Odd Self Indulgence

It's not a great secret that I've got sort of a... Center of the Universe thing going on.  I've always liked to be the center of attention.  Oddly, it doesn't go with my social skills at all.  I speak slowly (more at the pace a person might type--in fact I speak completely absent of the 'erm's and 'like's that punctuate some conversation... I speak like I type... EXACTLY (thank you Courtney for being the person to point that out--but it's true).  Slow speech does not make for the WIT a center of attention really calls for, yet there you have it.  Oh, sure, I say funny things... but usually about fifteen minutes too late.  It is better geared for an online discussion where I have some time to process first.

Do I have a point?

Two, actually.

I LOVE this blogosphere.  I've met a number of FABULOUS people, and a few kindred spirits.  One of those kindred spirits gave me an award this morning.

I think Jan recognizes in me, something I recognize in HER, only she has a fair bit more wisdom and grace about her.  The award is for people who tell (sometimes not pretty, but necessary) truths.  And I aspire to be that kind of honest.  I have a content label for 'foot in mouth' for a reason.  I am incapable of the politics that require somebody to be diplomatic (or classy, or dignified)... I call a spade a spade.

Don't get me wrong.  Misattribution is STILL among the highest of my callings, but when I misattribute, I try to point out what I am doing, therefore being honest about my exaggeration, rumor mongering, and fictional creations that serve as community service among my friends.  In terms of confronting the publishing industry though, I suppose there are times I should just keep my opinions to myself.

So I feel VERY honored.

Now the rules of the award are to present 10 truths... And because I am who I am, I think I will present things that are CONTRARY to the person I've become.

1)  There was a time I could have thought of NOTHING more glorious than trading lives with Marianne Gravette (a Playboy Centerfold circa 1982).  I had an early dream of modeling.  I was tall enough, but never DID have the boobs.

2)  I was pretty darned involved in Young Life in High School.  It is a Christian youth group made up of very nice people (lots of singing--my favorite part--lots of nice boys to shock--that was good, too).  It just wasn't the 'party crowd' I spent my weekends with, or the rebels I ended up identifying with in the long run.  And my adult views on Christianity would be frowned on--they solidified during grad school (it's common knowledge that only about 5% of people who finish grad school, come out in the same relationship or with their religious views in tact--I figured I was doing good to stay married)...

3)  I was Junior Miss for my home town.  My mother fell under the illusion it meant I would henceforth behave and she could stop worrying. *snort*  My mother seemed not to understand my lack of appreciation for pomp.  I didn't however, shame the title publicly.  I told my aunt recently that it changed my behavior NOT AT ALL and she laughed.

4)  I went to the University of Oregon to rebel(go hippies!), but in 1985 I went through rush because rebelling among rebels means doing something conformist.  (in my defense, I chose the sorority--at least at Oregon, of like-minded women). *chicken dances with fellow Thetas*

5)  In college, though I LOVED the atmosphere of rebellion, I again did the 'prestigious' thing by applying to the school of journalism and majoring in advertising.  I liked being part of an exclusive club.  (the J-school had two 'weeder classes', a test, and a 2.5 GPA required to get in as a junior).  May not sound like a lot, but I had a number of friends who failed to get in.

6)  My college boyfriend was a clingy sort, but, having not had an exclusive relationship before that, I dived in.  We knew each other as 'Nerpo' (me) and 'Gloppo' (him) for two years--it was a strange, codependent mess, but as it was my first like that, I thought it was how it worked, and he was VERY NICE.  Unfortunately, he thought I was too, which I just couldn't maintain... I was really meant to be naughty.  I broke up my senior year.  Had I not, I'd be married to a lawyer now.  Life would have been easier, and I would have been more secretly naughty... probably not good for my soul compared to this open thing. (my hubby now loves who I AM, not who he wanted me to be).

7)  I worked in advertising for 3 years and actually ENJOYED that corporate morass.  I learned a lot and played with the big kids.

8)  While working in advertising, and after losing a significant amount of weight for the first time, I once actually muttered, "you can't be too rich or too thin."  My boss was STUNNED (it was at a corporate Christmas Party)

9)  In that advertising job I represented the local McDonald's operators.  While I maintain that the food is BAD for you, and am not a giant fan of the CORPORATION, I STILL support the owners of the individual stores (about 80% are locally and privately owned)--they are incredibly hard workers, and run tight businesses that give a lot of people opportunities to move up through hard work, which I prefer over the 'charismacratocracy' I think most of the world runs on.

10)  While I am a ME ME ME advocate out loud, always advising people to determine what they can really live with, in real life, I happen to be a little more of a pushover.  I am a nurture over nature person, and almost always give people the benefit of the doubt.  It means occasionally forgiving unforgivables, or accommodating the nuts in my life.  My mother is currently in a waiting period, as was my husband before her, but in the long run, no matter how much I say 'You need to do what you need to do', it seems WHAT I NEED TO DO, is forgive and acclimate.  It has been said that a Crab will lose a claw before letting go, and for this Cancer, it is true.  Once in my life, always in my life, no matter what nastiness you might get up to.

So after that confessional... the contrary things about me... I would like to AWARD the scrappy honesty award to I'M NOT HANNAH.  I have a TON of blogs I love, but this one seems to hold the spirit of just saying it, no matter how much somebody might not like it, or somebody might raise an eyebrow.  An open honesty about life.  That is what I believe this particular award is about.