tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post1219898146389996107..comments2023-10-25T03:45:03.077-04:00Comments on Confessions of a Watery Tart: Collective GriefHart Johnsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17599570189253229318noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-88674493208338760982011-10-26T11:42:39.353-04:002011-10-26T11:42:39.353-04:00Just catching up, Hart. Had a few giggles at your ...Just catching up, Hart. Had a few giggles at your "scary" posts, but this one just stopped me cold. So very sad. The worst kind of "accident". I feel like your intuition is right on this one, which makes it all the more tragic. Sending love to all involved (yes, you too)<br />BDeb and Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04444390852070865517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-14957574899958612452011-10-25T23:56:12.860-04:002011-10-25T23:56:12.860-04:00I'm so sorry. That really is terrible. You a...I'm so sorry. That really is terrible. You are so true when you say that regret doesn't reverse anything.Krista McLaughlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09230770035490273428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-51481461745584721982011-10-25T14:31:29.694-04:002011-10-25T14:31:29.694-04:00I'm so sorry to hear this. Things like this re...I'm so sorry to hear this. Things like this really shake us up. Peace to you, your friend, and everyone else.Southpawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16539290964546504171noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-3616372890774864822011-10-24T23:34:00.881-04:002011-10-24T23:34:00.881-04:00Hey Hart - Sorry to hear such sad news. Thinking o...Hey Hart - Sorry to hear such sad news. Thinking of you. Throwing out some love and healing karma tooRaShelle Workmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17582252557500502186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-5630745686812501652011-10-24T22:19:15.664-04:002011-10-24T22:19:15.664-04:00Hart, Sorry too to hear of this sad situation. Dom...Hart, Sorry too to hear of this sad situation. Domestic violence is so difficult to understand and it is generally far more complicated than just a victim/perpetrator situation. I had friends with policemen some years ago when I was a waitress and they always hated domestic violence calls because of the volatility- because it may be that one person may need to be in jail but the other will protect them and they have such a codependent relationship (like Michael was describing) and the police can't get the whole story. I have a friend (or former friend) who's relationship with her husband was very volatile and they'd split up, even divorce, and then get back together. It's hard to understand human nature sometimes.Danettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15043881305977386629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-32552597104670262972011-10-24T15:41:14.539-04:002011-10-24T15:41:14.539-04:00Hi Hart - I'm so sorry to read this. I really ...Hi Hart - I'm so sorry to read this. I really feel for you - it doesn't matter how close you are, it is such a shock and sad loss. My thoughts with you and her friends and family. Just be sure to give yourself as much love and time as you need too!<br />Love Laura xLaurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03604785269958873474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-87996923479681738062011-10-24T15:30:03.491-04:002011-10-24T15:30:03.491-04:00oh, god, TH! I had no idea. I'm so so sorry. (...oh, god, TH! I had no idea. I'm so so sorry. ((BIG virtual hug)) Man. Domestic violence is the worst, and they say the abuser won't stop til he's in jail or the wife's dead. Ugh. <br /><br />I'm so sorry. Love you~ :o\ <3LTMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05239077455322030275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-77560264455725329152011-10-24T13:06:31.608-04:002011-10-24T13:06:31.608-04:00Christine, you are so right, that the statistics s...Christine, you are so right, that the statistics suggest we have people in our midst. Scary to think about.<br /><br />Michael-I don't know why we do that, either. I think it is more than anger, but anger is certainly part of it.<br /><br />Dawn-thank you!<br /><br />Helena-I have enough psych background, that if I try, I can build a pretty good history of how it could happen, but somehow, in real life, you never know enough to see that it has happened.<br /><br />Alex-I think though, so many people are taught that, but it sounds like you were also SHOWN that. That is often what I think is missing... words don't mean much if the experience is different.<br /><br />Johanna-that's awful! That would be so hard to cope with!Hart Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17599570189253229318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-37353137302812026072011-10-24T12:27:55.316-04:002011-10-24T12:27:55.316-04:00I'm so sorry Hart! It's such a hard situa...I'm so sorry Hart! It's such a hard situation. Years ago, a friend of a friend murdered his entire family. Although I didn't know the family well I had spent time at their house, once I read a story to their kids. There are simply no words! I think about it less often now but even after all these years it's still a very difficult memory.Johanna Garthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15515478890074610814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-19559416124841873072011-10-24T12:04:40.869-04:002011-10-24T12:04:40.869-04:00That is just terrible. That someone's anger wa...That is just terrible. That someone's anger was so out of control they shot the person they supposedly loved. I can't imagine hurting anyone, let alone a woman. I wasn't raised that way.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-78032448412698361352011-10-24T11:42:44.173-04:002011-10-24T11:42:44.173-04:00I wish I had words of wisdom to give you, Hart, bu...I wish I had words of wisdom to give you, Hart, but whenever I hear stories like this words seem so inadequate. How to explain the destructive side of human nature? Still, I hope you and this woman's family find peace.Helenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14967821142796562697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-36976936035626629792011-10-24T11:36:13.990-04:002011-10-24T11:36:13.990-04:00What a beautiful post to address a great tragedy. ...What a beautiful post to address a great tragedy. Despite not knowing her well, it's always alarming to hear of someone you know dying in such a terrible way. I'm sorry for your loss. xoDawn Iushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01546425873531022196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-42604034438991264462011-10-24T11:10:27.040-04:002011-10-24T11:10:27.040-04:00How