Saturday, April 9, 2011

4-Letter H-Words

Holy: I don't want to offend anyone, though surely I am... but has there ever BEEN a 4 letter word that has caused more problems? I think not. The problem is when we assign something with this high an attribute, then we don't tolerate any disagreement on the matter. And frankly, what we are taught is holy is mostly an accident of geography.

As for me, I will stick with Holy Cow, Holy Crap, and Holy Hand Grenade. Though I also have a friend Holy Moly...


Hing: I TOLD you I would tell this story!!!

The origin of this is attributable to Cruella Collett (linked below) but I WAS THERE! See English is actually Cruella's second language, but she is very bright and hip, so she is keen to pick up the vernacular. We were on a Harry Potter discussion thread (with a strictly enforced PG rating) and it's Wednesday (yes, that matters to the story).

Cruella lives in Norway (though this might have been when she was in Japan the first time), and by the time the US was awake, the thread had a small buzz about Cruella's deleted post.. Deleted?! You usually had to be pretty bad for that! (I had 2 posts deleted ever, out of *shifty* some 12,000—many of those because fan fiction can only be posted 500 words at a time—I think... a page and a half single spaced, anyway--my POINT though, is you KNOW me... if I only had 2 deleted...)

So Cruella has a deleted post and is CONFUSED, so she posts the content of the email telling her... “Be careful when using the H word, especially the 'ing' form of it."

H word? WTF? WHAT H word... you might think Hell, though my grandmother regularly used hell, so that seems a bit Puritan... but Cruella hadn't USED Hell... and what would Helling be? Heimlich? Harry (surely that is okay on a Harry Potter thread?--even hairy is canon—think Hagrid's suit). Discussion proceeded a long time. And finally Cruella pointed out that we were missing the obvious... an H word with ing... Obviously HING was the offender! From that time on, it has been a universal swearword for our gang, not quite as rude as Pants, and infinitely more diverse.

(and if you haven't figured it out, she came into the thread that morning wishing us happy hump day, but, in her not quite clear on English slangness, said Happy Humping Day) (yeah, there were some prudish mods...)


There were no funny hope signs...
Hope: If I were to choose a word to be sacred instead of Holy, this would be it. I think this is what keeps people going, no matter the circumstance. We can take an awful lot if we can maintain hope things will get better. I believe LACK of hope is what drives otherwise decent people to commit most material crimes... to make decisions in a poor neighborhood like 'selling drugs is my only chance to not be homeless'--it sound horrible to those of us with hope in our lives, but people without hope opt for what they perceive as least bad. It's why things are true like every dollar invested in education PREVENTS $4 spent later on jails... Education gives hope.

I also like an ending in which the ends aren't all tied up, necessarily, but we clearly see HOPE because the hero has had an epiphany or the evil has been banished (even at heavy cost)  Instead of Happily ever after, I like a Hopeily ever after...


Hwah!

Okay, so that is more a SOUND than a word... But it appropriately expressed my feeling at forgetting to connect G Blogs yesterday, so TODAY I am rectifying that...

Giraffability of Digressions: Cruella is a fellow Burrower and wordsmith extraordinaire (as noted in the Hing story). I think, of my friends, she is the surest at making me laugh, even when the story wouldn't necessarily be funny, except that her TELLING of it is. She also is my Digressionista, which for a Digressionist is a religious advisor.


Giggles and Guns: Mary is a long time blogger friend, and ALSO appreciated for her humor. She is also responsible for my reader endorsement in my header



And then... Hwah Hwah! (the H recommendations)

Holly Ruggiero:  Holly is both a great writer and a skilled artist. Her blog tends to cycle through themes with great, interesting facts. This month she is working through stones, precious and otherwise, and there is some great stuff for use in writing—she is a fun resource for those details.


Hot Stuff from a Real Wench: Liz lives in my real life world and writes SPICY erotica... much of it beer based (I know, right?) If you don't like erotica because it's too spicy, this may not be for you, but if you don't like it because usually it is poorly done, this will prove some people can NAIL this stuff (yes, there was a double entendre there)


So there you have it... H with a little make up from G... I hope you all have a great weekend!

29 comments:

Andrew Green said...

HA!
Excellent, well-thought out post.

I would say that the most troublesome 4 letter word is actually...well...I don't want to write it here.

But there IS one profanity that I think really still grabs peoples' attention, even in these desensitized times. It begins with the letter C.

You can say the F word, the S word, the A word...but the C word is really the only one that still raises eyebrows. well, that, and the dreaded N word...but not even I support usage of that one.

Cruella Collett said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAÅÅ! Hing, you crack me up (especially with the lack of funny hope-pictures - I adore that!). As for the rest of the post - I couldn't agree more. Holy - definitely problematic. Hopely every after - probably the best end to any fairytale ever (I might steal this at some point...). Hing/hump/humping - what can I say? Sometimes pay it off when language is not English first.

sue said...

Crap, we're weird aren't we. And what is problematic in your part of the world wouldn't raise an eyebrow here and vice versa. Can't win! No funny 'hope' sign?
Sue@JumpingAground (alliteration & drabbles)
Sue@traverselife(Workplace bullying)

Jessica Bell said...

hahaha! Reading about holiness and humping have never been so entertaining! :o)

Jessica @ The Alliterative Allomporph

Tracy said...

