Non-fiction doesn't have a lot of place in fiction.
I need to carry that thinking forward into other stuff. I know to be careful HERE to not show it if I'm feeling frustrated with some component of the writing system... and I know not to slam other writers, though I never feel compelled to so that is sort of unnecessary knowledge... but I DID go off on that 'dark YA blogger' last week... (attacking her views, not her, but I said some rude things about people who agreed with her---the term delusional might have been thrown around). I guess I have thus far tried to limit any negative to public figures that can take it... except when I have real life frustrations... and maybe that is what came out here.
The problem is thinking my story is MY story. There are other players, and they bring to it something different-- different background and experience. Their perception of the experience is different and, as I should know from HWMNBMOTI, they carry a different opinion about privacy. My TMI motto is not universally held.
The Other Piece?
When you get called on a big goof... take it. Two of my step-siblings responded negatively—personal slams for what I said... I could respond back personally and negatively—or I could argue—try to 'prove' my point, but that doesn't solve anything. It escalates it. I just need to realize what is right... see the truth of my mistakes through the mean language. Realize they are responding out of being offended. I need to just apologize and go forward.
And I really AM sorry. Especially with my step-sister, with whom I have sometimes had a close relationship—I feel very very badly.
Please accept my humble apologies for not thinking more clearly and for not realizing the effect my words might have.