Monday, February 1, 2016

Lost and Found: A Writer's Tale and a Poem

First, I should introduce that this is a blog fest hosted by the fabulous Lee (Arlee Bird) at Tossing it Out, who has done more than his share in helping create a close-knit, supportive writing community, so thank you, Lee! You can find the list of participants here.

Second, I will say I CONSIDERED an ode to Facebook where I have found about 99% of the PEOPLE I once thought lost. It's an amazing medium for reconnection.

This is the part of the blog where I participate WRONG

But instead of Facebook... alas, as I got my stuff out to write this yesterday morning, there was my lost manuscript. Found.

You see, I got two weeks off for Christmas Break. I knew the first week would be spent in baking, shopping, wrapping, wine evenings with my buddies, cleaning as I always try to have one of my gifts to my seriously more cleanliness-oriented spouse that I clean up some of my crap for the holiday... But I really planned AFTER Christmas to spend the week immersed in an EDIT. I had printed it out because I see more hard copy. I did this at work as my home printer was broken and 270 pages in the life of an industrial toner is nothing (and I can print two-sided there, which seems more earth-friendly). At home I had taken off the first hundred pages to get started... and set it... somewhere... Blast it if when I went to get started the pages weren't GONE.

I did a couple small writing tasks the rest of break, but I couldn't get really started until I went back to work January 4...

And then about a week after I'd printed the new and gotten started, there was the old at the bottom of the mail pile.

It was the Universe telling me to rest it a bit, I think...

And THIS is the Part where I have read the instructions...

(I'm bad about this—par for the course would have been discovering I'd done it wrong after publishing).
I am to produce a piece of actual writing related to losing or finding someone I love...

Just let me put on my teen angst hat... you see, I've been with the hubs since I was 22—a VERY long time... and I didn't so much “find him” as we sort of settled into each other—nothing instant about it. So the only loss strong enough that I can still channel is the first one. Love's first sting...

Heartache: A Poem of Sorts

It wasn't, then it was, then it wasn't.
Isn't that always the way?
Sixteen, craving love
Craving craving
Dare I say it?
Craving heartache?
To feel so deeply
Love so deeply
That the sad songs speak to you
Every one.
To scream out
Cry out
Hurt so badly.
It is an initiation of sorts
A way of becoming.
A part of a grander universe
A member of humanity
for whom deep feelings forge the connections.
Oh to be sixteen and in love with love.

For the record—I'm still friends with this guy—the one who broke my heart first. So he was lost romantically, and found amicably. Because I don't actually lose people. I collect them. (This is normal for a Cancer)

So who or what have YOU lost and then found?


Tammy Theriault said...

these are the best words especially for a sixteen year old love! glad you found this poem and let us see it!

T. Powell Coltrin said...

Oh I love it! You have always been a writer then. :)

Unknown said...

I've been with my husband since I was fifteen, but I did have "boyfriends" before him, all of which seem so trite now compared to what we have.

Unknown said...

Love the angsty poem about teens loving being in love and suffering. So true.

Enjoyed your breezy and fun post. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Tamara Narayan said...

The poem captures that teen craving quite well indeed!

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

You made me laugh. Don't we always find something after we've replaced it or given up on it? I wouldn't mind having the health of my 16 year old body but I don't ever want to be a teenager again.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Everyone needs a hobby.
Figures you would find that manuscript after you printed it out a second time.

Crystal Collier said...

Hah! If all else fails, read the instructions. Whew! I hope you're rested and getting underway with your next project.

I actually met my hubby when I was 16, and we seriously started dating a couple weeks later. I'm with you about collecting people. That's the only way to live life.

Yolanda Renée said...

The emotional words of a teen, so apropos!

Read directions, who reads direction?

Andrew Leon said...

You probably put it there for "safe keeping."

JoJo said...

Your poem about being 16 reminded me so much of me at that age too. I'd remained on fairly decent terms with all my exes, after getting over the initial anger and hurt after the break up.

Michelle Wallace said...

I love the poem...and the patchwork heart with the plaster!
Teen angst? It seems so silly now, but not when you're "in the moments"
I also wrote a poem for the hop.
And I'm a Cancerian too!

Unknown said...

Ha! You sound a lot like me, misplacing things. I have a relatively small apartment too, so I don't know HOW things go missing the way they do.

I love the poem! And it's great that you're still friends!

Arlee Bird said...

Not much worse than losing one's writing toil. I've lost several short pieces within the depths of my computer files, some which are probably still there in some unidentifiable file.

Yes, I experienced that teenage angst. Actually I've experienced the ache and longing beyond my teen years.

Thank you for your contribution to what has turned out to be a very interesting blog hop.

Arlee Bird
A to Z Challenge Co-host
Tossing It Out

Helena said...

I can relate to how you temporarily lost a manuscript. I have so many stacks and files of papers in my place I "misplace" stuff all the time and have to go on hunting expeditions.

My heart was broken a couple times as a teen, but I never again crossed paths with the boys and that's okay--wasn't too bad a heartache for me.

Kalpana said...

I tried to comment before but wordpress and blogger don't seem to be compatible. Loved your post and am full of admiration for you for getting into the character of a love lorn teenager.

Michele at Angels Bark said...

Glad to hear that you found your manuscript and that it hadn't fallen into another's hands.
LOVED your teen angst poem. Oh how I remember those days... the all-consuming pangs that overwhelmed our very existence. Your poem brought me right back there. Thanks for that! Fond memories...

Michele at Angels Bark

Elizabeth Seckman said...

Once a writer, always a writer!

Facebook has been wonderful for finding friends.

Guilie Castillo said...

"Craving heartache"—isn't that the honest truth? At that oh-so-very-early stage, that's exactly what we want... the depth of feeling that all these songs and movies and novels have painted for us. Except we have no idea what it really is. And when it does come, it takes us by surprise: the actual pain of it, the individuality... What a glorious experience, the first love :)

Thank you so much for this poem, and for choosing to share it for the Lost & Found hop. I'm glad you joined.
Guilie @ Quiet Laughter

BB said...

I reconnected with a boyfriend from 35 years ago and his sister as well. That's what I love about Facebook too. We are friends now and I'm glad but back then it was a very sad loss.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

There are few things in the world as melodramatic as a teenaged girl with a broken heart, and you captured it beautifully in your poem. Great job!

dolorah said...

Sweet, and a bit bitter. Well, teenage love is rarely lasting, but gotta start somewhere for comparisons. Glad you found the story - that is a love affair itself with many heartaches.

Trisha said...

Beautiful poem! I think a lot of 16 year olds (and those who were 16 once ;) ) can relate.

I agree about Facebook - I found so many of my lost people!!

Misha Gerrick said...

Lovely poem!

I'm glad you found it again. I printed my ms out to proofread, and now I still need to put those red marks into action. And I'm terrified of losing that red marked ms.

Elliptical Man said...

You collect people. (giggle)