Dieting with Daughter

At Niagara Falls in August 2009

Thing One, my first born, will be sixteen soon and she's at that... age... you know the one—self-conscious, full of comparisons against impossible others... But she also had the misfortune to inherit some of my unfortunate features... We did not spring from pixies.

We live in a place with a high rate of overweight, and as much as I hate to think it, I'm very thankful for that. There have been moments of concern, but she hasn't felt she was fat from age 11 as I did (when honestly, I wan't overweight until I was 14 or 15, but I was tall, so I felt significantly LARGER).

Daughter expressed it for the first time in 8th grade (“mom, am I chubby?”)

A parent dies a little when that happens. I think I did okay with my response though. “I think you look really good when you are swimming regularly.” And it's true. A fit form can hold whatever size it is well, and besides that, swim season always saw about a ten pound drop.

After that she stayed active. Her freshman year she did 3 water sports—more overlap than down time. This year though, she thought to give up one... and then felt our family's financial pinch and started thinking about a JOB so she didn't do another too...

So there was some gain.



My Own Sordid Weight Tale

I've always struggled. The only time in my life it was ever easy was college, as someone else allotted my meals and I ran 6 days a week. My weight has gone up and down since I was about 14 with my more recent successes at 50, 60, and 40 pound losses... You can see if I'd kept all that off I'd weigh nearly nothing... No. The sad fact is when I weighed in last Tuesday I was only 6 pounds shy of my highest weight ever. My attempt at the New Year didn't even remotely get off the ground.


Teaming It

I feared I might hate this, but it's actually really good. When daughter first suggested it, she said her science teacher had lost 30 pounds on the South Beach Diet and did I think dad would let her eat something different for dinner. (he is our cook--anything he doesn't condone, doesn't really work)

I (CAREFULLY) went into the danger of extreme diets and the SANITY of Weight Watchers—real food—whatever you want—but in accountable combos and portions... splurging is okay if you PLAN for it—have to eat your minimum (the thing with a teen I knew I had to be very clear on—no starving). I talked her through planning the day around 'not sure what dinner is'--he is willing to warn us when it is something BAD,  like pizza, but really there is no NEED to cook special--most meals fall between 8 and 12 points... if we leave 12 open, we are fine... if it is 8 points, there is room for a snack.

She's been funny—she's called me a few times every day to ask how many points this or that is. She doesn't like how much I ballpark it—she wants me to look stuff up, but honestly... I've done this weight watchers thing successfully about 5 times—if I am working the program, I can WORK the program. It's when I stop working the program that I have trouble. (for instance telling myself wine doesn't count is a problem... perhaps a habit)

And you know what? Doing this together makes me feel more accountable. Cheating makes me feel like I'm cheating on her. I've done better this round than I have for a while... granted... today is just one week, but I have that 'I CAN' feeling, and the scale is edging... There is only the faintest envy of youth, as dear daughter has dropped 13 pounds to my 3...


Drabbles:  My writing group, the Burrow, has our spring feature posted.  We Drabble to images and would love it if you wanted to check us out.  http://www.the-burrow.org/


As for my D blogs to share...

Daily Dodo Laura is one of my new buddies—we just connected through the Blogger Crusade, but her sense of whimsy is a ton of fun.

Donna Hole shares daytime AND writing interests with me—she is a social worker by day and brings a lot of heart to her stuff (even if it can be dark disturbing stuff) (see... social science by day, dark disturbing at night... LOOK at that overlap *teehee*)