Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Walk this Way! RUUUUUULES

There are only so many points at which Aerosmith intercepts Monty Python, and being one of them, I decided to play on another, as it gets at several themes that relate to writing. Since each is sort of it’s own thing, I will cover them over a couple days…
People who know me personally may be aware that I have authority issues (and deep suspicion of anyone who DOESN’T). So in my diligent reading of all the advice out there on how to get published, every RUUUUUULE (be sure to sneer that every time you see it) I see chaffs my tender nudist skin. Never do this. Always do that. I don’t allow ANYTHING that has this. Well Poo, I say! Poo! Okay… maybe only poof. Because the fact of the matter is, if an agent has a rule, and I don’t follow it, I can just cross them off my list.
BUT, I’ve studied the devious ways of following RUUUUUULES, and know that there are leaders who get it and people who don’t. A hard-a…bdominal master who has a bunch of RUUUUUULES because they love power, is NOT going to be my kind of playmate anyway (unless I can dress him in lingerie and make him dance like I like). So I will find the agents out there who are Ministers of Silly Walks. I mean, sure, everybody has STANDARDS, but at least some people can make fun of them, get creative, and do a silly side skedaddle into place (an more importantly, will award me points for creatively following them, rather than blindly brown nosing my way in.)

5 comments:

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

I would never have been able to figure out a place where Aerosmith and Monty Python met! Clever.

I think it's best to just be aware of the rules, then flaunt them. As long as you know what they are, you can ignore them.

Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder

Hart Johnson said...

My loves vary widely. I grew up in a hard rock town, so it is a little sentimental to me, but Steven Tyler is very in touch with his feminine side, which I also like. Gotta love a man who loves a boa.

And I completely agree--learn the rules and flaunt them!

joe doaks-Author said...

Well, for me, it’s not the rules so much, as it is two things about them
--They’re inconsistent. One agent wants X. Another agent wants Y. If you do X, that agent will hunt you down and disconnect your Internet capabilities—or worse. Well nothing could be worse, I guess.
--Second point that troubles me. The arrogance with which the rules are stated, posted, worded, you name. It’s like a personal power trip for some of these folks. I guess they feel like the unagented, or yet to be published are less than worthy. They apparently think, “I can make them dance, so, I will.” Picture old timey movie where bad guy shoots bullets around the feet of the hapless.

Anyway, those two things annoy me.

Best Regards, Galen
Imagineering Fiction Blog

joe doaks-Author said...

Yo, Hart. I tried to use the Follow this Blog widget, but got a not installed correctly error. So, let me know when it's up to speed, and I'll be a follower...long as there aren't too many rules.

Galen

Hart Johnson said...

Galen-I think your points are exactly right (though I'd prefer fewer rules overall) but rules touted arrogantly absolutely rub me the wrong way. Especially when it is pretty darned easy to find exceptions. Just rather go with people who are more open-minded.

And I think it's set--I see I've got you following. Thank you!