do things go so wrong? Easy. Anger. I've s...How do things go so wrong? Easy. Anger. I've seen some horrible things done out of anger. It is one of the most destructive emotions. My mom used to be able to push my dad's buttons so well. She knew just what to say to come off as well...a bitch (for lack of a better word). I remember he would get so angry. I don't know why people who live together get like this...maybe a bad day at work or stress at home. I don't know the circumstance surrounding the death of your former classmate. But on the surface...this looks like the ultimate consequence of uncontrolled anger--the destruction of at least two lives.Michael Offutt, Phantom Readerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10557969104886174930noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-47810851089571163572011-10-24T10:42:19.522-04:002011-10-24T10:42:19.522-04:00I teared up at this. I am so sorry Hart. It's ...I teared up at this. I am so sorry Hart. It's scary. Whenever I see the statistics for domestic violence (against women and men) I'm always hit by the fact that I must know people living in these situations. It's too prevalent for me not to. What an awful way to live.<br /><br />Sometimes society can be awfully cruel. I hopes she finds peace now.Christine Murrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08168406879681616375noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-84153215721753101042011-10-24T10:39:26.920-04:002011-10-24T10:39:26.920-04:00Thank you so much for being so supportive, everyon...Thank you so much for being so supportive, everyone.<br /><br />Mel, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure you know a lot better than most of us how it can go.<br /><br />I really appreciate everyone's kind words.Hart Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17599570189253229318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-60719681001369430532011-10-24T10:27:53.284-04:002011-10-24T10:27:53.284-04:00What a sad sad story. And having a gun in the hous...What a sad sad story. And having a gun in the house clearly didn't help what was probably a volatile relationship.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-3465891967902837072011-10-24T09:31:23.830-04:002011-10-24T09:31:23.830-04:00i don't really know what to say here.
i'm ...i don't really know what to say here.<br />i'm very sorry for both bobbi and her husband and all the friends and family left behind trying to sort it all out. trying to make some sense of it.<br />being available for your friend that was close to her is probably the best thing i can think of that you could do.<br />it's just all so sad.<br />and all to common.vic caswell https://www.blogger.com/profile/01218698236837610704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-7257035941906424622011-10-24T08:59:44.577-04:002011-10-24T08:59:44.577-04:00Such a sad situation. No one ever really knows all...Such a sad situation. No one ever really knows all the facts because the abused/abuser become so adept at hiding life. (Those great posts on Facebook)<br />To think that the only way to peace has to be that permanent, drains the joy out of a day for sure.Mary@GigglesandGunshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07350818228268801008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-43188106983124149252011-10-24T08:36:21.582-04:002011-10-24T08:36:21.582-04:00that is so so sad. It sounds to me like an argume...that is so so sad. It sounds to me like an argument gone wrong too and it does make you wonder about what goes on behind closed doors:(Creepy Query Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18115161057496086972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-72308484288688587972011-10-24T07:30:56.435-04:002011-10-24T07:30:56.435-04:00Domestic violence is very tragic. I use to help wi...Domestic violence is very tragic. I use to help with a support group for women at a shelter in a nearby town. Very scary stuff.T. Powell Coltrinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02160774009926623671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-48356151495799850432011-10-24T05:21:42.599-04:002011-10-24T05:21:42.599-04:00I am so sorry to hear about this poor woman. The u...I am so sorry to hear about this poor woman. The use of guns, violence, domestic abuse... when will these all end??<br /><br />My thoughts and prayers to her family and loved ones. This is so sad.<br /><br />Take care<br />xOld Kittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13185547869183611159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-9235319182055593022011-10-24T04:41:59.651-04:002011-10-24T04:41:59.651-04:00Wow. My thoughts and prayers to her family and fri...Wow. My thoughts and prayers to her family and friends and yes, I hope she finds the peace she deserves. You may not find out the whole story, but it is odd to me that they went to a neighbor's to call 9-1-1. What was wrong with their phone? But this is just the conspiracy theorist coming out in me.<br />I survived two abusive marriages before I figured out the freaking patter. (Second marriage was quicker than the first once I finally caught on.) Its hard to explain what I was thinking. I was like your friend, I shouted across the room, I stood out in a crowd. I don't recall any abuse in my past, but well, that's another story. But when it came down to brass tacks, I used to stand up to the first SOB, even had him thrown in jail. But then it got to the point where I would shout back and then cringe away. I didn't go down without a fight, but the fight was becoming worse.<br />I had to hit a 'wall' where enough was enough and I had to get out of there before something really bad happened. Funny thing is, my ex remarried and there is no evidence of abuse in that marriage. So I question myself. Was it just me? Did I bring out the worst in him? What the hell did I do?<br />Sorry, don't mean to leave a novel of a comment. But it just goes to show, you might know of someone but you won't ever know what goes on behind closed doors, if this was an accident or on purpose. It is something only the husband will ever know.<br />Hugs to you. It sucks to go through things like this, even if you didn't know her that well. It hits close to home.Mel Chesleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08200734886454147170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7127677169344207651.post-27061493582288051602011-10-24T03:47:18.053-04:002011-10-24T03:47:18.053-04:00I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I know you ...I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I know you say you didn't know her all that well, but it's still a terrible shock when it happens to someone you know or have known.Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.com