Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Digressuary: You're Invited

Know how February is the worst month EVER?

You don't?

Well lemme e'splain...

Seems combining holidays would improve them greatly
Stupid Holidays

You know, I could probably forgive Groundhog's Day. Who DOESN'T love a rodent holiday? But it is followed fairly soon by EASTER and that darned bunny reminds us that Groundhogs don't hide candy. Or presents. Or money. They just HIDE. And then there is that sappy St. Valentine's Day, named for a guy who, for all we know, never ONCE got laid (they don't saint people who have sex do they?). Yet we go out and spend money and think WE'RE going to get lucky? What are the odds of THAT? And then there is presidents' day... which I don't even get OFF, but never mind... but it's REAL purpose is to remind us that though there have been 44 presidents, we only get ONE holiday for them.

yeahno.  DONE with this.

Is it STILL winter? For real? You have GOT to be kidding me. I'm tired of it already, now move along. In all cases I like the beginning of a season much better than later in the season, but winter is my least favorite season. Winter sucks. It makes me cold and I can't abide it. I even felt this way in Oregon where winter was just gray and rain. GO AWAY NOW.

What Am I To Do About It?

I'm replacing February this year with Digressuary. I'm hoping it will bring my Digressionista, Mari, back out of the blogging woodwork, will reconnect me with my faith (I practice Digression religiously) and help us forget DUMB FEBRUARY!!! For a month we will play, be silly and digress. So there. I am empress of the world and dib it so. Or at least empress of my blog... but if anyone wants to join me in PLAYING AWAY the rest of the bloody winter, PLEASE DO!

Note: Very amusing stuff if you 'Google Image' Digressionista... all from Mari, Tara and I, it seems...

And if anyone wanted a REAL blog today, I am over at Burrowers, Books and Balderdash, talking about PLOTTING!


Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

February always trips me up because it's so darn *short*. And the next thing I know, I'm hurtling into March, when I wasn't prepared for it. Love your digressions. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

At least it's a short month...

Mark Means said...

I've never been a big fan of Valentine's day. Not because I'm not romantic, but it just seems like nothing but a money grab by the card companies and stores. Meh.'s -never- really winter down here in Florida...just sayin' :P

Natasha said...

And you know the worst thing about February-sometimes when you are least expecting it, an extra day sneaks up on you too :-(
Digressuary is a great idea, and I might half join it.

Tina said...

I hear you sister, but I *love* winter. The rest of the year I'm sweating buckets. All the time. Sucks to always be wet. Carry a washcloth in your purse. Say "hot flash, I' fine" to strangers when really, you were meant for Swedish winters and max temps, once in a blue moon on a really unusual summer day, hit 70. Colorado summer? we count the days over 100 degrees and usually end up in the double digits.
However, I completely agree with you about stupid holidays. Valentine's Day being the worst offender. Why don't we just call it like it is, "Let's remind all the singles out there that they're alone, and while we're at it, guilt all the couples into thinking that roses and chocolate will fix what's ailing their relationship. And make a boatload of money off of others' angst. Like Mark said so well "meh".

Tina @ Life is Good
Co-host, April 2013 A-Z Challenge
@TinaLifeisGood, #atozchallenge

mshatch said...

I completely agree with you about winter. It ceases to be fun once Christmas is over imo. And don't get me started about having to wear a million layers of clothes just to stay reasonably warm INSIDE.

Michael Offutt, Speculative Fiction Author said...

I completely agree with you regarding February. One of the best opening lines I ever read was in a Clive Barker book and it went, "The great grey beast of February had swallowed Harvey Swick alive."

Basically, he too shares our sentiment...that February sucks. It's still winter, it's too far from Christmas and New Years that nothing left over from those parties even remotely sticks with you, and it's too far from spring to provide any hope.

It is a gray beast, and it swallows me alive every year. I'll try and distract it though for you Hart, so that it swallows me and you escape.

Kas said...

I have this little inkling inside that I'm still supposed to love February, leftover from when I was a kid and every kid loved their birthday month. But February has historically been gawdawful for me and Valentine's Day is also my least favorite holiday so I should like to happily join in on Digressuary.

Johanna Garth said...

I'm with you on February, Winter and Valentine's Day, but unfortunately I don't get to complain about this month because it's my daughter's birthday month which, understandably, she holds dear.

Hart Johnson said...

It's funny, I love so many people with February birthdays. It just can't seem to break through though... glad some of you can join the joy of Digressuary!

Yolanda Renee said...

Oh dear, and I eloped on Valentine's Day! Sap that I am. I admit it!

I love February because if comes after January, the month I really hate, and because it's the month I married, had my first son and it's the perfect transition between winter and spring.
Sorry, I still wish you well, nothing wrong with playing the winter away!

Helena said...

In February the days are still short and the weather is still crappy and cold Blech. March isn't much better. By April I get a better attitude.

Shaharizan Perez said...

Yup, I am sick of winter. It snows, then rain, then ice and then . . . it's foggy. Everyday I am like "What the flagnog is going on in NYC?" I shake my fist at the universe and then suck it up. But I'm with you on the Digressuary month of playfulness. :D

j welling said...

I don't believe you. I suspect you are grinding away madly and this is just a ploy. To what end ? I'm going with world literary domination.

World Domination for $500 please, Alex.

The answer is: this nekked llama mama in a tub won the 2014 Pulitzer in fiction what the rest of you bums goofed off by blowing the month of February.

the question ? Who is the Watery Tart ?

Back to the grind. There are verbs to mangle.