1) They BIND.
2) They tell you in no uncertain terms when you've eaten too much that day.
3) They tell you in no uncertain terms when you've eaten too much that MONTH.
4) The prohibit range of motion motions...
5) They allow no breeze whatsoever around your privates.
6) They do not flatter an ample figure.
7) They change STYLES and cause your teen to try to redress you.
8) What OTHER piece of clothing is a swearword?!
9) They make people (and by people, I mean me) CRABBY.
10) They are a subversive plan to control the world with binding, uptight, crabbiness!
So if you want to be happier, freer, and more comfortable, it is as easy as banishing pants.
And if you happen to look like these fine fellows... you are welcome to share your pantslessness with the rest of us, please...
So there. You've been pantsed...
I certainly agree with your anti-pant arguments. However, with the temperatures we have here right now (-10 Celcius, 15 Fahrenheit), I would prefer to keep my pants on just for a while. It's not the kind of breeze you want to have around your private parts ... unless you're trying very hard to live in celibate >:)))
ReplyDeleteCold As Heaven
Tee hee, with those pictures, who could disagree!!!
ReplyDeleteRach
Well, that was worth getting up at 4:30 to see. I'm awake now! And wearing pants. But they're yoga pants, not real pants.
ReplyDeleteCaH-well at least you're theoretically on board with the evils of pants thing... I actually understand the 'too cold' argument, though would probably opt for a Snuggie...
ReplyDeleteRachael-Aren't I persuasive?!
Lisa-yes, HELLO! I should have gotten up then, but have a cold, so justified sleeping an extra hour instead of exercise (I will still walk to work... just the 'power one' got missed.
Fun post, Hart. That last picture is sort of like pictures of super models. Come on, how many people in the world actually look like that? One? Maybe two if you count my husband.
ReplyDelete;-)
Tami... did you know there is a Gryffindor snuggie? I kid you not. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh delicious men! I like men in sarongs though and kilts so that would be covered but free too. Free to what? Oh never mind. I'm with Helen though, other than my sweet patootie and her husband, who looks like that? Actually my sweet patootie doesn't look like that last guy if I'm real honest. More like the first one but with a much handsomer face.
ReplyDeleteBack to work - lash!!
yayyyy!! I love no pants day!!
ReplyDeleteI vote for NO PANTS ever...um, yum!
ReplyDeletethis is quite possibly the best post ever written. Ever.
ReplyDeleteAlso, i know of a pants solution to a few of your above issues: Pants with an elastic wasteband.
Aaaaamen.
ReplyDeleteHelen-you are one lucky lady! My hubby couldn't pull off that look...
ReplyDeleteLeanne-Gryffy Snuggie?! I need one!
Jan-you too? How did I get such lucky friends!? and yeah... kilts are very nice... was a fabulous kilted man at our latest microbrewery a while ago. very nice...
Sugar and Dawn *high fives*
Sarah *teehee* Oh, I don't need pants solutions... I like the NO pants solution...
Colene *snort* Yes. Exactly.
Oh my. Be still my beating heart! Pants are indeed rubbish. Down with pants! Literally!
ReplyDeleteLOL! TamiHart... how am I supposed to write now? :D And LOL @Talli--"down with pants." *snort* :D
ReplyDeleteyou guys are too much~ <3
Hart,
ReplyDeleteI wasn't expecting those pics at the end of your post. I think I'll leave my pants on. It's a chilly day in Chicago. I never showed that much when I modeled.
Hart, when you get the chance stop over to my site. I'm having an HP blogfest next month in honor of my trip to Wizarding World in Orlando! I would love to see what you come up with...
Michael
Kate Beckinsale naked... Kate Beckinsale naked... All right, I'm better now!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I live in men's loungewear around the house, Hart.
Let's hear it for the anti-pants movement.
ReplyDeletewoo hoo anti-pants movement!!! two yummy posts from you recently. thanks! :0) christy
ReplyDeleteAhh if only all the pantless promised to look like that. Then a pantless world would be a joy indeed.
ReplyDeleteteehee--You got it, Talli! DOWN WITH PANTS!
ReplyDeleteLeigh-this isn't helping with your nice, wholesome YA?
Michael-ALL OVER HP blogfest! And are you SURE one of those pics isn't you?
Alex--nice to see your coping mechanism is still functional!
Holly & Christy--WAHOO for Pantsless solidarity!
Ann-It IS an obstacle... some people don't pull it off as gracefully.
Great and hilarious post....
ReplyDeleteI could have done without the naked dudes, though. :)
I opened this post at work and quickly had to log off!! LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is only now in the quiet and privacy of my home am I able to understand in full why PANTS is just well, PANTS!!!
Only these guys must never ever ever wear the evil PANTS and should join us in marching behind our banner of NAKEDNESS!!
Take care
x
LOL. Pants can be quite annoying, for all those reasons and more.
ReplyDeleteWell...but do blue jeans count? I think of jeans as very separate from regular pants. And I like mine a lot! :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I CONFESS! I pretty much live in pants at work 'cause I've gotten lazy and yes, they are very unsexy. But I've bought a few sweater dresses and promise to wear them from now on. Except for the coming winter subzero days when I dress like Nanook of the North anyway.
ReplyDeleteDown with pants! When I'm alone, I like to wear the least amount of clothes as possible. Ugh, did I just say that out loud?
ReplyDeleteCD
I don't remember any of those pictures being taken. Hm. Must've been drunk at the time. Oh well....
ReplyDeleteoh, I wish I had bums like those :)
ReplyDelete