Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Youthful Frights vs Adult Fears: A Blogfest


So this is part of a blogfest hosted by Denise and Yolanda at Write, Edit, Publish... and I love the topic. Because we all grow up, eh? Most of us anyway. And these differences in what scares us (and whether we like it or not) are enormous.

Erm... and I failed to follow the rules... I was meant to write a piece of fiction here and instead wrote a blog post... ooops...  but it is a bad habit of mine... only reading part of it...

 *sigh*

I did this once. Wouldn't now.
Man, I was a kids who LOVED the rush of fear. Maybe it was adrenalin. Going fast, spinning, heights... that all fits in there, too, but I really loved to be frightened. I still enjoy scary movies but there is something about all of these things that has changed... About the time I became a mom (I was 28) anything life endangering (perceptively) got REAL scary, not FUN scary. Part of it was my pregnancy was the first time in my life I'd ever felt physically fragile—off balance, slow to change directions... no more darting across the street like I always had. I could honest-to-god get hit.

But it is more complicated than that. I think it may even be biological. It makes sense to me that people who become more cautious when children are born are more likely to both have children live to adulthood AND be around to raise them.

Yeah, not so much.
So what SCARE did I used to enjoy that now I don't? The PLAUSIBLE stuff. I still LOVE suspense—I prefer the unseen threat—but I hate serial killer movies—totally too scary (except from a detective of cop perspective—then I can do it--but not killer or victim PoV). I never liked the blood and guts ones much, though I can take it in certain circumstances—like the gore of The Walking Dead doesn't bug me because it is zombie gore.

But the things that truly terrify me (that always seems horrifying but never popped to mind first when I was young) are things like losing children (or horrible things happening to them) or losing my personal faculties... I mean I know I wouldn't know, but in the case of something like dementia that comes on slow, I know that would really bother me. I have had a good processor my whole life (though not nearly as great a memory) and I LIKE being smart. I think I may not take it well if that all slipped far enough I was no longer capable of at least mental independence.

So how have your fears changed? Be sure to check out the other blog hop contributors, too—they are posting between today and Friday.

19 comments:

Andrew Leon said...

I agree that parenthood changes all of that. I grew up pretty much not being scared of anything. That all changed with kids.

Crystal Collier said...

I hear you! The scariest thing to me would be losing my family. Truthfully. Nothing else really scares me...other than playing piano in front of people, but that's another conversation for another day. =)

~Sia McKye~ said...

For me scary has never been a choice for entertainment or reading. While I do like a good thriller or suspense, like you, I don't like the gore or stories told from the killer's or victim's POV. Hubs loves The Walking Dead--ugh. :-)

Real fear came with having kids. I was very diligent in protecting against all manner of things without stiffling my kid. But the worry of my child being taken, molested, or injuring himself was ever present. He's 21 and we got through it all without problem. Of course, I still worry. :-)

Sia McKye Over Coffee

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I'm very afraid of something happening to my children. The fears for them change as they get older. Once they start to drive, they're outside your protection and it gets really scary.

Madilyn Quinn said...

I've always been a bit of a weenie when it comes to adrenaline pumping things. It's only gotten worse since having my kiddo, so I feel ya there. I sometimes worry TOO much about her. She's not a dumb kid, so I shouldn't have to worry so much and be scared for her, but yeah. :/
Love zombies :) I prefer serial killer type movies over ghost type movies. It's weird logic why, but try to follow haha .. the serial killer bit doesn't scare me as much as the ghost bit even though I don't really believe in any supernatural things. It's the unknown for sure in that that scares me. Serial killers are documented truths, so I know that happens and is real so for some reason.. just not as scary.

Roland D. Yeomans said...

After children you are not living just for yourself anymore. Life always put more scary things on my plate than I wanted -- so going out of my way for more just seemed silly!

Laura Clipson said...

I'm a pretty big scaredy cat already, so I hope I don't get more scared once I have kids. I've never been fearless.

Chrys Fey said...

I'm a new fan of The Walking Dead...as in I watched the marathon earlier this month and now I'm obsessed. lol It can get pretty gory on that show, especially when they just keep hacking away at something after it's long dead.

When I was a kid, I loved scary movies but not anymore.

Yolanda Renee said...

