Monday, January 28, 2013

Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I'm a girl of wealth and taste...

Wait, that's not right. Wealth seems to keep elluding me, and as to taste... I can't really condone that. I just don't believe in it, except where food is concerned. So what am I on about?

TODAY is a day where the blogging writing community is hoping to welcome oodles of newerish bloggers by making it easier for all of us to get to know each other. If you want more info, or to sign up, go check it out HERE.

And as usual, I see I've forgotten to follow directions... too many words. Any sticklers on rules, just read the purple part:


ALL ABOUT ME!

Erm... yes, well... that IS what I'm supposed to talk about, yes? Is it wrong I like that?

*cough*

I am four score blondes and brunettes between the ages of 16 and 19 and a half... wait, that's not right... but it DOES get to the explainer about Watery Tart, my online persona... she sprang from Monty Python in all the absurd silliness I could muster. That is who you will generally meet around here (also fitting because I wrote my first several books in the bathtub--still plot there), even though by day I'm a social scientist of some (unfathomable) respect, and when I write books I like to go very dark places.

I just decided when I started blogging that I had enough things in my life that were serious, and I wanted my blog to be something FUN. Hopefully my readers find it fun, too (I think most do).

I still try to be periodically helpful, and occasionally I am compelled to take on a serious subject, but you will note in my labels that the two most frequent topics are 'writing' and 'pure insanity'.

As for me, the writer... What can I say? I have FOMS (fear of missing something, explained here, mid blog) so I join a fair few writing events (I do WriMos twice a year and always enter the Amazon contest(ABNA)). I've written 14 books, a mix of YA and adult—all toward the darker side—classified as suspense or mystery. I've been writing seriously since 2006 (though I had a lot of false starts before that)... actually mastered plotting with fan fiction (Harry Potter), of all the Bizarro World details.

I published my first book last (actually 7th written, but never mind) year under the pen name Alyse Carlson. It's a cozy mystery and part of a three book contract (2nd comes out in May). I'm actively trying to sell one of my YA books and have another entered in ABNA—And just got a KILLER (that's double entendre, by the way) idea this weekend for one that I'm sure will prod at me until I can find time to write it, though I'm currently editing one of my mysteries (top right corner always has what I'm doing).


And I would be remiss if I didn't invite all of you to join the Naked World Domination Movement... I have a theory that naked people are nicer (because they are more comfortable) so I encourage everyone to give in to their inner nudist... And as the title Watery Tart implies... I don't actually want to be in charge when we take over the world, because that is a lot of WORK WORK WORK, but I do want to pick the leaders.

Oh. And I'm obsessed with llamas. And possibly man-butts.

Me, as portrayed by my friend, Rissa

43 comments:

Sean McLachlan said...

Nice to get to know you better! What kind of social science do you do?

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Great reintroduction, Hart! :) Hope you have a great week.

Hart Johnson said...

Sean, my training is in psychology, but I actually work with an anesthesiology studying pain disparities, so it is more a public health application.

Stephen Tremp said...

Llama are cool creatures but spitters. They look all innocent, and then .... splat. And I do like to write in my boxers, but that's about as far as I go.

SA Larsenッ said...

Yeah, you're just wonderful and amazing, Hart. Love this intro! And you are fun, too.

Jill Haugh said...

Always fun to read your blog. I wonder why you chose a nome de plume?
~Just Jill

Teresa Coltrin said...

Love this. I've learned a little more about you. I like Llamas too.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Nice to see where the Watery Tart started her persona. Always fun to drop by for your updates...

GOOD LUCK in ABNA. And CONGRATS on the second published book!

Juliet Bond said...

Er, Man-butts? Do tell... How fun to introduce ourselves to someone new! Check us out at http://citymusecountrymuse2012.blogspot.com/

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Hi Hart! I am just going to go ahead and ask ... how do you write in the bathtub with out your paper getting wet ... or your laptop?

Thanks for posting about the blog-hop.

Kathy M.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think you're obsessed with all parts, not just the butts!
And I find you fun.

Old Kitty said...

Lovely to meet you in all your glorious NAKEDness!! Take care
x

Mark Means said...

Great post and very nice to meet you. You had me laughing all the way through.

And, yes, a nakedness movement would be quite interesting and could solve the problem of world peace :)

Kas said...

Did you perhaps mean eluding towards the beginning? :)

Also, I'm going to need a tutorial on how to position pictures in a post. It used to be quite easy and I just spent a very frustrating several minutes trying to position mine before giving up and sticking 'em at the bottom. Haylp?

Also also, I always love hearing your self-descriptions. You rock.

Johanna Garth said...

Llamas, naked, FOM, got it. :)

Tina said...