Great post and very clever...my words I use in frustration are more like CRIPES and CRAP and GeezLouise!
but perhaps HOLY CRAP is an alternative?

Happy A to Z~

Old Kitty said...

Hing?!?! I'm still trying to figure out what Cruella did that was so wrong her post had to be deleted! What happened?!?! LOL!

OH well another NAKED-ly H day for the weekend!! Yay! Take care
x

Tundiel said...

Hing indeed.

By the way, your Tartishness, I do believe we were mind-melding over our 'H' posts. Great Tarts (er, minds), really DO think alike!

Nf1andprek-whisper said...

I am really digging the way you structure your posts... I agree Holy can be difficult... as a word... Guns and giggles is a great blog name I will go check it out.

GigglesandGuns said...

Holy humping, Hart-girl, you've really done it this time.
Who but you could work holy, hump and hope into the same post?
The header remains true (Yeah, like there was any doubt!).
Thanks for the kind mention.

Kari Marie said...

Hump has never been so funny. Or should I say hing? Delightful post for H!

Gina Blechman said...

Hehe, great post. LOVE the pictures. Next wednesday I'll definately have to wish someone a "happy humping day." :-)

<3 Gina Blechman

Hart Johnson said...

Andrew--true dat... I don't like the C word, but my problems with it are based in the sexism of it--if there were a male body part perceived as equally bad, I wouldn't take issue with either. (and in the UK, they use is liberally... the nuts)

Cruella-this story just reminds me of how much fun we had, eh? I miss the imprisoned books in the Japan library, too..

Sue, so true that different places use words differently... I know fanny is fairly nasty down under and here it is a euphemism for bum.

Jessica--yeah, probably I should avoid any holy humping references...

Tracy--teehee--I usually just let em rip in real life (not frequently, but the pollyanna words just make me snort... I do like Holy Crap though... and Hing and Pants of course (as swear words... I do NOT like pants as a material object)

Jenny-I know--the overreacting mod was part of why this was so funny, I think.

Tara--twisty mind melds YAY!

Wasabi-thank you! And yes, Mary is fabulous--you won't be sorry!

Mary--speaking of!!! yeah, erm... I suppose I was particularly bendy today...

Kari-thank you!

Hart Johnson said...

Gina-we cross posted! Be careful WHO you wish happy humping day! Unless you're looking for a spanking, I mean...

Siv Maria said...

Ha ha ha. Loved this post, and just to be clear, I am not Cruella. Strange name for a norwegian. I do so relate though. The H word...very scary!

Holly Ruggiero said...

Wow! I can’t believe someone would delete a post for that even if the person had perfect English. I do, however, now have a new expression for Wednesdays. ;)

The Holy Hand Grenade brought a huge smile to my face – awesome flick.

Hart Johnson said...

Oh, Siv, there are lots of Norwegians around here! I think it's my top non-English speaking countries... (and Cruella is a pen name)

Holly, I know, right? And YAY for Python solidarity!

The Words Crafter said...

That's a funny story! I'm going to start using it and see if I can make it a 'thing' with my friends and co-workers.

Loved the signs, btw!

Marjorie said...

I know I remember the Hing thing. Or maybe just the talk of it. Either way still a funny word.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I see Holly is getting the love today. Don't know if I'd ever have a reason to use tha word in a story, but now I feel compelled to try!

Michael Di Gesu said...

Well, that was a mouthful for sure.....

Have a great weekend, you Royal Tartness!

Laura said...

Hello Hart - great story - I can just imagine you all thinking WTF could she have written?! Love it.

Off to seek out your G and H blogs - or those that I don't know.
Have a wonderful weekend
Lxxx

Hart Johnson said...

Yay for compulsions to use Hing elsewhere! teehee... we are always happy for our insanity to spread. Thanks so much for comments, everyone! I appreciate all of them!

Jan Morrison said...

Holy Hing - I did my post today on 'heck' and the weirdness of swear words too. golly dang fiddlesticks but that was fun! Great post. A keeper.
Jan Morrison

Raquel Byrnes said...

Hey! Fancy meeting you here on the a to z challenge! I think that's how I met you last year in the first place. =) Loved your "H" post, by the way.
Edge of Your Seat Romance

Walter Knight said...

I get deleted by Amazon all the time, but usually for saying words longer than four letters. Did you know you can't say 'Walmart' on an Amazon post?

I snuck 'bendaho' through the censors, but only once. The Amazon automated computer screening even catches 'phuck-ewe.'

Hope I didn't shock anyone.

vbtremper said...

Holy Guacamole is a popular one in my house. Hope is one of my favorite words and appears in the title of my ms. Hing is just too funny for words - great story and great post!
-Vicki

Holly Jahangiri said...

Too funny, really - I once got reprimanded on a PG forum for writing "@#$%!" which is, you know, a DIRECT QUOTATION from Daffy Duck. Hmmph.

Happy Humping Day... *smirk*


Holly Jahangiri

It's All a Matter of Perspective

LTM said...

this is fantastic, and I lurv it, and now I want to know... What does Hing stand for in Norway??? Walking? I"m so lost... ;p <3

Simon C. Larter said...

Have I mentioned this before? Hing's the common name for Asafoetida, a spice made from dried latex gum that's good for reducing gassiness in bean dishes and such. It smells bad, though, so you only use it in small amounts.

It's colloquially called "devil's dung." Which could be a curse. *shrugs*

And now I'm educational-ed out for the day. ;)