Hi Hart,
So glad you choose to participate in the WEP Halloween Challenge. You fulfilled the first part of the challenge beautifully, and only one part was necessary. Some did the flash, some did both, that's why it such fun. Discussing childhood scares and how they change into adulthood – you've got it covered.

Parenthood does change everything. I can't watch anything involving children, as the victim or the doer. Those, where the kid is evil, I really, really hate!
As far as my fears, they've grown – I'm now afraid of everything! :)
Thanks again,
Happy Halloween!

Denise Covey said...

Thanks for joining the creep fest Hart. We don't even like to refer to 'rules', but I guess some guidelines are necessary. We are pretty open to anything! So a blog post is fine! And this one fit the bill.

I think many of us fear dementia. How sad to lose your mind when your body refuses to die. If what 'they' say is right, writers and their ilk should keep that old brain active. How many new pathways does our brain have to find when we're plotting a story idea? Nice to see a study on that!

Hope you're fine after that most exhausting vacay. How's hubs' back?

Thanks again for sharing for the theme...

Denise :-)

dolorah said...

I used to love roller coasters, the farris wheel, things that made my stomach flutter. Now I get nauseous watching it on tv. Dementia is a frightening thought for me too. I have many old lady fears, and dislike myself for the fear. Gads, I'm my mother now!!

Olga Godim said...

You are right, Hart. As we mature, our fears change. What we enjoyed as kids, the cheap thrill of adventure, often seems foolhardy or downright idiotic to a parent with growing children. And new fears creep up too, the real ones, the ones that matter. Great post.

Nilanjana Bose said...

I was never really frightened as a child, fears were fun, make believe and I knew it...I have got progressively more scared as I have grown older. The pinnacle of fear is reached at parenthood of course, and I don't know if one can come down from teetering at the top ever. Fears change as we grow older, and they change us too as humans. Thought provoking post.

Helena said...

You're so right about our fears changing as we age. I still like adrenaline rushes, but now my biggest fears center around losing loved ones or my job/income. The funny thing with me is, I've found that if I tell myself I've only got a couple more years to live (just a what if supposition) my fears kinda vanish.

I don't like bloody movies or shows either. Thrillers or horror flicks where we can't see the threat--those are what I like.

N. R. Williams said...

My fears are more down to earth. Fire and falling are the big ones. If I take two steps up a ladder I start shaking. My mom has dementia. The nursing staff has her on a special diet and they work with her, so it's not too bad. My take on that is, hopefully I'll no longer remember the bad things I've suffered.
Nancy

D.G. Hudson said...

Losing one's faculties is scary but losing the independence which goes along with that is what causes the most frustration. I observed that at the care home where my MIL stayed. Some call it being scared of certain things, I call it being cautious. I don't like what I can't see, and I don't really fear ghosts, I fear the living creeps, and being alone in a dark deserted area. . . My mother loved scary stuff and made me watch the movies with her, which is probably why I don't like them now. Give me aliens any day.

Elephant's Child said...

I am not a parent but the 'plausible fears' snuck up on me and have taken hold. And are much, much harder to dislodge than the bunyips and bitey things under the bed type fears.
Losing my mind, my independence both scare me witless. A fear amplified because my health makes them more than possible.
It does however allow me to deal with vampires, shape shifters, and dragons with some (possibly misplaced) equanimity.

Arpan Ghosh said...

I love getting a good fright now and then, though I generally avoid horror movies. Sometimes, you want to end up sleeping with the lights on, if only so you can laugh about it later. That being said, I've never been involved in the sort of adrenaline-pumping activities where there's a real chance of physical harm. So no skydiving or bungee jumping for me. Heck, I didn't even ride my first roller coaster till college, and even that was a tiny one!

As a non-married non-parent, I can't quite relate to some of those fears (I mean, conceptually, I get it, but it doesn't make my spine tingle), but losing my mind is something that terrifies me. Like you, I'm quite proud of the ol' noodle, and I shudder at the thought of that deteriorating one day at a time. I'm not sure what frightens me more, that I'll be powerless to stop it, or that I'll hit a point where I don't even realize it's happening anymore and consider everything to be 'normal'. Ah, I wish I hadn't brought that up now...

J Lenni Dorner said...

Yes, losing memories or forgetting is certainly scary! It's rarely the basis for horror ("The Forgotten" was pretty good though. With Julianne Moore.)