That totally sums up the picture I have of you! Still need to know what that long acronym is that you use from time to time...WWMPOT...something. Eternally curious,

Tina @ Life is Good
http://kmdlifeisgood.blogspot.com/
Co-host, April 2013 A-Z Challenge
@TinaLifeisGood, #atozchallenge

T. Drecker said...

There's just something about llamas that makes them adorable. (not the spit) My parents had one for years and it wasn't the nicest thing. Nice to meet you!

celeste holloway said...

Ha! Man-butts, I get, llamas, well, I'm scratching my head over, but hey, to each his/her own. It's nice meeting you! I enjoyed your post and look forward to more. You're spectacularly entertaining. :)

Shaharizan Perez said...

This was a hilarious, then serious and back to hilarious post! Love the "What I'm doing?" box in the right hand corner. Great idea! Good luck on the idea that is nudging you and on all the revisions you are currently working on.

Yolanda Renee said...

Love the llama pic. and man butts, hmmmm.... good reason to vote for nudity, I say!

Nice to meet you, all sides of you!

LTM said...

Yay for Llamas and man-butts and KILLER ideas!!! And you ARE a world of fun, and this is a fab fest.

Here's to hooking up through blogging~ <3 ((hugs))

Arlee Bird said...

Uh, and who are you really? That's quite a mash-up there. Well, you are loved.

Lee
A Faraway View
An A to Z Co-host blog

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

Love the little portrait. A little insanity comes through in your posting.

michelle said...

I had quite a chuckle. You sound like tons of fun!
Nice to re-meet you, Hart.

Ermie said...

Hey. Nice to meet you! I was slightly worried about your aspirations of world domination but, since your first name is the same as my last name, we could be on to a winner. As for nakedness....... :-/ ...... as long as we get to wear scarves and hats in winter, it's all good.

Denise Covey said...

Lovely to know more about you Hart. This was a fun post.

Helena said...

Two friends of mine (a couple) are kind of considering buying a llama. If they actually end up with one, I'm going to persuade them to name it Naked Tart in your honor.

Christine Rains said...

It's lovely to get to know more about you. Interesting theory about naked folks. I think I have to agree with you!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Then I have to ask - do you like The Emperor's New Groove if you like llamas so much?

Trisha said...

Ha. As I said on another person's blogs, Silverchair's official fanclub for many years was called the LAS = Llama Appreciation Society ;) Because the boys loved llamas as teens. Funny stuff.

Your blog is great! :)

DL Hammons said...

Okay...you made me do a double-take with the man-butt comment!!

So nice to be re-introduced to you again!! :)

erica and christy said...

Thanks for letting me know about this blogfest, Hart, it's a fun (and easy) one! It's been way too long since we've been around the "sphere"!
erica

Donna Hole said...

This is a very fun place to be of course. So glad we met, and continue to interact here and there Hart.

Thanks for all the smiles.

........dhole

Nick Wilford said...

Nice to remeet you! I was trying to put my finger on what I like about your style and it's the parantheses. (I'm a bracket fan, too). OK, it's not just that, but they do make it fun!

JenfromtheBlock said...

Interesting (and fun) insight on the sometimes vast disparity between our professional lives and writing personas. A great blog, as always.

Shallee said...

BA HA HA HA! You are hilarious. Good luck with your book!

I'm a fan of llamas too. ;)

February Grace said...

To know you is to love you <3 :~)

~bru

Tammy Theriault said...

obsessed with llamas you say? we have some llama farms out here you'd love! newest follower, hi!!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Hart - great to read the bit about psychology .. I'd no idea there are so many different types of research going on ... always interesting to find out about.

Your work does sound serious - so no wonder you need to release the fun side of your life .. love the llamas though ...

Great fun post - cheers Hilary

Azara said...

Naked world domination sounds like an excellent idea, although a little nippy in a Canadian winter. Maybe I'll just rule the world in the summer.

I'm curious: how exactly a tart becomes watery?

Nice to meet you!

Shannon Lawrence said...

Llamas, eh? We used to visit a bunch of llamas regularly when I was up with my grandma in Sisters, OR.

Fun introduction! I also believe nude people are happier and more comfortable. Unless it is cold, at which point they should all be in fleece footie pj's.

Shannon at The Warrior Muse

Teresa Cypher said...

haha! Love it Hart, but it gives me pause, to think about llamas--spitting, and being naked. I mean, it's so convenient to remove the spit with the clothing ;-)

Good luck on ABNA :-)

Kern Windwraith said...

Thanks for the entertaining introduction! I'll definitely be back to hear more about your llama and man-butt obsessions and to check on your progress in inciting Naked World Domination. :)